I nod.
“Then you probably know they only accept apprentices from nobility. Keeping the power in the family, as it were.” Perran’s voice remains neutral, but his eyes flash dangerously.
“You also know Ruri is a noble. The Bryhers are one of the more remote, lesser-known noble families, but when Ruri came to us as a child, her lineage opened a door we’d always thought closed.”
Perran suddenly sits up, digging the tip of the knife into the soft wood of the table. My heart beats a little faster. I hold my breath as he continues.
“She gave us the potential to plant a spy in the heart of the Governance. Her magic was perfect, too. Who better to spy for us than a telepathic noble loyal to the Defiance?” He pauses, waiting.
I don’t speak, despite the thousand questions on my lips. I sit back in my chair, although I don’t remember leaning forward.
He reaches out and slides a decanter of wine toward him, pouring the red liquid into a crystal tumbler, careful not to spill a drop. “It is an opportunity that comes once in a lifetime,” he continues, filling a second glass. “I warned her not to go home this close to the mission, but she insisted. It was her only condition, and she was adamant, so I acquiesced.”
Perran slides a tumbler of wine in my direction, then takes a sip of his own before continuing. “We wanted to wait until she was a little older, but then we got word the Governance plans to move Vankuza this year. Move it somewhere inland. So we brought our plans forward and pulled some strings to secure her apprenticeship.”
I look down at my glass, not touching it. The rich, cloying smell of the wine turns my stomach. I fold my hands in my lap.
“It’s possibly the only chance we’ll have to free the mages trapped in Vankuza,” Perran adds softly. “To save…” His voice trails off, as if he was about to add something else, then thought better of it.
He takes a long draught from his glass, and his nerves set my teeth on edge. I know where this is going, but I want him to say it. To make his ridiculous request out loud.
“So I’m sure you can see our predicament. We’ve secured an apprenticeship for the Bryher’s dark-haired, eighteen-year-old daughter. A mage loyal to our cause. A mage whose gift will help us spy on them.” He drains his glass. “She was supposed to start on the spring equinox. I’d hoped you might take her place.”
Despite myself, I laugh.
The spring equinox is next Moonsday, a week away.
My laughter becomes manic, and Perran eyes me, eyebrow raised. It takes a few moments before I can compose myself. When I do, I feel oddly formal.
“Perran, you can’t be serious. You call this power a gift?” I spit out the word. “You saw what happens when I’m around lots of people and emotions are high. It incapacitates me.”
The splitting headaches, the nosebleeds, my body physically reacting to all the emotions…
The memory of the fire comes back to me in a rush of shame. “I’m the reason Ruri got caught in the first place.” The admission catches in my throat. “I was worse than useless when the snatchers arrived.”
Perran bites into the apple with a crunch, not answering.
“Besides,” I continue, “Ruri had her whole life to train for this. She’s learned how to control and hone her magic over several years, while I…”
Bitterness swells in my chest and I swallow it down, shaking my head. “No, Perran. I’m going home to Gee. My life is traveling with her now.”
He remains silent, then removes the letter from his pocket and slides it across the table. His emotions shift. Guilt threads between us, amplifying my own.
I snatch the letter, unfolding it, my eyes raking over the writing. Lucine’s words ring in my head, like she’s there, talking to me. I read her last words out loud, my voice thick.
“She didn’t make it.”
Gee…
The words blur. The whole room blurs as hot tears spill from my eyes.
My bright-eyed grandmother. The woman who took me in when nobody else would. The only family I had left.
Cold creeps over me, settling somewhere deep inside.
The woman who had a warm word for everyone and a remedy for anything. Her jokes. Her laughter.
Gone.
Perran’s words snap me back into focus. “She saved Lord Bryher’s life. Timo wouldn’t have a father if it weren’t for her. You should be proud.” The Arch Mage reaches out to touch my arm. His large hand is warm, voice gentle. “Your father would have been proud of her, too.”
Tears drop onto my plate with a plink.
My father got his stubbornness from Gee. He went out on an unsanctioned healing mission and never made it back, caught and killed by snatchers. I lost him because of magic.
And now I've lost Gee, too.
“I am sorry, Cassia.” Perran sounds genuine, but his sadness is a distant star, dwarfed by the mammoth burning sun of my own grief. “If you want some time, we can finish talking later.”
A gnawing hole opens in my chest. I clench Lucine’s letter tightly in my fist, my hand shaking.
I bolt up, the chair screeching back behind me. Enough.
“Some time?!” I shout. “How much time can you afford? A day? Two? As long as it’s before the spring equinox, right?"
Perran blinks but remains seated. His falcon ruffles its feathers slightly.
“My answer to your ridiculous request is no. I will not, as a complete novice, infiltrate the Governance by impersonating a noble, who also happens to be my imprisoned friend.” The words sound formal, despite the waver in my voice.
“I wouldn’t be asking if you weren’t our only hope to reestablish the Guild.”
“Find somebody else.” I head for the door.
“There is no one else, Cassia,” Perran calls after me, his voice still composed. “We can’t wait for Timo to come of age. It must be this year. You already know the Bryhers. We’ve no other female night mages the right age. I’d send my own daughter if she could pass as a Bryher…”
I could barely pass as a Bryher. I have brown eyes to Ruri’s pale blue, brunette hair to her jet black, I’m taller, and my tawny-brown skin is darker than her fair complexion. Perran must be desperate.
I wrench the door open, and Kip tumbles into me.
I sidestep him, growling at his obvious eavesdropping, and stride from the room.
Chapter Seven
I storm down the corridor, arms folded across my chest. As I turn a corner, I collide with someone bounding in the opposite direction. Timo stumbles back, catching himself before he falls.
“Cassia! You’re awake!” He crows, beaming up at me. “I was coming to see you.” He frowns, his gaze raking over my tear-stained cheeks. “Are you all right?”
I brush a few tendrils of hair out of my eyes and plaster on a smile. “I’m fine.” I place a hand on his shoulder. “How are you?”
“I’m great.” His eyes shine in the lantern-lit corridor. “I’m learning how to control my fire, even when I’m angry. And there are other children like me, although none of them have used their magic in a real fight like I have.”
I smile at the pride in his voice.
I’m happy to see him so animated. I have to admit, albeit reluctantly, that the Defiance has a knack of making you feel like you’re a part of something bigger than yourself.