Nathan was frowning, his eyes glassy, and ever so slowly his hand crept across the bar towards her. She watched it happen. His hand was faintly scarred. She didn’t doubt he’d been in a scrap or two. His fingers were thick and rough-looking. He looked like somebody who fixed things.
When his hand covered hers, she sighed.
“Doesn’t sound funny,” he murmured. She couldn’t think of any response to that and only sipped her drink with her free hand. It felt too good to let his hand hold hers, even if there was nothing there behind it. It was the kindest touch she’d felt in too long as his thumb gently caressed her knuckles.
“Let me fix something for you,” he whispered. “I’m good at fixing things.”
She pulled her hand away finally and sat up straight. “I don’t think your handyman skills extend that far, but thanks for the offer.”
“Dang,” he said, looking disappointed. Then he shrugged and let out a deep sigh. “Well, my brother would kill me anyway.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, he’s always saying we’re not allowed to get involved with lodge guests.” He cracked a smile at that.
“How often do you and your brothers follow that rule?”
He raised his hands in surrender. “I’m just saying a lot of beautiful women stay here and some of them are single.” He gestured towards her and said, “Case in point.”
“Ah…” She ducked her head. “Please. It’s just the cashmere.”
“Are you kidding?” Nathan said. “You’re gorgeous.”
“So are you,” she said. She was feeling buzzed and pleasant in his company, or she might not have said it. But she watched a slow smile spread across his face and she risked a small smile back.
“It’s the sweater,” he said, whispering as if it was a secret.
No, it’s not, she thought.
“Let me help you.” He was serious again suddenly, leaning toward her and gazing at her with his warm blue eyes.
“No,” she murmured. “I can’t.”
“Then...let me show you something?”
“Show me what?” she said warily.
“Something you always wanted,” he said, picking up his glass. “Get your drink and follow me. C’mon. Don’t worry.”
I have to be getting back, Alanna thought but it seemed impossible not to let Nathan take her hand and lead her back through the dining table and around a corner and down a long hallway that led off to meeting rooms and banquet halls for guest events.
It was getting late and there weren’t many guests walking around. Everything was quiet and it made the lodge feel mysterious.
There was a ticking clock in Alanna’s head as she followed Nathan. Eventually, John would come looking for her. But Nathan’s hand was warm in hers and she didn’t want to let go.
He led her to a hall that was locked until he slipped in his universal key card and led them inside. She hadn’t expected anything really and the room was dark but for the moonlight shining through the curtained windows, but when Nathan flipped on some lights from a small cabinet near the door, she gasped.
“It’s a ballroom,” she whispered. “Cinderella should be so lucky.”
The room was like a cathedral, with a high vaulted ceiling from which chandeliers hung, now sending little white lights dancing across the expanse of checkered hardwood floor. Glass icicles dangled from them like teardrops as they rotated slowly.
“This ballroom was here before,” Nathan said, sighing. He took her hand and led her across the floor. There were white marble statues of dancing figures in the corner. It looked like a ballroom from a king’s castle in a fairy tale. “But it was pretty run down when we brought it. Conner restored it to its former glory. Now everybody wants to get married here.”
“I would,” Alanna whispered.
Nathan crossed the floor and disappeared through a door behind the stage and a minute later music began to play through unseen speakers. It was old-fashioned music for dancing, something her grandparents would’ve liked but it went with the dancing lights that looked like shining stars and when Nathan returned, he took her hands in his.
“Why did you bring me here?” she said. He was leading her into a dance and she hadn’t felt butterflies around a man in so long she had almost forgotten what it felt like. But as he wrapped an arm around her waist and began to sway, she started to remember.
“You said you used to watch the happy couples through the glass,” he whispered. “Thought I’d show you the other side of it. Dance with me?”
Alanna swallowed and prayed that John wouldn’t come looking for her before she went back. She let Nathan take her hand and leaned her head on his shoulder as he led them in a slow, swaying dance around the ballroom.
She let her eyes slip shut and melted into him. As big and broad as Nathan was, he was soft in his sweater and his arms held her gently instead of grabbing for her.
“You really are good at fixing things,” she murmured.
“What did I fix?” he rested his chin atop her head. They fit together like puzzle pieces in her mind.
“Something I didn’t know was broken,” she said. She followed his steps, turning with him, and felt like she was floating as he held her. “I like this music.”
He chuckled and it made her feel warm all over. She bet the sound of his laugh could fix things too. “This music’s for old people,” he said.
“That’s my favorite kind.”
“Alanna,” Nathan whispered. “Let me help you.”
“I have to go.” Alanna was teary as she broke away from him. It all felt too good, his hands and his arm and the scent of him and the way he’d laughed into her neck. “Thank you for...all this. I have to go.”
“Let me take you out sometime,” he said quickly. “Please.”
She shook her head and looked down at the brand new boots she was wearing, that Rawley had bought her. “I can’t. I’m sorry.”
If she was Cinderella, it was midnight. She felt as if her cashmere was about to turn into pumpkin puree.
“Why not?” Nathan said. “Whatever it is—”
“Why would you want to?” she said, shaking her head. The moonlight made Nathan’s eyes glimmer. But he only seemed sad as he looked at her. “Really, why would you want to spend time with me at all? I’ve got nothing, I’m nobody.”
“Because you looked through the glass,” Nathan said. “And I was on the other side, but I never felt like it. That’s why I ran away. I was always in the room with the lights and the happy couples. But I always felt like I was on the outside looking in. Like you.”
“Then why did you come back?”
“Because I realized the glass isn’t real,” he laughed, seemingly at himself. “That probably sounds stupid. Anyway, I like talking to you. That’s all. I don’t remember the last time I liked talking to somebody so much.” He walked up to her and she breathed as he cradled her cheek in his palm. She leaned into it. Just this one touch, she thought. She could take it with her and think about it when Rawley took her away. “I like talking to you,” he said again, his breath hot on her skin, he stood so close. “And you smell good. And you understand the wild. And your mouth…” He rubbed his thumb along her bottom lip and it felt so good, she had to break away.