Duke dutifully rose, but I merely eyed Aunt Letitia with a narrowed gaze. This wasn’t the first time she’d tried to keep Lord Farnsworth and Willie in close proximity to one another.
“I ain’t playing whist,” Willie declared. “Not unless there’s money on the table.”
“You know we don’t gamble with real money in this household,” Aunt Letitia said.
“I’ll decline too, dear Miss Glass,” Lord Farnsworth said. “This place by the fire will do me well for a while.” To prove his point, he stretched out his legs and sighed with contentment.
“If you want to change clothes, I can send for Bristow,” Matt told him.
Lord Farnsworth held up a hand. “Thanks, but I didn’t bring a change and your clothing won’t fit. You’ve got an inch or two on me.”
Willie barked a laugh only to wince when Duke smacked her shoulder to shut her up.
Aunt Letitia looked pained at the spectacle they were making of themselves in front of a nobleman. No matter how ridiculous Lord Farnsworth acted, he was still an earl, and she’d always think him above the rest of us, including her own brother, a baron. “Duke, come back and rejoin us. Let his lordship and Willemina have some privacy.”
It was Willie’s turn to narrow her gaze at Aunt Letitia.
Duke sat again, seemingly unaware that Aunt Letitia was trying to get him out of the way so that Lord Farnsworth and Willie could form a deeper understanding. It was such a ridiculous notion that I almost allowed a bubble of laughter to escape. I managed to limit it to a smile, however, and only Willie noticed.
She gave me a knowing smile in response. Curiously, she did not seem appalled or amused. Surely she wasn’t giving it serious consideration?
I spent the next hour watching them to see if Aunt Letitia’s plan had merit and there was something more than friendship between Lord Farnsworth and Willie. I was so determined to spot even the smallest sign of flirting that I forgot to concentrate.
“You’re a terrible whist partner, India,” Duke said as we lost another game.
Matt gathered up the cards and glanced over his shoulder. “She’s distracted by Farnsworth in a dress.”
Lord Farnsworth, who’d been nodding off by the fire, roused with a snuffle upon hearing his name. “I say, is that the time? I’d better head off. I need my beauty sleep if I’m to look my best for my future wife.”
We all stared at him, even Willie. This was news to her too.
“You’re getting married?” I asked.
“Possibly. If I like her. I’m not one of these fellows who can wed a lady if she looks like a horse and has the character of a donkey.” He chuckled. “No matter if she’s the daughter of a duke and as rich as the queen.”
“Is she either of those?”
“No. Her father is a moderately wealthy viscount. The girl will be making an excellent match if she manages to catch me.” He rocked back on his heels. He was either quite pleased with himself or a little drunk.
“What if she doesn’t like you?” Willie asked.
“Of course she’ll like me. Everybody does. I’m quite possibly the most liked peer in all the realm. And I’m handsome, of course.”
“What woman could resist?” Duke asked with a large dose of sarcasm in his tone.
Lord Farnsworth pointed his finger at Duke. “Precisely.”
Matt rolled his eyes, threw his hands in the air, and pushed up from the chair. “I’ll walk you out.”
Lord Farnsworth gave his leave and they left together.
“Such a shame he’s getting married,” Aunt Letitia said on a sigh.
“Why?” Duke asked. “A gentleman with a large fortune’s got to get married and have heirs. You know it better than anyone.”
“Yes, but I hoped he’d consider marrying a particular woman of our acquaintance. If I’d known he was so close to choosing a wife, I’d have written up a list of her good traits to present to him.” She winked at Willie who was staring at her, mouth ajar. “I’m sure we can find some if we all put our minds to it.”
Willie set her tumbler down on the table with a thud. “All right, Letty, that’s enough. Seems like I’ve got to make it clear. I ain’t interested in Farnsworth like that, and I wouldn’t marry him even if I didn’t have a nickel to my name.”
“Which you don’t,” Duke pointed out. “You owe me money. Anyway, she wasn’t talking about you. She was talking about Charity Glass.”
Willie screwed up her nose. “She’d make an even worse wife than me!”
“It’d be about even.”
“Did you mean Charity?” Willie asked Aunt Letitia. “Or me?”
Aunt Letitia passed the deck of cards to me and rose. “I think I’ll retire. Goodnight, all.”
“Letty?” Willie said as Aunt Letitia left the room. Once she’d gone, Willie clicked her tongue and picked up the glass again. “I’d make him a better wife than Charity Glass, ain’t no mistaking it.”
Duke and I shared a glance. He shrugged, and I saw his point. In the race to be the worst wife, it would be a tie between Charity and Willie.
Lord Farnsworth and Willie got along, however, which was a necessity for a successful marriage. He also seemed patient, which was a necessity when dealing with Willie, something Duke lacked. A marriage between Willie and Lord Farnsworth wouldn’t be a complete disaster, I decided. The thought took me by surprise.
It would make Willie the wife of an earl. She’d outrank almost everyone, including Matt and his family. I giggled at the thought of Lady Rycroft begging for an invitation to a luncheon hosted by the incomparable Lady Farnsworth.
“What’s so amusing?” Matt asked as he strolled in.
“Willie marrying Farnsworth.”
He pulled a face. “I don’t know which one I should pity more in that relationship.”
“You ain’t funny, Matt,” Willie snapped. “I reckon we’d make a good match. We’d go gambling together, and host wild parties. All of London would talk about us.”
“I’m not sure that’s a good reason to marry someone.”
“We ain’t getting married, though. It’s just talk. Seems like he’s got a girl in mind anyway.” Was that a hint of disappointment in her voice?
Perhaps it was just disappointment that she might lose her gambling partner. Cyclops and Duke seemed less inclined to go out with her lately. Cyclops was settling down, and Duke spent many evenings with Widow Rotherhide, whom he’d met during our investigation into the theft of a magical gold coronet.
“What’d you want to speak to Farnsworth about in private?” Duke asked Matt.
Matt poured himself a small glass of brandy at the drinks trolley then refilled Willie’s glass. “I asked him to introduce me to a gentleman who frequents his club. The gentleman is a good friend of the home secretary’s, and I’m hoping he can find out why Sir Charles Whittaker was knighted.”
We had learned that Sir Charles’s knighthood was given to him in secret with no reason given. Usually such things went through a committee, but his nomination did not. Matt and I had come to the conclusion that Sir Charles could be a spy for the government, and both he and the government wanted to keep that fact a secret. Obtaining evidence to support the theory was proving difficult, however.