Since I’m hooked on social media, I check her channel to see if she has a new video. I’m not surprised that the event at the museum was a success. She’s extremely talented. The daughter of one of the most famous sculptors in the world—Lydia Rivera—and an expert chocolatier, Valentin Lavigne. Though she still dabbles in other kinds of arts, Atzi’s best work is with chocolate.
Her fans adore her. She’s funny and bright. Just seeing her face is enough to make my stomach flip. One of these days, I’ll stop being hopelessly in love with her.
Once I’m done pining for my best friend, I send her a link to a silly sketch I saved earlier today because I know she’ll think it’s hilarious.
She starts typing back almost immediately, like she’s been waiting for me even though it’s nearly 4 a.m. I wonder if she just woke up or if she never went to sleep. She believes in baker’s hours. It gives her enough time to get everything done by the end of the day.
Atzi: Yo, shouldn’t you be at home?
Heath: I have two more hours to go, and then I’ll be free for five days. Shouldn’t you be asleep?
Atzi: Sleep is for the weak.
Heath: I agree. What’s on the agenda for the day?
Atzi: Well, you should come by the shop this morning. I have things for you to taste test.
I smile at the text and then sigh. I lean my head back on the armchair and let my eyes drift closed for a moment before responding.
Heath: I’ll probably go home and crash. I don’t think I have it in me this morning, sorry. Still okay to do movie night tonight, though, if you are.
We have a standing date every Thursday to watch a movie at my place. However, it’s been less consistent in the past few months as Atzi has taken on the full mantle of her chocolate business, and I’ve been buried in my resident duties at the hospital.
Soon though, I’ll be getting word about the fellowships I applied for, which will either result in a more regular schedule or a similar shit show. Both options are far from her, and the end of our impromptu reunions and standing dates.
The fellowship will take me clear across the country to New York City or Baltimore. On any given day, I feel differently about my options. Sometimes, I can’t imagine leaving my family and Atzi behind for the East Coast, but other days I think about what a fresh start could mean to me.
Maybe I could finally let go of my feelings for Atzi and date other people. But then again, would I ever want someone the way I want Atzi?
Atzi: Fine, go to sleep. I’ll bring everything tonight since I want an honest opinion on those new coconut chocolates you suggested.
Heath: You might become my favorite.
Heath: But only if they’re good.
Atzi: I think they’re great, as is everything I do. :wink emoji:
Her comment takes me to a place where I forbid myself to be—my bed with her naked. I think she was fourteen the first time I wanted to kiss her. A year later, when I turned sixteen, I couldn’t think of anything else but making her mine.
Since then, I’ve been fighting the lust. Fourteen years of trying my damn best to get over her, and I can’t say I’ve made any progress. Someone should give me a fucking medal because so far, I haven’t even kissed her.
Move on, Spearman.
Because I have to start purging her out of my system, I don’t continue the conversation. Instead, I like the message with a quick double tap and then put my phone back in my pocket.
I’m just getting up out of the chair to pour myself more coffee when I hear my name on the speaker. “Dr. Spearman, please come to the nurses’ station. Dr. Spearman.”
I put my mug down, hoping it’s not an emergency. Couldn’t they call someone else? I wish there was a choice. Unwilling to abandon fresh coffee, I rifle around in the cabinet until I find a travel cup someone else left behind and pour coffee into it. The hospital swallows me back up eagerly for the next two hours.
I know I made the right decision not to prolong the day when I do finally leave the hospital. I’m so exhausted that I call Owen, Gatsby’s driver, to take me home. And maybe I should rethink my plans for the future. What am I going to do without my family?
As Owen takes me home, I check my phone, finding an alarming text from Benedict.
Ben: I’m fucked.
Heath: Did you sleep with a married woman, and the husband caught you?
Ben: Finally. I thought you were dead. I texted you hours ago.
Heath: One hour, but who’s counting? Are you going to tell me what happened?
Ben: Something worse than finding out I slept with a married woman.
Heath: What can be worse than that?
Ben: She’s pregnant.
Heath: Is it yours?
Ben: She doesn’t know, and refuses to take a DNA test. On the bright side, she’s due in ten weeks. I should learn my fate by then.
Heath: Explain to her that it’s safe to take a DNA test while the embryo develops.
Ben: I already did. She refuses to do it. If all goes well and her husband is the father, she won’t lose everything.
Ben: And I won’t lose my sleep.
Heath: If it’s yours?
Ben: I don’t know. Babies are not part of my five-year plan—or in any plan.
Heath: Good luck. I’m here for you.
Ben: I appreciate it.
Chapter Six
Atzi
“You never leave that place anymore,” Cory complains when I answer her video call. “You might as well move in. You just need to set up a bed next to the industrial refrigerator.”
I throw her a smile from where I’m finishing off some decorations that look like delicate chocolate wings that will sit atop some truly delightful brownies I recently perfected.
“Please tell me you’ll come to Paradise Bay this weekend. You could bring my brother along.”
I glance at her, narrowing my gaze. “Why do I want to be there?”
“To meet people, of course.”
“I meet lots of people,” I say. This argument is old and well-trod between us. “The shop has dozens of people in and out every day.”
“You know what I mean,” she says. “You haven’t found the guy and your grandmother is coming soon.”
I blow a stray hair out of my face and glare at her. “I don’t need you to remind me of that. I should hire an actor. LA is not far from here.”
“Come clean,” she suggests. Cory knows, to some extent, the lie I told my abuelita—but not the whole truth. “How bad can it be?”