“We sure as hell did!” Amanda raises her face, eyes now on fire. “I should strangle all of you!”
She twists her head to the other guys, who shrink back like scolded boys.
“It’s my fault.” I take the blame, knowing it’s useless. She’s gearing up for lecture mode.
“It’s all your faults. Graduation was an important day—why weren’t any of your parents there?”
“It was a formality, and we made it low-key,” I explain. “We’re having a celebratory weekend soon.”
This is the truth. Talon, Ford, and Major’s families are visiting in a few weeks.
“Well, that’s fine, but what about Pete and Sandy?” Amanda pushes.
My spine goes straight at the mention of my parents.
“Not going there.”
“Son, Pete’s been sober for over ten years. It’s time to get over the grudge. When will you cut him some slack?” Rich poses the same question he’s been asking for a while.
“There is no grudge. Let that shit go a long time ago.”
“What about your poor mother? She loves you so much. This rift is putting her through hell.” Amanda’s also repeating the same thing she’s said for years.
“There is no rift. It wasn’t a big deal. I’ll invite her to lunch soon.”
The unspoken question hangs in the air, and Major shuffles his feet uncomfortably.
“Go ahead and ask, Amanda.”
“What about Harley?”
“What about her?”
“I’ve almost given up on mending the fences with your parents, but poor Harley? You used to be so close. She’s been waiting to hear from you.”
“She’s busy, didn’t want to bother her.” It’s a sorry-ass excuse. Actually, it’s a bald-faced lie and sounds exactly like it.
“Bother her? You’ve been in town for over six months. She had tears in her eyes the whole ceremony. She has always been incredibly proud of you. Then you ran like a coward!”
I try to beat the guilt clawing at my insides. I knew she was there, felt her before we even entered the floor. It was easy to spot her, sitting with her parents in the section for personnel. She looked incredible in the navy-blue dress. Her silky auburn hair was hanging straight, the usual curls blown out. I fucking loved her curls, but she was gorgeous any way she came.
It had been three years since I’d seen Harley in person. Her grandfather’s funeral. I didn’t know the man well, but the heartbreak in her voice on the phone had me boarding the first flight available. My intentions were to slip away unnoticed, but my three overly interfering friends ended up by my side, claiming their support. I knew it was bullshit. They wanted to meet the woman who had me so far wrapped up that I never showed interest in anyone else.
Major, Ford, Talon, and I met in boot camp and became quick friends. Our goals and drive were identical, knowing we were all on the same path with our military careers. They were the closest things to brothers I would ever have. Hell, our brotherhood was stronger than most sibling relationships I’d witnessed.
Marines, brothers, and now partners. They were family, and outside of Harley, the most important people in my life. Over the years, and many nights, they learned about Harley. She came to know them, too, through stories.
In those early years, they understood my position. She was too young and too much was at stake. But after she went to college, they took a different stance. A standpoint that encouraged me to tell her the truth.
A suggestion I refused to follow through.
The years away, I allowed myself the communication. It was safe, and even with my feelings, I could compartmentalize, making myself think of Harley as a girl.
That weekend home changed everything. I lost the fight and was forced to face the truth. My beautiful, sweet girl was now all woman. Three days was all it took for me to fall even deeper under her spell. I was fucked.
Totally fucked.
And then I made the mistake… breaking every promise I vowed as an eighteen-year-old when I left her to join the Marines. Just one kiss, I told myself. One kiss wouldn’t change anything between us.
The instant my lips touched hers and I finally had her in my arms, I was toppling over the edge of insanity. It took every bit of strength to walk away, claiming it was wrong.
I thought I lost her for good that time. The look of raw devastation on her face is etched in my brain, and I swore if I ever had the chance, it would never be there again. She may have thought I didn’t love her, but she was wrong.
It took a while, but I finally heard from her again.
Please let me know you are safe.
The email came through while I was overseas, and it took days to see it. For the first time in my life, I was at a crossroads about how to react. Ignoring her was not an option, but this was a chance to make a clean break. Then that damn angelic face filled my head. I couldn’t let her worry.
I remembered my end game.
Her… everything I was doing was for her.
So I typed out a generic response and opened myself up again. It wasn’t my choice to be an elusive asshole; it was a necessity. Our position and role in the Marines was active combat. Until we decided to get out, I needed her to live her life free of worry and be happy.
“Amanda, we should mind our own business,” Rich says, bringing me back to the present with all eyes on me.
She shoots Rich a daring glare that now has me shifting uncomfortably.
“I wish I could go back in time all those years ago and tape your overbearing, opinionated, stupid mouth shut! You should be ashamed! You took something beautiful and innocent and made a colossal mess of things.”
Rich hangs his head, running his hands through his salt and pepper hair, and then focuses back on me. “I am ashamed. I made a mistake.”
“You did what any father would do. Harley was too good for me. If it wasn’t for you, I’d probably have a few stints in jail under my belt. I’m the man I am because of your push. Never let that fact go unnoticed.”
“What I did was chastise an eighteen-year-old young man that had a shitty home life and got caught up in his father’s mess. You were doing what you had to do to survive. I was too hard on you.”
“We knew I was enlisting and leaving. Stringing Harley along would have been the wrong thing to do. She deserved better.”
“But you wouldn’t string her along. You were a better man at eighteen than most men I know. And you only got better from there. I never should have intervened.”
“You did the right thing, and it was over a decade ago. Time to let it go.”
“I’ll let it go when you tell me you’re stepping up.”
“I’ve got it handled.”
“Really?” He arches his eyebrows, rolling his eyes in a way that tells me he knows I’m full of shit. “Four grown men hauling ass out of their own graduation ceremony to hide from a woman that wanted nothing more than to congratulate you? Bunch of chickens. That’s not stepping up.”
The guys all shuffle their feet. I press my lips tight, unable to argue. He’s right; it was cowardly.
“Don’t wait too long.” His words are simple, but there’s a meaning behind them that sets me on edge.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”