Taking my hand in his, he brings it up to his mouth and brushes his lips over my knuckles. My urge is to pull my hand away and I think he knows it, because he holds on tight and lets his mouth linger there while his eyes hold mine in challenge.
Finally, he lets go and pivots away from me. Without another word, he walks out the door. I’m left standing there, stunned over what just happened and having conflicted feelings about it. Before I can process them, though, the door opens up and my mom slips back inside.
She clasps her hands tight over her chest, trying to hold in a smile that she just can’t contain. It breaks, washes over her face and she squeals in excitement.
Then she lunges forward and has her arms around me, hugging me tight. “He wants to sign you, Jos. All our dreams are going to come true.”
I try to embrace her back, but I’m too slow witted and she’s releasing me anyway. She starts backing toward the door and blows me a kiss. “I’m going to go get a late meal with Ian so we can talk details. I’ll tell you all about it later.”
I just stare at her and I’m not sure what my expression holds, but it causes her smile to slide. “Aren’t you excited?”
I get no opportunity to assure her I am because she’s advancing back on me. Her eyes heat and her lips press into a flat line. She puts her hands on my shoulders, squeezes, and puts her face in mine. “You do realize he only represents A-list stars, right? I’m sure you can only imagine what I’ve gone through to get him here to see you, right? You need to sign with him, Joslyn, and you can’t hesitate on this.”
“I will,” I assure her, bringing my hands up to wrap around her wrists. I give her an affectionate squeeze. “I’ll do what you think is best. I’m just overwhelmed.”
Her face softens and she smiles at me again. “Good. Because you know that I only want what’s best for you. Right?”
I nod, smiling back at her with reassurance.
She stares at me, her eyes roaming over my face for perhaps any evidence of a lie within my promise. Satisfied, she kisses me on my cheek before turning gracefully to the door.
“Mom,” I say to get her attention.
She turns back to face me. “Yes, sweetheart?”
“Why don’t you come with us to Cunningham Falls?” I ask her with hope blooming in my chest. I want her with me when we celebrate Dad and what he meant to his community.
“Honey,” she replies with her eyebrows drawing inward as if she doesn’t understand my question. “You know I’m going to New York.”
Yes, a shopping trip that she had planned and booked the day I told her I was doing the concert. I thought she was doing it to punish me for agreeing to the concert and supposedly ruining a meeting she was trying to set up with Ian. But that’s all water under the bridge now.
“It’s a charity benefit,” I remind her. “They’re going to open a new wing of the hospital named after him.”
I don’t have to clarify who “him” is.
That would be my dad, who was a doctor in Cunningham Falls. But not just any doctor. He was the small-town doc who would come to your house if you were too sick to get out of bed. He treated those who couldn’t afford medical care for free, or he’d accept a bucket of huckleberries in return. He was beloved by everyone, most of all me.
My mom’s eyes glisten with welling tears and her voice is small. “It’s just too painful for me to go back, Jos. I hope you understand.”
She doesn’t give me a chance to figure out whether or not I understand, because she’s spinning away and breezing out the door.
I blink in surprise, stunned she’d just leave me in the middle of such an important conversation. We’re talking about my dad... her husband. He died almost two years ago. It was about six months after my album dropped and we had all figured out that it wasn’t going to perform well. I guess the downside to going with a small label with no real marketing power.
Still, through it all, my father always maintained I was going to be a superstar one day. My mom agreed with him, and I know that’s why she works so hard for me. Sometimes I think she blames herself for helping me secure that deal with the label. She sees the failure of the album as her failure, whereas I just see it as a learning lesson. Through all of it, my father was our biggest supporter. He even made my mom promise on his deathbed that she would stick by my side and help me achieve my dreams.
She never hesitated because she loved him and me, and as he was dying, she would have promised him the world.
And yet, she can’t go back to celebrate the memory of such a man.
It makes no sense to me, and she won’t even try to explain her feelings on the matter.
Once again, my dressing room door opens but this time it’s Kynan stepping in. He takes one look at me and his expression darkens. “What happened?”
I force a big smile on my face. “Um... great news. That man was the most sought-after talent agent there is and he wants to sign me.”
Kynan doesn’t smile back. He doesn’t congratulate. He merely questions me. “Then how come you look upset?”
“I’m not—”
“You are,” he says over me. “What’s wrong?”
I shrug but then spill my guts. “I thought maybe my mom would come to Cunningham Falls with us, but she still wants to go to New York for her shopping trip.”
“Maybe it’s too hard on her to go back,” he suggests.
I nod. “That’s what she said.”
“Give her the benefit of the doubt,” he tells me.
I nod again.
Of course I will. I could never question her love for my father. Not when I watched how she took care of him as he died. I need to accept that the way she grieves or honors his memory is not necessarily the way I would.
Chapter 9
Kynan
Joslyn became a different person once we loaded up into the rental SUV and left the airport. The drive into Cunningham Falls only takes about twenty minutes and a good chunk of that time I spent watching Joslyn through the rear-view mirror. She sat in the rear passenger seat behind Jayce. Her forearm was propped just below the window and her forehead rested against the glass. She stared dreamily out at the passing scenery, a tender smile on her face. Her body appeared loose, her posture relaxed, and I’d never seen her so at peace before.
It became glaringly apparent to me in witnessing this transformation that Joslyn bore a lot of stress in her day-to-day life in Vegas.
But now she’s never looked more beautiful, with the late afternoon sun bathing her face in a golden glow and her blue eyes glittering with a recognition of something very personal to her.
I’ve learned a lot about Joslyn, and in turn have learned about her hometown of Cunningham Falls. It’s small, boasting just over six thousand permanent residents, although that number swells during tourist seasons. Cunningham Falls sits at the bottom of Whitetail Mountain, which is renowned for its skiing.
Joslyn told me just last night after her show as we were driving home that when she lived here, she couldn’t wait to get out and explore the big world, and now that she’s been gone, she can’t wait to get back to the quiet.
As we enter the small town with streets bordered by unique and trendy-looking shops, Joslyn starts narrating the trip for Jayce and me.