That was something. It was relaxing - Stella was tense at the beginning but she quickly let her guard down when the food arrived. It was fun - I loved the different expressions she made as she was blown away by the food. It was the first real conversation we ever had, a step up from the after-work chats we normally have that are mostly recaps of the day or comments on the weather, the news or how we both need to get some rest. It was a revelation.
I've already learned a few things about Stella from reading her journal, but learning them straight from her has a stronger impact. It's like the difference between reading the manual on how to use a machine and having someone demonstrate it for you. I got to see the real Stella. In the flesh. And she was a hundred times more fascinating, more stirring.
If I wanted to hug her after reading her journal, the urge was a hundred times stronger during dinner. When I saw her amber eyes glossed over with tears she was trying to fight back after seeing those pot stickers, I wanted to go to her side and pull her into my arms. I wanted to stroke her hair as I let her cry against my chest and then wipe the tear stains from her cheeks when she was done.
Even now, I want to wrap my arms around her. I want to make sure nothing disrupts her sleep. I want to keep the nightmares at bay. I want her to know she's not alone, to feel she's not alone.
She said she no longer has anyone. I want to be there for her. It may not be right for us to be lovers, I might not be allowed to be her boyfriend, but I can be her friend. I can be her boss and still be her friend. I can look after her, keep her from working too hard, support her when she feels she's starting to unravel, listen to her ideas and dreams so that she won't feel the need to write them down, treat her to good food, travel with her.
I want to take care of her because she deserves that. Everyone does, but Stella most of all because she puts everything and everyone ahead of herself. I want to make sure she never has to suffer in silence.
I take a strand of her hair that has escaped from her bun and tuck it gently behind her ear. My fingertips brush against her cheeks and the corners of her mouth turn up to form a smile.
My heart stops. This smile is exactly what I'm determined to protect. This rare look of peace and contentment is what I want to preserve at all costs.
I, too, smile.
Sleep well, Stella. Everything will be alright. I've got you now.
~
The plane lands in Zurich at around eight in the morning. Stella wakes up shortly before then, looking refreshed but surprised when she sees that the sun is already out. I have to remind her of the difference in time zones. Even if it seems like she slept for ten hours, she only actually slept for four. As for me, I was barely able to catch an hour's worth of sleep, so once we get to the hotel, I go straight to bed. My first meeting is in the afternoon, so I have time to catch some winks.
After I wake up, I shave, take a shower and then work a bit before changing. I've just put on my pants when I hear a knock on the door.
My eyebrows furrow. Room service? I didn't hear them say so.
"Who is it?" I ask.
"Stella, sir," the reply comes from the other side of the door.
Of course it is. She's probably ready to go.
"Give me a sec," I say as I put on my belt.
Then I open the door. Stella is ready to go. She's already in her navy blue two-piece outfit and black heels. Her hair is tied in a neat braid, her lips painted the same shade of pink as a flamingo's feathers. The light, flowery scent of her perfume wafts into my nostrils.
"I thought jet lag would have at least some effect on you," I tell her. "I guess I was wrong."
She doesn't look at all like she just flew in from another continent hours ago.
She blushes. "Thank you."
I step back. "Please come in."
Stella hesitates a moment, maybe because this time she's stepping into my bedroom and not just my office. In fact, she looks more wary than usual, maybe because she's afraid she already crossed a line last night. But she straightens her shoulders and steps over the threshold.
Good girl.
I close the door. "Have you eaten anything?"
"I got hungry so I ordered something from room service before I had a shower," Stella answers.
"I actually thought you were room service," I tell her. "I was going to say I'm not hungry. I usually don't have an appetite for hours after I land. I'll just grab a bite to eat later after the meeting."
"About that..." Stella draws a breath. "I'm afraid the meeting has been canceled."
I narrow my eyes at her. "Canceled?"
She nods. "Mr. Odermatt sends his apologies and regrets but some urgent personal matter came up on his schedule and he'll be seeing you tomorrow instead when you visit the company headquarters."
Personal matter, or is he having second thoughts about selling his company? He'd better not be. At any rate, I'll find out exactly what his thoughts are tomorrow. Until then, there's no use speculating or worrying about them.
"Then it seems we have the rest of the day free," I say to Stella as I sit down on the divan. "You can go back to your room and rest."
As for me, I might just get back to work. I don't think I'll be able to go back to sleep anyway.
Stella touches her chin. "Actually, I was thinking of leaving the hotel and doing some sightseeing since I've already finished my work. I made a list of the places I wanted to visit in case I had some time. But of course, if you'd rather have me stay here in case you have something for me to do..."
"Go," I tell her. "It's your first time in Zurich, right?"
Besides, how I can tell her to stay when she clearly wants to go out there? The excitement is written all over her face.
Stella nods. "It's my first time in a European city, actually."
"Then go. Explore. Take in the sights, the smells, the sounds, the tastes. You're free to do whatever you like. And Zurich is a very safe city, so you don't have to worry about getting mugged in an alley or anything like that."
"Yup." She gives me a wide smile. "Don't worry about me. I'll be fine on my own."
Her words make me pause. Fine on her own? Didn't I say I wouldn't leave her on her own? That I wouldn't make her feel alone?
"I'll be off, then. If you need anything, you can just..."
I stand up. "I'm coming with you."
Stella's eyes grow wide.
"I just need to answer to a few emails, but then - "
"No!" Stella protests emphatically, taking me by surprise.
She seems surprised by it, too, because she falls silent afterward. Then she clears her throat.
"I mean, you don't have to... sir. I'll be fine."
"Maybe." In fact, I'm sure she will be. "But my German is better than yours. No offense."
"I'll make do," she insists. "I'm sure you're tired."
I shrug. "I could use some fresh air."
"And you have a lot of work to do."
"Not that much. I actually got a lot done on the plane."
I don't really understand why she's arguing with me. Can it be that she doesn't want my company? Is it because I was asking her a lot of personal questions last night? Did I make her uncomfortable?