And then it happens—every nerve in my body goes on red alert.
I don’t need to turn around to know Hudson has just walked into the cafeteria, but the way Jaxon’s hand tightens on mine gives me all the added confirmation I need.
6
A Tale of
Two Vegas
A second later, it’s like everyone notices him at once. Each person at the table stills as if holding their collective breath even as their eyes dart everywhere—except toward Jaxon and me. Well, everyone except Macy, who’s waving like she’s trying to flag down a bush plane in a snowstorm. And that’s before she slides her chair down to make room for him to join us, moving so far that she’s practically in Eden’s lap.
Hudson murmurs a quick “thanks” even as he grabs a chair and plops his tray down next to Macy. There are four slices of cheesecake on it, along with his usual tumbler of blood.
Macy grins even wider, grabbing one of the plates. “Awww, you shouldn’t have.”
“I heard it was Wingo night. Thought you might appreciate some of the leftovers,” Hudson says to Macy, but his eyes never leave mine, except for the one brief moment where he tracks the fact that both Jaxon and I have a hand under the table. And even though I know he can’t see us touching, I feel like I’ve been caught doing something wrong. Jaxon must sense my sudden discomfort because he pulls his hand from mine and folds both of his on top of the table.
Hudson doesn’t say anything to either of us. Instead, he turns to my cousin like he didn’t even notice us holding hands and asks, “Anyone up for chess later?”
The two of them have been playing chess a couple of times a week. I think Hudson asked her to play with him the first time to take her mind off Xavier, and she accepted because she felt bad that everyone gave him such a wide berth. But lately, I’ve caught her googling chess moves when she thinks I’m not looking, and I know she’s started to really enjoy their friendship.
“You better believe it,” she replies around a mouthful of cheesecake. “One of these days, I’m going to kick your ass.”
“Pretty sure you’re going to have to remember how to move your knight first,” he shoots back.
“Hey, it’s complicated,” she tells him.
“Waaaaay harder than checkers,” Eden teases her even as she steals a bite of Macy’s cheesecake.
“It is!” Macy pouts. “Every piece does something different.”
“I’ll play with you, Macy,” Mekhi calls from his spot at the end of the table. “Hudson’s not the only master strategist at the table.”
“No, but I am the only one with my own chess table,” Hudson tells him.
Eden snorts. “Not sure that’s something to brag about, Destructo Boy.”
“You’re just jealous, Lightning Girl.”
“Damn straight.” She grins. “I want to be able to blow shit up with just a wave of my hand.”
He lifts a brow. “You mean you can’t?”
She just laughs and rolls her eyes.
“Hey, Hudson, hit me up, man,” Flint calls from the other end of the table.
Hudson glances at Macy, who shrugs, before he slides a piece of cheesecake down the table to Flint.
Flint nods his thanks before shoving a huge bite in his mouth. Luca smiles fondly at him before gesturing to the book Hudson put down next to his tray. “What are you reading now?” he asks.
Hudson holds up the book. “A Lesson Before Dying.”
“A little late for that, isn’t it?” Flint asks, and after a shocked pause, everyone cracks up. Especially Hudson.
I want to say something to him—I read that book junior year and loved it—but it feels weird to join in a conversation I’m obviously not included in. Hudson has talked to everyone at the table—everyone—except Jaxon and me. Which isn’t awkward at all.
Especially not when the conversation continues to go on around us. Every time Flint says something funny, Hudson’s eyes meet mine like he wants to share the joke…then they dart away like he thinks we aren’t supposed to do that anymore. I hate it, just like I hate the weirdness that keeps growing between us. Hudson has done nothing to make me feel guilty for being in love with his brother—in fact, just the opposite. But us being mates (and that Jaxon and I used to be) hangs in the air between us like a bomb about to go off.
Add in the way Rafael and Liam keep staring him down because they can’t seem to let go of the past and the way Flint blows hot and cold depending on his mood, and I can’t help thinking Hudson would rather be anywhere but here. But he comes back, every day. He keeps trying, every day, because he wants things not to be awkward between us.
Unlike me, who won’t even talk to him when Jaxon is nearby.
Suddenly, it’s all too much, and I tell no one in particular that I need to go study.
God knows I’ve got more than enough work these days to keep me busy.
But when I push away from the table, Jaxon pushes away, too. “Can I talk to you?” he asks.
I want to laugh, want to ask what he could possibly have to say to me when he’s spent the last ten minutes doing anything but speaking to me.
I don’t, though.
Instead, I nod and avoid making eye contact with Hudson while I send the group what I know is a really fake-looking smile. Jaxon doesn’t even bother doing that before he turns and heads for the door.
I follow him—of course I do. Because I’d follow Jaxon anywhere. And I can’t deny the tiny part of me that hopes he’s finally ready to discuss how we can make this work.
7
I Think I Missed
the Punch Line
I expect Jaxon to stop right outside the cafeteria doors and say whatever it is that he wants to say. But I should have known better—he’s not exactly into public displays of anything. So when he starts down the hall after holding the door for me, I figure we’re going to his tower.
But he turns at the last second, and instead of going up the staircase that leads to his room, he takes me up the one that leads to mine.
The lump in my throat is beginning to feel like a bad B movie, except instead of The Tomato That Ate Cleveland, it’s The Sadness That Swallowed a Girl, a Gargoyle, and an Entire Fucking Mountain. We always go to his room—for serious talks, to hang out, to make out. That he isn’t taking me there now tells me everything I need to know about how this conversation is going to go.