Everything always circled back to what happened when I was dating the druid. I’d fallen in love with him, hard and fast, without a care or reservation in sight. It had all felt right with him. He’d taught me so much about who I was as a person, both when we were together and when he’d left. Heartbreak was a numb depression that left me feeling like I was in a dark cave on my own. It swallowed me whole and spat me out in nothing but fragments of who I once was. I had to learn how to breathe again. I had to learn how to laugh and smile again. I found myself in those fragments and pulled my life back together bit by microscopic bit until the tiny pieces were big enough to glue back together. My heart looked like a shattered vase, missing small details that I’d never get back. All because I trusted the wrong male to keep a slice of my soul for himself.
After all that I’d put myself through in the past, how could I sacrifice any more of my soul to someone who wasn’t my mate? How could I have faith in myself to make the right decision? How did I keep these feelings at bay until I could sort out my problems? Would it be fair to consider a relationship with Vaughn knowing that my heart still ached for another? Mate. That was a word I hadn’t thought about in many years.
The thoughts whirled around in my head. Coaxing me further and further down that dreary path. The path that led to the inviting darkness of the cave that allowed me to be secluded from trivial things like feelings and uncertainty. One thought kept whizzing by, the speed of it bringing light to the oppression of my mind.
Why didn't he kiss me?
Vaughn
Saturday Early Morning
What was I thinking!?
I should have kissed her. I wanted to kiss her so fucking bad. No. I wanted to devour her mouth and skim my hands along her thighs, over her hips, and up her sides. Then, I wanted to shove my hand in her hair to hold her where I wanted her while I deepened that kiss and rocked her world in a clash of tongues and teeth. I wanted to taste her until we were both breathless, and then I wanted to stretch her over the edge of that pool table and fuck her until her knees were too weak to hold her body up. I didn’t do any of it, though. I should have. Fuck. I just wanted when she was around. Plain and simple.
Would it have been too soon? I just met her today. Yesterday. “Fuck.” I groaned as I rubbed my hand up my face and pulled at my hair. Man, I was so confused. I’d never felt this way about anyone before. “What the fuck is going on?” And what was this gods-fucking-awful pulling sensation, and when was it going to stop?
Spending time with Sloane was amazing, but I didn’t miss Taylor Caplin lurking in the nightclub. He’d obsessed over her every move like the problem I knew he’d become. I hoped that it didn’t escalate from creeping to flat out stalking. He was the reason why I’d decided to put her favorite bottle of tequila on my tab and approach her. The way Taylor had watched Sloane had made me uncomfortable. I felt an overbearing need to protect her from him. There was something off about him. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but he'd always rubbed me the wrong way. I could call it male intuition, or blame it on the fact that I had three younger sisters at home. This wouldn’t be the first time that I’d had to run off a nutter. I was thankful when she took me upstairs so we could get away from his prying eyes.
I spotted him lurking again outside of the club when we left. It was 5:30 in the morning, and he was still there waiting for her, which made my anger surface. If he touched her, I would kill him. Those thoughts temporarily spun out of control. I had to wrangle them in to focus on my last few moments with her.
After I bid her goodnight, I quickly brought it to her driver’s attention before he got in the car. The old Vampire could hear every whispered word that left my lips without me making a show of acknowledging him. I didn’t want to show Taylor I was worried about her safety. When the car pulled away from the curb he was gone, but I also mentioned it to Jack, the security guard who’d been following us around all night. I didn’t miss the fact that they had a telepathic bond. I tried not to look too deep into that observation because I knew he could warn her better than I could. That was the important takeaway.
He seemed like a stand-up kind of guy until he looked at me in irritation and inquired, “Why didn’t you kiss her? Are you fucking stupid?” He threw his hands up and started pacing as he informed me of a different situation. “She never brings anyone into her VIP booth, let alone spends hours with them talking and playing stupid fucking games. Do you know how private she is? She. Never. Fucking. Does. That.”
The longer he ranted, the more his voice rose, until the last few words were a yelled sort of growl. I could only stare at him with my jaw slack. Was he reprimanding me? I hadn’t felt like I was in trouble in years. Not since I’d left the royal court of the Winter Realm, anyway. He clearly didn’t know who I was. No. No one did.
“Seriously, man, are you listening to me? I’ve known Sloane for years!” He visibly tried to calm himself, meticulously running his hands over his suit jacket and resting them on his hips as he stared at me like I was the biggest problem on hand. Not the creep waiting for her, but me. I was the problem. “You should’ve kissed her, asked her to breakfast, and then taken her home and fucked her senseless.” He was so matter-of-fact about his plan, until he screamed, “Maybe not even in that order. Fucking moron!”
Still, I said nothing. I honestly wasn’t sure what to say. This shifter had balls of steel. I could kill him with a well placed ice shard, but I wouldn't. I did have self control. Instead, I smiled at him. “Why don’t you send her my number?” I asked, and the question only served to piss him off more. I chuckled darkly when he glared at me open-mouthed.
“Send her your number?” he growled out deeply. “Oh my gods, you are stupid.” His sudden change from growl to squeal had me fighting not to flinch. How could one jump so many octaves within seconds? “I’ll give you her number, but don’t call or text her until Sunday evening.” He stopped my nonexistent protest with a raised index finger. “No, no. That’s for me. That will give her time to calm the hell down because she’s going to be so fucking mad that I butted my ass in this. We’ll have brunch in a few hours and I’ll tell her what I’ve done. She has dinner with her parents every Sunday evening and she’ll be in a great mood, so text her at like 8 that night. Okay? Do you understand me?”
He uttered the last sentence very slowly, in a way that showed that he really thought I was stupid. Shit. Maybe I was. I knew I should’ve kissed her.
“Okay,” I replied slowly, mostly to piss him off, and only partially because I was running through the entire night trying to decide if I missed more than that one opportunity. I did. It was blatantly clear that I’d overlooked quite a few chances.
He snatched a piece of paper off a clipboard at the door, aggressively grabbed at a pen, and then quickly scrawled something down before holding the paper out for me to take. In the neatest handwriting I think I’d ever seen from a male was her phone number. “Thanks,” I replied, still speaking slowly as I folded the paper up and tucked it into my pocket.
He grunted a “you’re welcome” and walked away shaking his head.