I don’t know what to do, much less say. My student just saw me more than halfway naked inside a BDSM club—not that he knows what this place is. That is, unless he heard what Dixie and I were talking about before he made his presence known.
Oh God.
My humiliation grows tenfold.
I can’t breathe. All I can do is stare up into the fiery gaze of the young man who spends every study hall hour making me want to scream in anxious frustration. My entire existence is trembling, vibrating. This is my happy place, my safe place, my haven. And now the sole person who I come here to escape from is here. Right here. Invading my sanctuary.
“Ms. Richards,” he murmurs, his eyes darting between mine behind my mask.
I whimper, wanting to cry that he’s caught me here. My mind not even wrapping around what this means. He could ruin everything. He could ruin my entire life if he told anyone.
“N-Nathaniel,” I finally whisper.
Dixie speaks up again, clearly picking up that I am not in a good place mentally at the moment. “Sir, again, I’ll ask you to leave once more before I call for security to escort you out.” She lifts her cell, which I see out of my peripheral vision. I’m too scared to pull my eyes off Nate’s, just like you don’t look away from a snake or bear if you come upon one in a forest. You just fucking don’t do it. As long as you keep your eyes on it, you’ll be able to see before it attacks.
He lifts his hand up to my face, and I fight the urge to flinch. His hand is so big, his fingers so long and powerful, that it looks as if he could crush me without even trying. But as he turns his hand over to run a knuckle along my jaw, the first time he’s ever laid a finger on me, his touch is gentle, feather-light, making the skin along my neck tighten with a chill.
I’m hypnotized, stunned stupid, unable to move a single inch as his eyes and touch hold me under his spell.
Move. Slap his hand away. Do something. He’s one of your students! my mind screams at me, but my body refuses to listen, apparently awaiting what he wants, because as soon as the words leave his mouth, it’s like someone disengaged the Pause button I was trapped by.
“Ms. Richards, would you mind accompanying me outside? Seems we have much to discuss,” he says in a low tone, and my eyes dart to Dixie, who gives me a questioning look.
I lick my lips, taking in measured breaths now, trying to stay calm during what could be a disaster, a catastrophe, a complete crisis situation concerning my life, my entire existence.
“Y-yes, Mr. Black,” I reply and watch as his brow lowers over his dark eyes.
“Very good, Evie,” he rumbles, and the use of my nickname is startling, making me jerk at the same time his praise does something to my body I most definitely do not want to acknowledge. The heated tingle working its way down to my core has nothing to do with his commendation. Nothing.
As he spins on his heel and starts back to the stairs, my wide eyes turn to look at Dixie, who I’m sure can see the panic in them.
“Do I need to call one of the guys? Seven is right upstairs, and I’m sure Knight will be here any minute,” she offers, but I shake my head before she even gets the whole question out of her mouth.
“No, it’s fine. Everything is fine. Please, Dixie, just don’t tell anyone, okay? I cannot lose my membership. I would…. I…. It would just not be a good thing if I didn’t have Club Alias in my life, okay?” I beg, my eyes pleading, and she gives me a nod.
“You don’t have to worry about that, Eve. I’ve got your back. If you need anything, all you have to do is ask, okay? You sure you want to go with that guy? He looked like he wanted to eat you alive,” she whispers the last part, and my eyes dart between her and Nathaniel’s retreating back.
I gulp, shifting on my feet. I have no idea what he’s going to say to me, but I know I can’t avoid what just happened. I can’t simply go on about my night and weekend and then show up on Monday pretending he didn’t just see me nearly naked in a nightclub, whether he knows what goes on here or not. But he’s Nathaniel freaking Black. The smartest male I’ve ever met in my life by far. Scary smart. I’m sure he figured it out the moment he stepped foot inside.
“I’m sure. It’ll be fine. I just need to talk to him about what he saw, and it’ll be fine.” I repeat “fine” a few more times, giving her a weak smile I know looks more like a wince before following Nate down the steps and out the door, onto the sidewalk.
He turns around, pinning me with his stare, and the force of his blazing expression sends me back a step, where I feel the bricks of the building close behind me. He paces a few steps before doing the same in the opposite direction, never taking his eyes off mine. Three steps down the sidewalk, turn on his heel, three steps up. I don’t know how many times he does it, but I’m sure he does. I’m positive it’s a certain number his OCD forces him to act out before he finally stops in front of me and glances down at my lips, the bottom one getting tugged to hell and back between my teeth. I’m pretty certain that flavor I’m tasting is my own blood I’ve drawn in my panic.
“Do you want to do this here?” he finally asks, and I break his stare long enough to glance in either direction. No one is out here at the moment, but people will start showing up any minute for our night of adventure.
“N-No. I don’t think so,” I reply quietly, needing to think five steps ahead, yet my brain hasn’t even caught up to what is happening right now.
“Back to your house then?” he prompts, and I take a step back, straight into the brick wall that had been a foot behind me.
“Back to my house? You… you were there before? You f-followed me here?” My voice trembles. Not only had Nate invaded my happy place, but he’d also been to my home, my refuge?
Before I know what’s happening, Nate reaches his big hand inside one of the pockets of my trench coat. When it comes up empty, he tries the other one, and I hold perfectly still, not wanting to force his hand to touch anything he shouldn’t. He pulls out my keys from the second pocket, takes hold of my hand that is fisted at my side, unfurls my fingers, and places the fob in the center of my palm. “Get your car. I’ll follow you back to your house,” he orders, and everything inside me wants to jump into action to follow his instruction, yet I force myself to hold strong.
“I-I…. What is going on, Nathaniel? Why did you follow me? Why would you drive all this way—”
He cuts me off with a growl, leaning forward and trapping me against the front of the building, and palms slapping against the bricks on either side of my head and caging me in. It stills my breath he’s so close, so overwhelming, taking up every millimeter of my vision. I see nothing but him, and I want to close my eyes and pretend I’m somewhere else, even though I know that’s a lie I’m just telling myself, because I have no doubt I’ve never been this turned on in my life.
You should be ashamed of yourself. You freak. He’s a student! Entirely too young for you.
I shake my head at my thoughts, trying to keep them at bay. I can’t allow myself to shame what I’m feeling, to go back to thinking of myself as a freak.
“You’re shaking like a leaf, Ms. Richards,” he breathes against my ear before pulling back and looking me in the eyes. “Are you afraid of me?”