I don’t.
For a near eternity, I used to dread the beginning of the season because it signaled that the curse had begun again. I would be newly eighteen, trapped in a never-ending repetition of autumn. I would be alone with Grey, my former guard commander, trying to find a girl to help me break the curse that tormented me and all of Emberfall.
This autumn, Grey is gone.
This autumn, I have a girl to stand at my side.
This autumn, I suppose, I am nineteen for the first time.
The curse is broken.
It doesn’t feel like it.
Lilith, the enchantress who once trapped me in the curse, now traps me in another way.
Harper, the first girl to break the curse, the “Princess of Disi” who swore to help my people, is in the courtyard below my window, swinging swords with Zo, her closest friend. Zo was once her guard, too, until she helped lead Grey to escape. I won’t take away Harper’s best friend, but I can’t have a sworn guard displaying divided loyalties.
Tensions are already too high.
Harper and Zo break apart, breathing heavily, but Harper almost immediately reclaims her stance.
It makes me smile. Cerebral palsy makes swordplay challenging—some would say impossible—but Harper is more determined than anyone I know.
A light voice speaks from behind me. “Ah, Your Highness. It is so adorable how Princess Harper believes she can excel at this.”
I lose the smile, but I don’t move from the window. “Lady Lilith.”
“Forgive me for interrupting your ponderings,” she says.
I say nothing. I don’t forgive her for anything.
“I wonder how she will fare back in the streets of her Disi, if you fail to win against these invaders from Syhl Shallow.”
I freeze. She issues this threat often, that she will take Harper back to Washington, DC, where I would have no hope of reaching her. Where Harper would have nothing and no one to rely on, and no way to get back to Emberfall.
Lilith ignores my silence. “Should you not be preparing for war?”
Yes. I very likely should. Grey gave me sixty days to surrender control of Emberfall before he will help Lia Mara take it by force. He is in Syhl Shallow now, preparing to lead an army against me. I’m never sure whether his motivation is for resources—because I know the country is desperate for access to trade—or whether his motivation is to claim a throne he once said he did not want.
Either way, he will attack Emberfall. He will attack me.
“I am prepared,” I say.
“I see no armies assembling. No generals plotting in your war rooms. No—”
“Are you a military strategist now, Lilith?”
“I know what a war looks like.”
I want to beg her to leave, but it will only make her linger. When Grey was trapped here with me, I took solace in the fact that I never suffered alone.
Now I do, and it’s … agonizing.
In the courtyard below, Harper and Zo are matching blades again.
“Do not chase her blade, my lady,” I call.
They break apart, and Harper turns to look up at me in surprise. Her brown curls are twisted into an unruly braid that hangs over one shoulder, and she’s wearing leather bracers and a gilded breastplate like she was born to royalty and weaponry. A far cry from the tired, dusty girl whom Grey dragged from the streets of Washington, DC, so many months ago. Now she’s a warrior princess, complete with a long scar across one cheek and another across her waist, both courtesy of the horrible enchantress behind me.
When she looks at me, her eyes always search my features, as if she suspects I am hiding something. As if she is angry with me, even though she doesn’t voice it.
Lilith waits in the shadows at my back. There once was a time when Harper invited me to her chambers to protect me from the enchantress. I wish she could do that again.
I haven’t been in her chambers in months. There is too much unspoken between us.
“I didn’t know you were watching,” Harper says, and she sheathes her sword as if she’s displeased.
“Only for a moment.” I hesitate. “Forgive me.”
As soon as I say it, I wish I could take it back. It sounds like I’m apologizing for something else. I suppose I am.
She must hear the weight in my tone, because she frowns. “Did I wake you?”
As if I ever sleep anymore. “No.”
She stares up at me, and I stare down at her, and I wish I could unravel all the emotion that hangs between us. I wish I could tell her about Lilith. I wish I could earn her forgiveness—and win back her trust.
I wish I could undo so many things.
“I don’t know what you mean,” she finally says. “About chasing the blade.”
“I could come show you,” I offer.
Her expression freezes, but just for a moment. My heart stutters in my chest. I expect her to refuse. She’s refused before.
But then she says, “All right. Come down.”
My heart leaps—until Lilith speaks from behind me.
“Yes,” she says. “Go, Your Highness. Show her the power of your weapon.”
I whirl, glaring. “Leave here, Lady Lilith,” I whisper furiously. “If you are so concerned about my preparations for war, I suggest you find some way to make yourself useful, instead of tormenting me whenever you need a childish diversion.”
She laughs. “As you say, Prince Rhen.”
She reaches out a hand as if to touch my cheek, and I jerk back, stumbling into the wall. Her touch can be like fire—or worse.
Lilith’s smile widens. My hands curl into fists, but she vanishes.
From the courtyard below, I hear Harper call, “Rhen?”
I draw a tense breath and return to the window. The sun has begun to lighten the sky, painting her dark hair with sparks of gold and red.
I’m supposed to be preparing for war, but I feel like I’m already in the middle of one.
“Allow me to dress,” I say. “I’ll be down in a moment.”
CHAPTER THREE
HARPER
I’m surprised Rhen is coming down. I’m surprised he was watching at all, honestly. Since Grey gave him an ultimatum, Rhen has been tucked away in meetings with Grand Marshals from far-off cities, with military advisors, or with his Royal Guard.
Which is fine. When I’m with him, a tiny ball of anger burns in my gut, and nothing ever seems to douse it.
The anger makes me feel guilty. Everything he does, he does for his kingdom. For his people. Being a prince—being a king—requires sacrifice and tough choices.
No matter how many times I remind myself of that, I can’t forget what he did to Grey and Tycho.
I can’t forget that I came back here instead of going with my brother.
Instead of going with Grey.
I turn back to Zo, but she’s sheathed her sword. Her eyes are tense. “I should return to my quarters.”
She doesn’t want to be here with Rhen. I hesitate, then frown.
Zo came to the castle months ago, when Rhen was trying to rally his people to defend Emberfall against the invasion from Syhl Shallow. She’d been an apprentice to the Master of Song in Silvermoon Harbor, but she had skills in archery and swordplay, so she applied for the Royal Guard—and Grey chose her, then assigned her to be my personal guard.