I give Buns a skeptical look. I doubt that any of them would ever think I’m darling because of the fact that I’m not full-blooded Seraphim angel, but a mixture of Seraphim and human. “Pampering is for wimps,” I say, trying to make light of it all.
“Exactly!” Buns replies happily. “So, we’ll just go tell the boys that we’re going for a run, and then we’ll plan New Year’s. We’ll probably have to stay somewhere around here because I doubt Reed will let us go to London or Paris for it. He’ll probably have a problem with New York, too. Maybe I can convince him to let us go to Chicago. That would be epic,” she says, beginning to get excited about getting out of Crestwood.
“Good luck with that. I couldn’t convince him to let me out past the courtyard,” I reply, giving her a pessimistic smile. Reed has been extremely sweet, but unbending when it comes to what he considers dangerous and risky.
“Well, this conversation will have ‘awkward’ written all over it then, because I plan on getting my way,” she says with heat in her voice.
But as it turns out, Reed is very accommodating when it comes to Buns’s requests. He just retrieves his shoes and coat when he hears we plan to go running and follows us out of the house without a word. I am surprised until I realize that he must really be worried about me.
Running out to Lake Arden, I feel like I can breathe for the first time in days. It’s cold because it’s the beginning of winter but that doesn’t bother me like it would’ve before I started evolving. I am starting to acquire the armor-like angel skin that protects me from things like cold and extreme heat. The transformation has been seamless, happening a little bit each day. Reed said it would take several more months to complete the transformation.
It’s strange, this new skin; it is smoother than human skin and lacks normal imperfections. It is also a shade paler than my human skin was, but it has a luminosity to it that is very hard to discern, even with highly sensitive eyesight like mine. I marvel at it, because it’s tougher, more resilient, than the skin I had before.
After we run around the lake, Buns pauses on the trail that leads back to Reed’s house. “Sweetie, I’m going to head back and see Zee. I’ve missed him,” she says, smiling, as she looks from me to Reed. “I want to start planning for New Year’s, too. You should stay… get some more exercise.”
“Okay,” I reply, watching Reed. She nods her head, and then she is gone in a fraction of a second, leaving behind only her light footprints in the snow.
“Do you want to walk this time?” Reed asks, falling in step beside me on the path.
“Sure,” I reply, trying to concentrate on the scenery around me, so that I won’t stare at his profile. The beautiful angles of his face make me want to reach my hand out and touch him.
Reed puts his gloved hand in mine, tucking my arm securely in his. We walk for a while, not talking. The butterflies that pull me toward him are ever-present, but it’s more reassuring than sensual at the moment. I turn my face toward the lake, feeling the breeze coming off of it. Smoky breath rises from us, mixing together above our heads like lovers entwined.
Finally, I break the silence. “I’m sorry, Reed,” I say in a strained tone that disturbs the quiet hush of the snow-blanketed trees.
Reed looks surprised when he turns toward me, his green eyes searching my face. “For what?” he asks.
“For not being able to deal with this better,” I say with regret. He squeezes my arm tighter as we walk closer together.
“Evie, you have nothing to be sorry for,” he says quietly. “I’m the one who should apologize. I’ve caged you up to protect you, only to discover it’s killing you,” he says, sounding contrite.
“No, it’s not that really…it is just that there is not a lot to do but sit and think about Alfred…or my uncle.” I say in a hush voice, thinking of my Uncle Jim and the fact that I will never see him again. Alfred had made sure of that. He had made sure that my uncle suffered before he died.
We walk a few steps more before I can say, “It just seemed easier to sleep and not think about anything.” I pretend as if the nightmares that haunt my sleep don’t exist. “You must’ve been worried to call Buns.”
Reed frowns. “I don’t have very much experience with human emotions. This is all new to me. I’m trying to understand your emotions and mine, too. I’ve felt a different range of emotions since meeting you,” he smiles down at me as we continue walking arm-in-arm.
“A different range?” I ask, raising my eyebrow.
Reed studies our clasped hands. “Let me think…” he sighs. “Well, elation is an emotion that I have not experienced for sometime… not since I’ve been here and I don’t remember it being so—intense,” he says, smiling and shaking his head.
“What made you elated?” I ask him, breathless as his beautiful smile melts my heart.
“When you told me that you would never love anything more than you love me,” he says in a soft tone. A blush of happiness warms my cheeks and I listen intently as he continues. “Desire is also stronger, more—potent.”
I nod knowingly, because I share the same unquenchable desire for him.
Reed’s eyes darken as he continues, “Well, Power angels are often jealous… but I have never felt that emotion as strongly as when I had to watch you with Russell—thinking that I would have to wait for the next eighty years, until he dies, to call you mine,” he says as his jaw clenches. “That was more than jealousy…that was sorrow.”
It is my turn to squeeze his arm as we round the far side of the lake. “And then, there is an emotion that I don’t ever want to experience again. That one is called agony,” he says, scowling a little when he names it. “That’s what I felt when I thought you were dying.”
I find it hard to breathe all of a sudden and have to take several deep breaths to try to slow down the beating of my heart. I had hurt him deeply when I had tried to give up my soul to save Russell. It has left a mark on him that hasn’t quite healed yet. I believe he understands why I did it, that I couldn’t just allow my soul mate to be torn apart by fallen angels, but I also know just how separate the head and the heart can be. He notices and stops to sweep me up in a hug that lifts me off my feet.
“And then, there is love,” he says in a voice soft with affection, “an emotion I have never really believed existed. But it does exist and it has a name… and her name is Evie.” He hugs me tighter. “And I can’t live without her, now that I have found her. So tell me what to do to make you come back to me and I will do it.”
I wrap my arms securely around Reed’s neck, snuggling into him, as I try to formulate the words that I need to say so he will know what he means to me. “I have thought a lot about you and the way that you can hear my heart. You said it sings to you, like the call of the Sirens to a sailor at sea. I think it sings to you because you were listening with your lonely heart and it calls to you because it is meant for you. I’m still here…I would’ve given up without you. You’re why I survived. I just miss my uncle,” I say, swallowing hard to get past the lump in my throat.