I was stiff at first, afraid to let go of my guards, but then I sank into him, pressing my face into his neck. I let my arms go around his waist and held on.
“You’re trembling,” he whispered into my hair, holding me tighter. “Did something happen?”
I shook my head, still unable to answer. Nothing had happened…today. But things had happened in the past, in the not too distant past. He might regret marrying me if he knew. He picked me because I was the perfect woman and because I was calm and in control. He didn’t need to know how weak I was inside.
I held on tighter to him. His hand soothed up and down my back. He made me feel better. The fear faded away, replaced instead by the tingling knowledge that I was near naked and that the person I wanted to touch me was holding me.
I liked his touch. I wanted more of it.
I came to a decision swiftly, although I couldn’t lie to myself, I had been thinking about it for a long time. I pulled back so I could see his face.
“Better?”
I nodded, but I had my words again. So, I used them to tell him what I believed was the best path. “We should sleep together.”
He took a step back. “Excuse me?”
I squared my shoulders. “Let’s be honest with each other, Will. We’re married. We’re supposed to act to the world as if we’re madly in love, but we barely know each other. Sex would increase our intimacy and make the performance of being in love better.”
He tilted his head and grimaced. “You want to fuck to be a better actress.”
I didn’t like that word. I didn’t mean it like that. “No. I think we should sleep together because it makes sense. This isn’t really a fake marriage. It’s real. We’re married. Sex comes with marriage. We should get it over with.”
His eyebrows rose, and he crossed his arms. “Oh, I see. Because sex with me is a chore to check off a list.”
“No!” Everything was coming out wrong, and this wasn’t like me. I crossed my own arms and fixed him with a business-like glare. “I’m attracted to you. You know you are a handsome, compelling man.”
“Thank you for the compliment, wife.”
I ignored his gloating. “It’s been a long time since I have had intimate relations with a man, and since we’re married, the most logical course of action is to have sex.”
“Logical, is it?” He smirked at me.
The bastard. He was teasing me. “You’re attracted to me, too. You couldn’t have kissed me the way you did if you weren’t.”
“Maybe I’m just that good a kisser.”
“Are you saying you don’t want to have sex with me?”
His smirk fell off his face, and his eyes skittered away from mine. He stared out the window instead. “It might not be wise to take it that far. This is a business arrangement, after all.”
Now I was mad. Business arrangement? I flicked the knot of my towel and let it fall to the floor. At the movement, he turned back to me and gaped.
“Birdie…”
For a moment, he just stared, and I began to worry that this had been a huge mistake. I got ready to turn and run, but he let out a shaky breath. His hands clenched and unclenched, and I realized he was trying to restrain himself.
But why? He didn’t have to. I was offering it to him. He certainly had never worried about restraint with any of the other women he was rumored to have been with. There had been so many women. Everyone knew.
“It’s just sex, Will.”
“We’re married.”
He said it like that made it more important, like it was somehow more real. I couldn’t really disagree with him, but I wanted him so badly. I needed him. Maybe it was because he was my husband. Maybe it was because that made it not just a business arrangement to me. I had miscalculated. He was my husband. He was mine. I wanted to take possession of his body. I wanted to claim him.
But I couldn’t let him know that this was something more than a business arrangement for me now. I smiled coolly. “It’s been a long time for me, and now you’re here. And you’re attractive. I know that you’re used to getting regular sex, but you’re not going to be able to go out and pick up women the way you used to. So, I am your best option. Like I said, it makes sense.”
“That’s what Suzanne said.” He sounded pissed.
“It’s just sex,” I repeated and then closed the distance between us. “I liked when you kissed me, Will. Will you do it again? This time not for the cameras?”
His breath left him in a rush, and he gathered me up against him, pressing my still damp body against his chest. He wrapped his large hand around the back of my neck and tilted my head so he could take my mouth with his.
At last!
A whimper broke free from my throat, and I clung to him. His lips made me melt. His tongue made me dizzy. His teeth sent thrills of sensation through my body. His lips trailed across my jaw, and I threw my head back, giving him access to my neck.
“I want you so much,” he murmured into my skin.
“You can have me.”
He growled low in his throat, and his lips left my skin. Before I could complain about that, he bent down and swept me into his arms and carried me back into his room, slamming the door closed behind him with his foot. He lay me down on his wide bed and covered my body with his before kissing me again.
I could not get enough of his kisses and the heat of them. The tenderness of his lips drove me mad. He molded me to him. He made me his with those kisses. He began to slide lower down my body, the fiery trail of kisses sending sensation through my whole body, head to toes.
“Wait,” I gasped. He lifted off of me on his arms and looked at me, concerned.
“Do you want me to stop?”
I laughed. “No. I want you to take off your clothes. I want to see you. I want your skin against mine.”
He laughed, too. “Oh. I see. I wouldn’t want to deny my wife what she wants.” He climbed off the bed and undid his tie, tossing it and his jacket across the room before starting on his shirt buttons. Then, he froze and just stared at me.
“What? What’s the matter?”
He huffed a breath. “Nothing. I just didn’t realize how beautiful you would be.” His eyes swept up and down my body hungrily. “You are perfect. Let your hair out. I want to see it spread out on my bed.”
I nodded. “Take off your shirt first.”
Buttons popped as he ripped it off and threw it to the ground. “Now you.”
I didn’t bother any preamble, just pulled off the hairband and unwound the knot on top of my head, combing my fingers through it so that it spread out on the dark gray linens.
“Like fire,” he whispered harshly.
“I have nothing else to remove, Will. Take your clothes off so that I can see you.”
He nodded and kicked out of his shoes and stripped off his pants and underwear so fast that I was amazed. Then, he stood and looked at me again, breathing heavily. He was impressive. His shoulders were broad, which I already knew, but his chest was sculpted perfectly and tapered into his narrow waist. His erection stood proud and large and ready.
“Come,” I said and reached out my hand for him. “I want to feel you.”
He climbed onto the bed, and I pulled him to me, pressed against him from shoulder to hip, and felt his hardness against my softness. I sighed. “Kiss me.”