“It’s not a big deal.” I sigh and throw my head back into the pillows. “My worth isn’t dependent on whether or not a dick enters my vagina.”
“True. But your worth will increase a hundred-fold if that dick is attached to Clay Fallon.”
I pull the pillow from beneath her as I let out a groan of frustration, then I whack her over the head. “You’re disgusting.”
“And you want him... I can see it a mile away, Lex.”
I roll over so my back is to her. “Night, Jessica.”
There’s a quiet giggle, then, “Sweet dreams.”
CHAPTER THREE
everyone is afraid of something
ROMAN
It’s been weeks since I’ve heard anything from the Fallons and when I do get a text, I’m disgusted with myself for entertaining the thought that it could be one of them. Hell, I’d take a text from Knox right now. Since I found out Autumn was pregnant, I’ve been trying to keep my distance and only communicate by text. The less I hear of her voice, the better. This obsession is becoming a serious problem and I can’t shake it. I can’t speak to another female without feeling like I’m betraying Autumn, and we’re not—and never were—exclusive. My mind runs rampant with unanswered questions. Could Flynn’s blood be making me this way? Is he to blame for my obsession?
When my phone chimes with a message, I can’t get it out of my pocket fast enough.
Autumn: Hey, are you busy?
Me: Never too busy for you
Autumn: Can you come over?
Me: What for?
Autumn: Bella’s been asking about you. Steel wants to see if you might trigger any memories... good ones
Me: Not a good idea
Autumn: Why, and what’s wrong?
Me: It’s pointless and nothing is wrong
Autumn: I don’t believe you...
Me: And I don’t care
A few seconds pass and she doesn’t reply, so I put my phone on the coffee table and lean back on the leather sofa. My life has been boring as hell since I killed Corbin. I can’t believe I miss that bastard and the shit storm that was his life. I take a mouthful of beer, then inject a syringe full of Flynn’s blood into my vein. The high it brings never ceases to amaze me, and though I’m loath to admit it, I’m grateful he’s letting me use his blood because I’ve got fuck all information for him right now.
When the commander does send me out, it’s for mundane, bullshit jobs that could be done by the lower recruits. If he orders me to break into one more hotel room to steal less than a hundred bucks, I’ll take the cash from my own damn wallet to shut him up.
My phone rings and Autumn’s name comes up on the screen. I stare at it like an idiot. An idiot who is still in love with the one woman I will never have.
The ringing stops, but a few seconds later it starts again. This time, I answer it.
“Yup...”
“What’s wrong?”
I pace my living room. “I told you, nothing.”
“You’re lying. Do I have to come over there and talk to you?”
I roll my eyes. “Do not come here. What do you want anyway?” The harshness in my tone causes her breath to hitch.
Sadness laces every word. “Will you come over, please?”
I take a swig of my beer before I reply. “What’s the point? She’s forgotten everything else. Why the hell would she remember me? I don’t remember ever seeing her. Not once.”
“Steel wants her to get to know you, properly.”
“I’m the brother of the guy who tortured and raped her. She doesn’t need that in her life. Leave me alone.” I hang up and throw my phone across the room, but it hits the other sofa and bounces onto the carpeted floor without a sound.
I continue pacing my living room wondering what Alec is doing. I swipe my phone off the floor to text him but decide against it. No doubt he’s with Skylar. Everyone’s out fucking someone, and I’m here alone... fucking myself. This is all bullshit. My life is a mess, and the more I have of Flynn’s blood, the more I need. Lately, I’ve been spending more time in the shower jerking off than I’ve spent at the warehouse. I considered going back to Luxuria until I found out Knox and Charlotte bought it. I shouldn’t care. I have needs, but I’d rather they didn’t know about them.
Again, my phone rings. This time it’s Flynn. I exhale, then answer it.
“What do you want?”
“Damn it, Roman. Do you have to make her cry every time she talks to you?”
Flynn warned me more than once to be “extra sensitive” since Autumn’s apparently an emotional mess.
“Every time?”
“Get over here, now.”
“Fuck you.” I shove my phone into my pocket, but of course, like the ever-obedient slave, I do what I’m told.
By the time I reach the gates of the Fallon Mansion, my anger has simmered and all I’m concerned about is seeing Autumn. I never wanted to hurt her, but goddamn it, I’m doing it a hell of a lot lately.
When I pull up in the driveway and get out, Autumn’s guard, Hart, pats me down and I hand over my knives before he leads me to the door. “Flynn’s not happy,” he says.
I shrug. “And I should care, why?”
He grunts. “He could kill you with his bare hands, Twelve, watch yourself.”
Whatever, dickhead. The butler, Parker, greets me at the front door. “Good evening, Roman. May I get you a refreshment?”
I say “hello” and ask him for a beer before he wanders off into their lavish kitchen that’s bigger than my apartment.
While I’m waiting, a young girl rushes down the staircase. Black hair flows over her shoulders in long, spiralling ringlets, and her short purple dress shows off every curve of her slim figure. When she sees me, she stops at the bottom step and smiles. She’s cute, but not gorgeous... not like Autumn. Stop comparing every female to Autumn. My head is a mess, and my heart—that was once stone cold—is full of broken pieces I wish would pierce through my chest and put me out of my misery.
She twirls an ebony curl through her fingers. “You’re Roman?”
I extend my hand to shake hers.
“I’m Kailey. It’s nice to meet you.”
“You’re someone’s girlfriend?” I ask confused.
She shakes her head but doesn’t reply, and when Steel comes down the stairs behind her, she sighs. “I didn’t say anything.”
“Hey man,” he says, “this is Kailey, she’s our cousin.”
When a baby cries, Kailey covers her ears and Steel laughs. “You can always leave.”
She shakes her head. “Nope, I’ll show Roman around while he’s waiting for Flynn.”
I pull my hand from hers. “I don’t need to be shown around.” At all.
“Come on,” she whines. “The garden is so pretty.”
“Roman, she won’t give up, so enjoy.”
I glare at Steel. “Thanks.”
The butler finally comes back with my beer and when I take it, Kailey takes the opportunity to grab my other hand and drag me through the foyer and into the kitchen. She pushes open the French doors and leads me outside.