Fuck… he nailed it.
“Wright wants me to keep it,” I say morosely. “He wants to raise it.”
“Not surprised,” Kynan says dismissively. “He’s a family man through and through.”
“He’s only twenty-six and has the rest of his life in front of him.” My voice sounds so bitter, and I hate it. “Why would he possibly want to ruin it?”
“Rachel,” Kynan chastises, and I cringe over how guilty his tone makes me feel. “You know fucking well babies don’t ruin anything.”
I don’t respond because there’s no need to even voice it. Kynan knows the true source of my fear, and he’s not going to let me pretend otherwise.
Thankfully, he doesn’t pick at the scabs, but comes at me a different way. “You need to be careful, Rachel. It’s not just your life that’s being affected by this. I know the choices you face, and one path will end up devastating one of your teammates. Can you do that?”
I really don’t think I can, but I was sort of hoping Kynan might give me permission to do so anyway. “So I have to give up a part of my life to carry this baby for him?”
“It’s a few months. Big deal.”
“Childbirth is painful,” I say, completely offended that he’d try to diminish this.
“You’ve been through worse,” he counters.
“Yes,” I bite out angrily. “You do know I’ve been through worse.”
Kynan winces slightly, and then has the grace to look semi-chagrined. He knows my worst is really, really bad. “I’m sorry. I know this is scary and the last thing in the world you wanted. But you’re strong, healthy, and even if you don’t want this child, Bodie does. You both made a mistake by not using protection, and he’s apparently stepping up to the plate. Are you going to do the same?”
My entire being deflates when I realize I didn’t even need to come over to Kynan’s to talk this out. I knew what I was going to do, and he just helped me confirm it.
“You know I am,” I say softly.
“That’s my girl,” he praises.
“What does this mean for me with The Jameson Group?” I ask hesitantly. When Kynan’s eyes drop to look at my stomach, I realize I’d been subconsciously rubbing my belly.
Kynan’s eyes drift back to mine. “I don’t know exactly. We’ve never had a pregnant member on staff before. I’ll have Doc McCullough refer you to a good OB/GYN, and you’ll need to see what that doctor says.”
I nod, my mood completely glum over the fact that at some point, I’m going to be out of commission. There’s one thing Kynan is right about. My career is everything to me. It’s what sustains and fulfills me. I have no clue what I’m going to do if I can’t go on operations.
“Don’t even ask me to do secretarial work,” I mutter as I pick my cup back up. I take a sip as Kynan laughs at me.
“The minute you go on inactive status, I’ll have you work on strategic planning with me. I know it’s not getting your hands dirty, but you’ll still be actively involved. Your brain and cunning are probably your best tools to be honest.”
“Damn right I will,” I snap, but I’m secretly relieved to hear him say that. Kynan doesn’t dole out a ton of praise or affirmation, so it’s nice to hear it right now.
Kynan chuckles and shakes his head. “Wow… our first Jameson baby. If it’s a boy, you should name him Jameson. Or Kynan. That would be nice.”
“That’s up to Wright,” I say with a pointed look over the rim of my cup. It’s not going to be something I even need to wrap my head around.
I get a return grin, and it chafes he’s amused at me.
“So,” he says slyly, with a little wink. “You and Wright, huh? Can’t say I saw that one coming.”
“I didn’t see it coming either.” The petulance in my voice makes his chuckle go to a belly laugh. I roll my eyes. “Just stop. I was upset over Joram, had way too much liquor, and well… he was all hot looking and I needed the distraction.”
“Was it good?” he asks. In normal circumstances, I should be offended. Yes, this man is my friend, but he’s also my boss. And he’s asking about a personal intimacy.
But I’m not, because Kynan and I used to be lovers before we settled into a good friendship without benefits. That was long ago, but there was a time I laid in bed with him and spilled secrets. He was by my side during some of my darkest days. While we haven’t been carnal with each other in almost a decade—since I started work at Jameson as a matter of fact—he still has firsthand knowledge of my sex life. We can’t exactly frequent the same sex club without seeing a few things.
“It was good,” I admit, but that’s not the full truth. It was spectacular, and that’s surprising to me. I was totally buzzed from the alcohol and full of seething anger at myself. It should have been hard as hell for anyone to get me off, but damn if Wright didn’t do it in just a few short minutes.
He’d thrown me on the bed and because I’d already been naked, his first move had been to shove his face between my legs. The first touch of his tongue on me and my back arched so high I thought I’d broken it.
Just minutes.
Minutes and a very talented mouth, and I was screaming out the first of three orgasms.
“Your face tells me all I need to know,” Kynan says knowingly.
My face flushes red, and I wonder how long I’d zoned out thinking about that night with Bodie.
Wright.
I need to think of him as Wright.
Just a coworker and a teammate.
“Whatever,” I growl under my breath, but then give Kynan a very bland look. “Like I said, it just happened. It was a onetime thing.”
“If you say so,” he intones in such a way that I know he doesn’t believe me.
“I do say so,” I say firmly.
“I believe you,” he says soberly, but then his lips break into a grin. “No, I don’t. I just saw that look on your face. Whatever Wright gave you that night in addition to a baby blew your fucking mind. You’re going back for more.”
“Am not,” I insist.
“Are too,” he says like a five-year-old.
“He’s too young for me,” I argue.
“You dig that hole deeper, Hart. Keep telling me all the reasons you’re not going to fuck Bodie Wright again, and I’m going to laugh in your face when it happens.”
It won’t, I think stubbornly. No way.
“Just drop it, McGrath,” I tell him. “I’ve got more important things to worry about.”
His expression sobers, and he nods. “Yeah, I know. And I’ve got your back. But just remember… nothing wrong with you and Wright hitting it together.”
I really wish he hadn’t said that.
CHAPTER 3
Bodie
My cell phone rings, and I roll slightly on the couch to nab it from the coffee table. My mom’s pretty round face is on the screen, and I’m smiling when I answer. “And how is the best mom in the entire world doing today?”
Estelle Wright giggles into the phone. Most fifty-year-old women can’t pull giggling off well, but my mom is lit from within by a natural sunny disposition. Practically anything that comes out of her mouth is joyful.