By then it was too late, and, unfortunately, this was a rare case in which Jonas had indeed brought up the worst possible subject.
Noemi bristled, but she did not answer.
“He passed away last year,” Lyle said, cautious.
“Oh. I’m really sorry.” Jonas’s nerves jittered. He sensed the unwelcomeness of the topic, but he wasn’t sure how now to steer the conversation away from it, and no one else was throwing him a lifeline.
Finally, Amberlyn spoke, and the moment of interminable stillness ended. “You might have heard about the boy who drowned in the woods near the inn.”
She bit her lip. Her words didn’t seem like a question, but the thought felt incomplete, like she was waiting for him to confirm he knew this story. Stop me if you’ve heard the one about a dead scuba diver found in a tree.
“An accident,” he said. Another question that wasn’t.
“That is what people seem to believe,” Noemi said.
“You don’t?” Jonas asked. This felt like an opening, some uncertainty they had been carrying, waiting to uncork. “Some people were talking like it might have been a suicide?”
Lyle shoved almost an entire roll of bread into her mouth, eliminating herself from the conversation entirely. Amberlyn had naturally flushed cheeks, but now her fair face drained of even that color.
If only his life were a video game. Jonas could have reloaded, repeated this conversation, choosing different dialogue options.
“Are people saying that?” Noemi asked.
“Well, some people in my English class thought…” He shrugged, hoping that would be enough of a conclusion to the thought. People said things, etc.
The girls leaned in, listening—not because he might have stumbled upon some new kernel of knowledge, but because they wanted to know what lies had been spread about their friend. Jonas remembered Brian and Tyler, their hesitancy, the way they too seemed suspicious of rumor, and he wished he could explain that it hadn’t been conjecture for drama’s sake, that they’d been trying to explain things to the new kid without claiming anything they didn’t know for certain.
“Don’t worry,” Noemi said. “You can’t help what other people tell you. Especially being new here.”
She watched him, waiting for him to elaborate, but it felt too much like a dare.
“What did they say?” Amberlyn asked, direct but somehow less intimidating than Noemi’s attempted encouragement.
“Just that there are some rumors his girlfriend broke up with him, and, you know…”
“What?” The mask of calm fell from Noemi’s face. “Who said that?” She set down her fork and curled her fists in her lap, her fine jaw set and rigid. “That isn’t true.”
Before Amberlyn or Lyle could confirm or deny the rumor, he said, “Tyler Olsen was talking about it earlier, but only in the sense that—”
“Tyler?” Noemi nearly shouted, her voice gravel in his ear. If the general din of students eating and chatting hadn’t been so noisy, they would have drawn looks. Jonas was almost surprised Tyler hadn’t manifested at the mention of his name. “I find it very hard to believe Tyler Olsen was gossiping about anybody.” Her words were hard, accusing.
“No,” Jonas corrected. “Tyler kind of denied it, actually. Another kid said it. Brian Something? But they weren’t saying that’s what happened. Just that some people had been wondering.”
“Brian who?”
“I dunno. Big guy. Beard.” Jonas got the sense he’d just exposed Brian as an enemy. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know you guys were friends with, uh, him.” He couldn’t remember the name of the dead kid, and he’d nearly slipped and called him the dead kid. “I shouldn’t have asked.”
“It’s fine,” Noemi said. She nearly sounded convincing. “You didn’t bring it up, exactly. And you couldn’t have known. Link was Amberlyn’s brother.”
Jonas’s insides twisted, and his whole body grew hot. “Shit, I’m sorry.”
“Noemi, it’s okay. Really,” Amberlyn said. She turned to Jonas. “Don’t worry about it.”
“Anyhow.” Noemi closed her lunch box, though half of its contents remained uneaten. “I work decorating desserts at a cupcake shop, so I guess I’ve gotten into the habit of making cute lunches. I’ll make you lunch someday.”
It took him a moment to realize this was her way of dropping the subject. She stood. Though Jonas had only just met her a few days ago and had barely spoken with her since, he got the distinct impression Noemi did not make a habit out of dispensing nurturing kindnesses.
“Thanks. I’d love to help.” After he’d said it, he realized it was true.
“I’m going to art early to show Ms. Greene I didn’t drop her camera off a bridge.” She lifted her schoolbag onto her shoulder. “See you in history, Lyle. And we can give you two kids a ride home after school if you want. Later.” Without once looking back, Noemi trotted for the exit.
“I’m so sorry,” Jonas said again once the door swung shut behind her. “I had no idea. Amberlyn, I never would have—”
“Really, Jonas, it’s fine,” Amberlyn said. She forced a little laugh. “Honestly, I’m more worried about you. What an awkward corner to talk yourself into the first day at a new school. You couldn’t have known. We all realize that. Don’t let it ruin your day.”
“Did Noemi think I brought it up on purpose?”
“Noooo!” Amberlyn shook her head. “I think the fact she left was more my fault.”
“Nothing was your fault,” Lyle corrected.
“Bad choice of words. I don’t think you offended Noemi or anything, if you’re worried about that. I think she just didn’t know what to say with me here. And you didn’t offend me either.”
“Noemi and Link didn’t date,” Lyle added.
“Oh.” That she’d needed to clarify this, that it was at all a question that hung before them, made Jonas’s stomach tighten. He wondered how badly he had transgressed, then decided, based on what little he knew of her, if he had really said something to upset Noemi, she would have told him off.
“I think some people thought they were a couple because he obviously liked her.” Lyle looked at Amberlyn, who nodded in encouragement. “But they weren’t, and now she feels weird about it.”
“Especially with us still being friends,” Amberlyn added. “It’s not a topic we bring up.”