Now, my father was alone, imprisoned, and bleeding in the same place he used to rule, all because of me. If he didn’t hate me for it, I hated myself enough for both of us right now.
Phanes gave Ian one of his arrogant looks. “I have many hidden talents,” he replied, answering the question I’d already forgotten about. “Seeing into the netherworld is merely one of them. You’re a man of hidden skills, too. Naxos should have defeated you, and he didn’t. Moreover, no one’s breached my realm in thousands of years, yet here you stand.”
That shook me all the way free from my guilt. I didn’t need Phanes being intrigued by Ian. I wanted to get the golden demigod out of our lives, not to give him more reasons to stick around.
“You never answered how I’m supposed to get into the land of the dead while only being a little dead, Phanes,” I said to redirect his attention away from Ian.
“Spectral projection spell,” Phanes said.
Ian nodded as if he’d expected that. “Simple enough under ordinary circumstances, but we’re talking about the netherworld here.”
“Lucky for us, her father is in the solitary confinement area,” Phanes replied. “Hardly any guards there. If he were in the active punishment section, she could never slip in and out unnoticed. But, with the veil being so thin here, she’ll only need the barest extension of her power to crack it. No one should feel that, and no one should be there to see her dash in, grab her father, and dash out.”
“So,” Ian said in a speculative way. “You’re intending to spell her into a spectral state, give her your map, and then let her have at this rescue alone.”
“Yes,” Phanes said.
I fought a sigh. It didn’t sound like the greatest plan, but I’d made do with worse.
Ian gave Phanes a sunny smile. “New plan. You’re going with her, and so am I.”
My gaze swung to him. “Hell no.”
He rolled his eyes. “I’d ask which part, but we all know. Yes, I’m going with you. Phanes might be your map, but I’m your security guard, and that’s not negotiable.”
I took in a breath because I hoped it would keep me from breaking into uncontrollable screams. “Ian, be reasonable—”
“I am,” he interrupted, his turquoise gaze now blazing with emerald. “You’re always so fixed on trying to save others, it regularly escapes your notice that you might be the one who needs protection. Take you running off with this sod, no offense, mate,” he added with heavy sarcasm to Phanes, who bristled. “You did it to protect me, and what happened? I had to stop his servant from twisting silver through your heart less than an hour ago!”
“I would have stopped Helena,” Phanes muttered.
“Not in time,” Ian shot back. “You were watching the duel, same as everyone else in the stadium. Must be why that bitch chose that moment to make her move. I was the only one focused on Veritas. Everyone else was looking the other way.”
Shame scalded me. “Yes, once again, I owe you my life, Ian. You keep saving me, and I keep getting you into horrible situations. That’s why I need to do this alone. That way, if I fail, I only take out myself.”
“Leave me once to protect me, shame on you. Leave me twice, shame on me if I put up with it.” His light tone didn’t fool me. Diamonds weren’t as hard as his gaze. “So, luv, let me be blunt: I will not be sidelined whenever you deem it dangerous, and then retrieved when you once again deem it safe. That’s not a partner. That’s a pet, and I am no one’s bloody pet.”
Hurt and anger surged. “I don’t consider you a pet! And coming here with him was his idea as the price I had to pay to ensure you got healed after nearly dying to save me, again.”
He grabbed my shoulders. “I’m not angry that you bargained for my healing. I’d bargain with Lucifer himself for yours, if it came to that. But I wouldn’t leave you behind afterward. That is where we differ, and it stops now.”
“It was only supposed to be for a few hours—”
He let out a harsh snort. “That didn’t work as planned, did it? Even if it had, either you respect me enough to have me stand at your side, or you don’t, and if you don’t, then we are through.”
The words tore through me with more destructive power than that silver knife.
“How can you say that?” I whispered. “Everything I’ve done, I’ve done because I love you.”
“I know that.” His tone softened, but his gaze didn’t. “I also know you’ve lived thousands of years alone, so you’re not used to having a partner. I’ve tried to make allowances for both, but there is a limit. This is it. If you want me in your life, no more going it alone when things get dangerous. Not with this netherworld trip now, and not later, either.”
Then, he leaned close, until his words fell like the lightest of caresses against my newly wet cheeks.
“Choose us. Together, we can defeat anything in our way.”
I choose him, my other half thought at once. If you’re too stupid to, then get out of my way.
Breath exploded out of me in a shaky laugh. “You’ve convinced one of us.”
His hand slid through my hair, making shivers dance over me. “Little wonder. That part of you isn’t carrying unnecessary guilt. Stop thinking you’re responsible for everything bad that’s happened to me since we met. You’re not. I chose, every time, as I’m choosing again. Now, it’s your turn.”
This was impossible! I couldn’t end things between us, but how could let Ian go into the netherworld with me? Any number of things could go wrong! If I didn’t make it out, that would be unfortunate. If Ian didn’t make it out, it would destroy me.
But what was I supposed to do? Have Phanes show me my father so I could wave good-bye, and then leave him to the literal pit of despair?
“Since you two seem so obsessed with time, I should mention that we’re short on it,” Phanes said, with a snapping fold of his wings. “The veil is thinnest right before dawn, which is now. That gives us the best chance of slipping through without anyone noticing. Or”—he offered us a cold smile—“we could always postpone this rescue mission until this same time tomorrow. I don’t mind waiting.”
Spend a full day in Phanes’s realm? How many months would that equate to back in our world? Two? More?
“Sod that,” Ian said. “We go now.”
We. He hadn’t used that word by accident. Either we would go together, or I would go alone and stay alone afterward, too. That’s the choice he’d left me with.
Don’t be a fool! my other half snapped. You’re not leaving our sorcerer. Besides, he successfully navigated the dark void of Dagon’s soul when he was trapped inside him, so how much worse could the netherworld be?
Valid points. Still, they weren’t what swayed me. In the end, it came down to the same thing that had led me to my most reckless decisions before.
I loved him. Nothing was greater than that, even my fear.
“Ian,” I said in my steadiest tone. “Care to accompany me through the solitary-confinement section of the netherworld?”
His teeth flashed in an instant grin. “Thought you’d never ask.”