All at once the tension seemed to dissolve. I burst out laughing, and actually put a hand to my face as I began to involuntarily snort like a pig.
“WTH??? Are you serious???” I asked, followed by about a dozen laughter emojis.
“IKR? But I swear, that’s what it looked like to me!”
“GODDDDDDDD,” I texted back, laughing so hard at that point that I had tears in my eyes. “I’m glad I apparently missed that… Thanks for bringing it to my attention :P”
“Haha no problem!” he texted, again with a laughing emoji, then followed up with, “I guess he just takes Casual Friday to the extreme…”
“Lolololol I guess so!” I wrote back, and it felt stupidly excessive even as I sent it. I supposed that it must have indeed been so, as after waiting several minutes I didn’t receive a response to this.
“You’re so dumb,” I muttered to myself, shaking my head. At least I’d averted catastrophe, though, and with that I sighed, certain I wasn’t going to hear any more from him that day, and went back to my bedroom to change into my loungewear, AKA the baggiest, skankiest, and most comfortable pair of pajamas I owned. A few minutes later I returned to the computer, ready to get started on my actual work for the day. Not really expecting much, I reached over and checked my phone again before getting started. And there, lo and behold, was another message from my boss.
“So how have you been holding up through all of this? Things going okay with you?” he asked. A pang of excitement shot through my body, and I quickly had to check myself.
“Come on, don’t get excited Annalise,” I muttered. “He’s probably checking in with everyone like this. It’s completely professional. Don’t start confusing an innocent conversation for something it isn’t.”
“I’m doing OK all things considered,” I wrote back. “I mean it sucks obviously, and I’m going a little bit crazy here alone in my apartment. But it is what it is, there are plenty of people who have it a lot harder out there.”
I sent my reply, then pretended to do a little bit of work until his next message came.
“I hear you. I mean I’m in no position to complain, but I think most people are having a tough time with all this. Do you ever go outside? Like just go on walks or whatever? I started doing that, and it’s been helping me clear my head. The fresh air feels incredible.”
I smiled at this. “I used to go on walks all the time,” I wrote back. “I don’t know why I quit. I guess I just got busy with life, work, all that fun stuff. That’s a really good idea though. I might do that later.”
“Always good to stop and enjoy the simple things :)” he replied. “Plus they say getting fresh air is actually pretty good for you right now. A lot safer than being in enclosed spaces or whatever.”
“Yeah I’ve heard that too :)” I wrote, then felt like I should say something else, though I was unsure of just what. “What about you?” I finally typed. “You sound like you’ve had a lot going on through this whole thing.”
I remembered him saying something about personal issues during the meeting. I didn’t want to expressly pry into this, but I did desperately want to find out what he meant by this.
“If that isn’t the truth,” he wrote, then added, “For the most part I’ve gotten things sorted out, though. And again I’m really grateful to you all for keeping the ship afloat while I’ve been busy. Like I said, overall I don’t have much room to complain about anything. I realize how fortunate I am.”
I laughed to myself, and wrote back with a grin, “I don’t care how rich you are, it ALWAYS feels good to complain.”
He texted back a trio of laugh emojis, and I smiled with satisfaction, imagining that I’d actually made him laugh in real life as well.
“Very true,” he said. Mostly it’s just been the same stuff you describe. Being cooped up in place on my own. No matter where you are, that level of solitude wears you down after a while.”
Immediately that pinged on my radar. I actually gasped at the realization.
“You aren’t living with Alyssa Muenzel???” I started typing, but then stopped myself. I realized just how thirsty, desperate, and rude that would sound, and quickly deleted what I’d written. Instead I sent, “Oh I didn’t know you were living on your own. Sucks, doesn’t it?”
I read it to myself several times before sending out the message. I thought it struck just the right tone, just casual and detached enough not to give away my secret longing for him, but also not too casually indifferent for me to be able to mine for more information.
“Eh, yes and no,” he wrote back. “It depends on what you’re comparing it to.”
I had to think about this for a second, but thankfully he elucidated the issue for me.
“My before situation was actually more stressful than the after,” he added.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” I wrote.
I was not at all sorry to hear that. Instead my heart was beating fast again, and once more I allowed my fantasies to run dangerously wild.
Mrs. Annalise Finch… That has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?
Feminist that I am, I probably would have insisted on keeping my own name had I wound up getting married to Dennis (a shudder ran through me at the thought.) This man, though? I would gladly take his name any old day of the week…
“I don’t want to trivialize this whole situation or anything, but in my case it might have almost turned out to be a blessing. Before I kept myself so busy at the office, wrapped up with work. Then all of the sudden I found myself stuck at home 24/7, under the same roof with my fiancée… It kind of opened my eyes to just how toxic and unsalvageable our relationship had become.”
“Ouch,” I wrote, though guiltily overjoyed at this once again. “That sounds rough.”
“Eh, like you said, it is what it is. Was what it was. However you want to put it. I needed to wake up to it sooner or later. The two of us were just constantly at each other’s throats during quarantine. And of course both of us have our own points of view about what went wrong, and I won’t get into that part of it. All the same, it was beyond clear that something had gone seriously wrong with us. Alyssa wasn’t happy about it, but I decided it was time to stop pretending.”
“And was it the right decision?” I asked, still struggling not to let my excitement show through.
“I think so,” he wrote back. “In any case, I feel a lot happier than I had for a very long time. So I figure that must be a good sign, right?”
“I think so :)” I parroted back to him.
“Like you said, the solitude has its ups and downs. But all in all I think it was the right decision.”
“I’m glad to hear you’re feeling better about the situation :)” I wrote, actually smiling as I sent the message.
“Thank you :)” he wrote. “I guess there are times when change is for the best. Anyway, it’s been nice catching up with you, Annalise. It’s been a while since we’ve spoken. I’ll let you get back to your day now. Take care!”
“You too!” I wrote, and the butterflies in my belly didn’t settle for some time after I switched off my phone.