It feels like the air freezes inside my lungs when I remember that I’m part human, too. Thank the blood I was never cruel to them. I once witnessed Henry removing a slave’s limbs like he was pulling off the wings of a butterfly. To my everlasting shame, I was too terrified to intervene.
Which is why other slaves may take revenge on me, anyway. I’m a vulnerable target. An easy way to strike out at the vampires who’ve hurt them for decades. No, longer, because humans were our prey long before 1992, when subspecies came out of the shadows and announced themselves to the human population.
After another moment of stilted silence, Gabriela is the one to respond. She nods once, her full lips pursed. “Quickly. Keep it out of sight, mija.”
A strange panic seizes me. I snatch up the box Alexei gave me, shoving it into my stretchy waistband. Not for the letter within, I tell myself, but for the human hands that made it. I also have enough sense to take my phone.
Just as I move toward Gabriela again, I realize I’m still in the silk pajamas. I’m never coming back here—I’ll need real clothes. Taking advantage of the humans’ uncertainty, I hurry to the closet and grab everything in a rush. Jeans, socks, a long-sleeved shirt, and a sweater over this that reads NEW VE UNIVERSITY across the chest. Cain’s, of course, as Father only encourages education after the Awakening—and now that I’m a Lavender, I’ll never be able to attend. I’m in such a hurry that I just yank the clothes on over my pajamas.
Once again, I hesitate. My mind races in a thousand directions, one of which is the day ahead. There are so many unknowns. Where will I stay? How will I survive? Panic flutters in my throat, threatening to bring up all the blood I drank at the club.
Just as Gabriela opens her mouth, likely to urge me away, I rush back to the table. I half-expect my purse to be gone. But there it is, resting on the marble surface, still sticky from the blood cocktail Cain spilled all over us both. I have no idea how much is actually in it, but I’ve always treated money like used tissue or crumpled receipts—disposable. Now, I wish I’d been more cautious. I rummage through it, snatching up any coins I find. The Vampire King’s hard face gleams on the silvery surface of a dollar just before I shove it deep into my pocket.
Then, trying to hide how my mouth is trembling, I return to Gabriela’s side. A wordless communication passes between the three humans before, one by one, we file out of what used to be my bedroom. None of us says a word, and a moment later, we’re in the shadowed hallway, where everything emanates menace—even the furniture. My entire body is shaking now. Is this what going into shock feels like? There’s a loud ringing—
A cold hand clamps around my wrist and yanks me back. I don’t have a chance to react before the vampire moves in a blur and another hand covers my mouth. The scream dies in my throat when I recognize the scent permeating this end of the hall, a smell I’ve always imagined as crushed flowers. Mother.
Once I go still, she releases her hold, and I face her. I have so many questions that the weight of them crushes my tongue. But when her shadowed face stares down into mine, I can’t find the courage to ask them. Even now, after how far Cassandra Travesty has fallen, she still makes me feel small.
“It was not you I hated,” she whispers fiercely, her titian gaze darting around us, abrupt as the movements of a fly. She’s not going to let them find her, then. She’s going to run.
Hope and desperation battle in my chest. I grapple for her hand, saying, “Mother, wherever you’re going, please take me with—”
“It was myself,” she rushes on, talking over me as though I haven’t made a sound. “I knew this day would come. I didn’t have the strength to kill you, but I also didn’t know how to prepare you for it. How to tell a child that she had been born to die. Now I’ve just damned us both.”
“Then help me,” I blurt, reaching for her, but she’s already turning away.
“Tell your brothers and sisters I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“Mother!” I hiss desperately. Gabriela is coming toward us. Her footsteps echo in my eardrums. “You owe me this! Please!”
At the end of the hall, my mother glances back, just once. Then she’s gone.
Less than a second later, Gabriela’s warm hand touches my arm. The smell of her rose-scented shampoo drifts past. “I’m sorry, but there’s no time,” she whispers. “If the king changes his mind or comes back and sees you haven’t left yet…”
I nod, blinking fast to hold the tears at bay. Her hand slides down and takes mine. She gives me one more second to gather my composure, and then Gabriela and I hurry silently down the hall and into a stairwell only used by staff. My footsteps make a clattering sound against the metal steps, echoing in the confined space.
Gabriela moves faster than I ever knew her capable, and within a minute, we’re bursting through a side door and the smell of freshly mowed grass assaults my senses. It’s raining again. Or maybe it never stopped. Through the downpour, I see that a car is already waiting. No more limousines for me—this is the vehicle I’ve seen our gardener get into. Fat drops pound against its roof with such ferocity they sound like gunshots.
I rush to get into the backseat, wary of making anyone wait on me. When it occurs to me that I don’t hear Gabriela’s footsteps, I look back. She’s standing in a shadow near the door, her expression sad but strong at the same time. Why did she stop? Why isn’t she running to my side?
Reality hits like an unforgiving wind. Of course, Gabriela can’t come with me. She’s a slave, and they’d hunt her down, forcing her right back here.
By the blood. If anyone suspects that she knew about my true heritage, they’ll take her life. Without hesitation. She’s already risked much by, I suspect, arranging this ride.
The moment I realize we’ll never see each other again, tears well in my wells and wet my cheeks as they fall. Raphael starts to close the door, but Gabriela rushes forward, and he falters. In a rush of warmth and familiar smells, the small human cups my face in her work-roughened hands. “Stop crying, mija, there’s no time. I will find you, okay? Keep your head down and do as you’re told. I will find you.”
Sniffing, I can only manage a nod, and Gabriela presses a harried kiss to my cheek. She exchanges a look with Mei Lien, so brief I wonder if I imagined it, and pulls back. A moment later, the door closes between us, and I’m watching her shrink through a layer of foggy glass as she retreats.
Only until we turn left, and she’s no longer within sight, do I settle into my seat. The three humans crowded in the space with me don’t say a word. The tickle at the back of my throat—the thirst of a vampire freshly Awoken—chooses that moment to return. I seek Alexei’s gaze in the mirror, hoping for comfort or kindness, but he is focused on the road. When I glance at Raphael, though, he’s watching me.
“May I know where you’re taking me?” I venture, an obvious waver in my voice.
The dark-haired human says nothing. As the silence stretches, I dart a glance toward Mei Lien, recalling the look she shared with Gabriela. She pretends to be absorbed in the city passing by. A rare flash of rebellion blinds me for a moment. Maybe I should take advantage of their reluctance, their distraction. I’m still a vampire, even if I’m only half of one, and I’m stronger than them. I could escape this car if I tried.