Paddling furiously, the wave takes the board, propelling it along faster than my hands can keep up. Jared and Joshua stay on their bellies too, flying through the water on either side of me. The rush of traveling just a few meters, driven by the power of the water, is immense, and I can see instantly why these boys have moved from England to Australia for their passion.
"Woohoo," I shout as I almost careen into the sand.
"Fun, isn’t it?" Joshua’s grin says it all.
"Can we do it again?"
"Of course," Jared says, helping me turn the board around and get back on. "Time to paddle again."
"Yeah, the paddling isn’t fun," I groan, as my arms begin to feel the strain. No wonder the twins have such amazing biceps. Surfing isn’t just about fun. It’s physically grueling and takes a whole lot of mental concentration.
We go deeper this time, and I’m panting and bleary-eyed from the ocean spray. Jared and Joshua move to sit on the board with their legs hanging on either side, so I try to do the same. The balance it takes to achieve what they make look so simple is extraordinary. My core strength is letting me down.
"Have we converted you, yet?" Joshua asks.
"I think I need to join a gym before I come back out. It’s hard work."
"But so worth it." Jared gestures to the horizon and back to the shore and I take in the bright blue kiss of the sky against the ocean, and the glittering white strip of sand in the distance. It’s so beautiful my throat burns.
I share a love of the beach with my mama. I have a few photos of me as a toddler with my pants rolled up and my feet in the water, clutching her hand and smiling with glee as the water tickles my toes.
If she could see me now, she’d be cheering with excitement.
"You’ll be surfing in no time," Joshua says. "You’re already doing better than a lot of new starters."
"Yeah. We tried to teach some of our friends who visited last year, and they couldn’t hack the salt in their eyes."
"It’s not my favorite thing." Using the back of my hand, I smooth over my eyes as the sting begins to dissipate.
"All good things come hard." Joshua nods seriously as though he just delivered a nugget of wisdom that we should all reflect on.
His twin almost falls off his board laughing. "That is a line I’ve never heard you use before," he splutters.
Shaking his head, Joshua flares his nostrils in disgust. "Your mind is constantly in the gutter."
"My mind too," I say, twisting my mouth into a mock-bashful sideways smile.
Joshua waves his hand to dismiss us both.
"Hey," I say. "I think mine and Jared’s interpretation is a lot more interesting."
"It definitely is," Jared agrees. "We have a favorite saying," he says with a filthy grin.
Joshua shakes his head, but a smile plays across his full lips.
"Oh yeah. And what’s that?"
"If it swells, ride it!" they both shout, punching their right arms in the air.
"Yeah," I agree, following their gesture. "Maybe I’ll get that tattooed below YOLO."
Joshua stares at me as though he’s trying to work out whether I’m serious or not. "I told Jared we should get it tattooed on our shoulders, but he doesn’t want to, and I don’t want to do something that will make us different."
"Seriously?" These guys are in their twenties, and they still relish the idea of being identical.
"We’re mirror twins," Jared says, as though that explains everything.
"I have no idea what that is."
"When we look at each other, it’s like looking in the mirror. My nose is slightly crooked to the left and Joshua’s is to the right, so it’s like we’re a mirror image rather than just simply identical."
"And the tattoo wouldn’t work because it couldn’t be mirrored?"
"Exactly."
"Twins are weird," I laugh. "I’m so happy there isn’t another one of me. The world wouldn’t cope."
"We’d like it if there were two of you," Joshua says.
"More to go around," Jared smiles.
"Oh, there’s plenty of me to go around." I widen my eyes suggestively, knowing that I’m flirting and feeling good about it. Mitchell is a lovely guy, and we had fun last night, but I’m not looking for anything exclusive and neither is he. If the twins wanted to make me the filling in their delicious looking sandwich, I’d be more than happy to oblige.
When Jared and Joshua glance at each other, I notice a question passing between them. The slight raise of Jared’s head tells me everything I need to know.
If I suggested we hook up, they’d be down for some fun.
"Shall we go again?" I ask, feeling like it’s the right moment to break the ice.
"We’re always ready to go," Joshua says with a wink.
I lie on the board, feeling the waves and trying to sense when they’re going to tell me to paddle. It takes a few seconds before the water swells behind me with enough force.
"Now," Joshua yells.
This time, as I’m propelled forward to my belly, the boys fly past, somehow standing and riding their boards like it’s the easiest thing in the world. With the wind rushing through their sun-streaked blond hair, they’re like Greek gods. Was it Hermes who had wings on his sandals? That’s what they’re like, flying with boards as wings.
And even though I’m nowhere near standing, the rush of flying across the surface of the ocean with just a thin board beneath me is exhilarating.
I go a few more times before my arms begin to hurt, then I make my excuses and head inland, resting the board on the sand by our bags and sitting to watch Joshua and Jared do the thing they love enough to leave their lives behind and travel halfway around the globe.
Will I ever love something that much?
The prospect feels remote.
It hits me that I’ve never found a thing that I love as much as the twins love surfing. I’ve never found something that truly sets me on fire, despite trying every opportunity that presents itself.
Even though I’m faced with one of the most beautiful vistas, there’s an itch beneath my skin that I can’t quite reach. As a distraction, I reach for my cell phone, snapping pictures of Jared and Joshua in their element.
I take a few selfies, even though my hair is matted from the salt water, and my skin pink from the spray and sun. There’s a part of me that is desperate to create memories, and this day feels strangely important.
The sun moves across the sky, time passing too slow and too fast all at the same time, and my heart skitters with panic at the thought of another day behind me.
There are never enough hours, minutes, or seconds. Every beat of my heart feels like a step too far.
I scoop up handfuls of sand and watch it slip between my fingers, hating the reminder of the egg timer that stands next to the stove at home. Hating the knowledge that with every grain that leaves my palm, I’m a little bit older and not at all wiser.
By the time the twins have had enough, I’m more than ready to go back to Cloud 9 for some alone time.
I get to my feet as Jared nears and shakes his hair, spraying me like a dog. "Where’s your smile, pretty girl?" he asks.