My thoughts flashed to the many awful places I’d spent time in, from prison, the underground fighting and gambling rings, to the godforsaken foster homes I’d moved through. If I’d stayed too long in a single one of them, I knew who I would have become. I knew the sense of justice and the empathy instilled in me by plays and music would have been snuffed out eventually. The violence within me, the need for confrontation and victory, would have drowned out everything else if I’d not escaped those people, and those environments.
Could anybody be blamed for becoming a product of their surroundings? My salvation had been to keep moving, to limit the amount of time I spent in the places that brought out the worst in me. But Ares was a freaking God. Where was he supposed to go? How could he choose to keep better company, or none at all?
I thought of his face, alight with the euphoria of the battle with the Hydra. His power had denied him that feeling for centuries. Perhaps his power had denied him other feelings too.
Maybe there really was more to him.
Or maybe I was just clinging to the hope that my physical attraction to him could be mitigated by him not being an asshole.
5
Bella
We finished our wine in silence. I wanted to ask about my power, and the demon, and what we should expect in the next Trial, but fatigue had washed over me, and Ares looked exhausted too, brooding over his drink. Deciding to wait until I had the energy to annoy him into answering my questions, I stood up and stretched.
“I’m going to bed,” I announced.
We both looked at the chintzy bed against the wall.
"You know that thing you mentioned about regaining the favor of someone you've pissed off?" I said.
Ares stared up at me. "Yes."
"Well, one way to make me like you again would be to let me have the bed."
He blinked at me. "But then where would I sleep?"
The man was clearly an idiot.
"I don't know and I don't give a shit."
Ares scowled at me, but didn't argue. "Fine. I shall sleep on the couch."
"Good."
I tampered down the tiny part of me that wanted to offer to share the, actually quite reasonably sized, bed. Even if he accepted such an invitation, which I didn't believe he would, it was the worst idea ever. I just wished my body would agree with my head for once.
I slept badly, dreams of fire and ringing steel rousing me regularly. I looked over to where Ares’ huge form lay on the floor each time I awoke, but he never stirred. He hadn't fit on the couch, and accompanied by a lot of grunting and muttered curses had instead opted for the rug. I didn’t feel the slightest bit guilty in the comfortable bed. I intended to piss him off just as much as he had upset me.
I knew what was rousing me from sleep. The Keres demon would have beaten me. And then either stolen my soul or killed me. I wasn’t sure which was worse. I had come up against few people stronger than me, and none by that margin. The knowledge that she was out there made me restless.
Aphrodite using her power on me had been bad enough, along with the knowledge that she could smite me down with a look. Even Ares, who had hardly any power, had managed to put me on my ass.
I needed to get stronger. I couldn't continue to be the weakest in this fucked up game I’d found myself in, or I wouldn’t survive.
"Wake up, sleeping beauty." My cat’s voice filtered through my head and I sat up with a start.
"Zeeva!" She was sitting at the end of my bed, tail curled neatly around her butt. I flicked my bleary gaze at the rug, but Ares wasn't there.
"He's in the washroom." An image of Ares naked and under running water instantly made my cheeks heat.
"Where the hell have you been?" I snapped at Zeeva, rubbing my eyes.
"You and Ares needed some space to work out your differences," she answered coolly. I raised my eyebrows.
"Bullshit."
In a heartbeat, Zeeva grew, her whole body glowing teal and her eyes a blazing amber. A lion-sized cat towered over me and it was all I could do not to shrink back under the covers.
"Do not swear at me, Enyo." Her voice rang fiercely in my head, just as intimidating as her big-cat form.
"OK, OK, calm down," I said, holding both hands up. "Sorry for swearing at you." Slowly, she shrank back down.
"I did not know where the Lords of War had sent you, but I sensed your magic when you returned and came straight here. I listened to your conversation with Ares about the demon and the ship, and relayed it to Hera. I have been here with you since."
"Oh," I said. "Well, erm, thanks. But if you're hiding from me, you can't really blame me for thinking you've just abandoned me." I couldn't help the whiny note in my voice. It was one thing to suspect that your stuck-up pet didn't like you. It was another to suddenly be able to communicate with them and find out that they actually don't. And that they can kick your ass.
"I did not want to interfere with your reconciliation with Ares."
I snorted. "Reconciliation? Hardly. The man is an-"
She cut me off before I could finish the sentence. "Bella, you are getting through to him."
"What?"
"He considered your words last night, instead of dismissing them. I believe his lack of power has awakened something in him, and you can take advantage of that."
I cocked my head at the cat. She was confirming what I had hoped, that he was at least capable of changing. But... "What do you mean by take advantage?"
The cat swished her tail, her eyes boring into mine. "Tell me exactly what happened on the ship," she said eventually.
"Only if you give me coffee."
"Tell me," she repeated, and I rolled my eyes and pushed back the covers. I told her everything that had happened as I dressed, and she pushed me for minute details. By the time I was done reliving the memory of being completely useless, and so close to Joshua but failing him, I was mad again.
"It is as I thought. Ares saved your life."
"What?" I stared at the cat.
"He rescued you from that ship, and must have traded something with Eris for her help. You would probably not be here if it were not for Ares."
Zeeva's words smacked into me like a hammer. How the hell had it not occurred to me already that I owed the brutish God of War my life?
My simmering anger instantly swallowed the budding guilt though. "He saved me because I'm his only source of power, no other reason than that."
"I would not be so sure."
"Do you know something I don't?" I asked her, pulling my hair into a knot on top of my head and using a band from my backpack to secure it.
"A great many things."
I gave her a sarcastic smile. "No doubt. I was referring specifically to Ares."
"I have suspicions. None I may act on or share."
"As usual, thanks for nothing," I muttered.
"You will thank me eventually," she said.
"Hmmm. I want to learn more magic," I told her, putting my hands on my hips.
"Good. But there is a limit to what I can teach you. I do not wield power like yours."