“It's good to finally see you, Ava.” I press a kiss to her forehead, feeling her tremble.
“It's good to finally be seen,” she whispers back.
Chapter Four
Ava
The nurse creates a fuss. I knew she would, as she scolds me for being silly. She does it while sticking her chest out to show off her assets. She needn't bother none of the men in this room have shown her any kind of attention. All three of them focus entirely on me.
Part of me wants to shy away from the attention. Them seeing me like this makes me want to curl into a little ball and just cry, but there’s something reassuring in feeling their gazes on me. Like if they can see me, then I’m really here, and this isn’t a dream. I’m not still lying down in that basement, waiting for death to free me.
“She’s dehydrated. She needs the IV for at least a few more hours. Evidence needs to be collected and a rape kit, plus the psych—”
The tall guy Diesel called Lucky turns as if in slow motion to face the nurse and growls at her with barely concealed hostility. “Either you remove this IV or I’ll find someone else to do it. She wants a shower, and so help me god, she’ll get one if I have to go through every single doctor and nurse here until I find someone to help us.”
She huffs but finally relents when she realizes the wall of leather and muscle in front of her won't be swayed by her words or her tits.
“Fine, but as soon as she's finished, call me, and I’ll get it hooked back up.” She tuts, disconnecting the tubing, a touch rougher than necessary, making me wince.
She fiddles around with the shorter tube still in my hand and stomps out of the room, closing the door behind her and leaving me with the guys.
“Ava, do you have anything you can change into?” the guy nearest the door — Rebel— asks me, his eyes on mine.
“Um…” I hesitate, embarrassed. I don't know why. It's not my fault. I was held by a mad man for a year, I remind myself. Because if I say it enough, I might start to believe it.
“No worries. I’m going to head down and find you something. It won't be fancy, but it will be clean, okay?” He smiles softly at me.
I nod, touched at his thoughtfulness.
He steps toward me, Lucky moving aside to make space for him, and he slowly lifts his hand, giving me a chance to move if I want to.
He gently cups my face before continuing. “Is there anything you want besides clothes? If I can get it, I will,” he offers, keeping his voice low.
I pause for a minute, everything blurring as I remember all the things I missed and thought about during my captivity, but nothing seems important right now except perhaps— “A burger?” It comes out more of a question than an answer, making the guys chuckle and my face flush with heat.
“A girl after my own heart.” He winks before stepping away.
I don’t have the heart to tell him that anything would be better than oatmeal, which was my staple.
“I’ll be right back.” He moves to leave and for a brief moment I panic, reaching out to snag his hand before he disappears because if he disappears, I might too.
But if it was a dream, would his hand feel so warm inside mine?
“Hey, it's okay. I promise I’ll be right back. You have Diesel beside you and Lucky here will guard the door. You see the size of him?”
I look up at the guy in question, who is gazing down at me intently.
“This huge motherfucker, ain't letting nobody get past him, no one. You just let Diesel here take care of you okay? Nobody is going to get near you on our watch,” he vows.
I feel the tears slip over my cheeks and jerkily nod my head in response.
“There's my girl.” He smiles and something in his smile soothes me.
There's no darkness hidden behind it. No twisted promises, just honest and earnest words meant to comfort me.
“Thank you,” I murmur, reluctantly letting go so he can leave.
I watch him walk away, gripping the bed sheet to stop myself from reaching out once more. I know my responses are due to what happened to me. I’m scared to be left alone again, I know all this logically, but it changes nothing. I don’t want them to go, I don’t want to be alone anymore. When the door closes behind him, I watch as Lucky moves and stands beside it like a formidable sentry, barring anyone from entering.
Something loosens in my chest at his actions, Rebel's words reminding me Lucky won’t let anyone inside.
I look up at Diesel and find his pretty blue eyes – the ones that remind me of the forget-me-nots that grew in my front yard when I was a child — watching me, waiting patiently for me to give him the go-ahead that I’m ready.
“Okay.” I blow out a breath. “Let's do this.”
Gently, as if I’m made of china, Diesel bends and scoops me into his arms, pulling me close to his chest.
I whimper in protest when I realize that being this close means my stench will get on his cut and start to panic. “Your cut, I’ll make it dirty. I’m sorry, I stink. I know but —”
He dips his head and shocks the ever-loving shit out of me by pressing a soft, chaste kiss to my lips. He pulls back almost as soon as his lips touch mine.
“You smell like a fucking survivor to me, Ava. I’m honored to be able to hold you,” he tells me with a quiet growl that has my mouth dropping open in surprise.
He carries me to the bathroom and sits me on the toilet as he reaches into the shower and turns the dial. My nerves kick in when he turns back to face me, making me fidget with the hem of the horrible scratchy hospital issued nightgown.
“If you want me to leave, I will do, but I swear to you, Ava, you never need to be nervous or afraid around me," he tells me, making my cheeks flame.
Am I really that easy to read?
“I’m just embarrassed,” I admit.
It's the first time I will willingly let a man see me naked. Covered in filth, in a hospital ward while I’m too weak to even stand on my own, isn’t the way I envisioned it would be.
Not that it matters. Who the fuck would want me now? I don’t even know if I’ll ever be able to have that kind of relationship with anyone. Intimacy involves trust, and I’m not sure I know how to do that anymore.
“You have nothing to be embarrassed about, I swear, but I’m going to need you to be honest with me here. Are you strong enough to stand and wash yourself if I help you undress?”
I take a second to think about it. As much as I want to tell him I can do it, because this whole situation is already humiliating enough, the truth is I know I just don't have the strength. But I need a shower more than I need to hold on to my pride.
“No,” I whisper.
“Okay, Ava, here's what I’m gonna do. I’m going to strip down to my boxers, my clothes are soaked through anyway so I’m not gonna lie, that hot water is calling my name.” He grins, making me relax.
“Then I’m going to help you undress and lift you into the shower with me. We’ll get you cleaned up and feeling like your old self again, okay?"
I nod even though I know I won’t feel like the old me at all. I can’t even remember who she is anymore, but one thing’s for sure, I’ll never be that girl again.