“Let me go,” she said to him again. He just ignored her as he moved toward his truck and opened the passenger door.
“I need to make sure you get home safely,” he said as he held out a hand, indicating he wanted her to get in.
“I’m not your responsibility,” she said, her anger rising.
She was thrilled at the anger. It was so much better than the constant emotional pain she’d been feeling since the attack. But as soon as it engulfed her, it fizzled back out, leaving her feeling even more empty than she’d felt before.
He didn’t say anything more to her, just waited. And Lindsey was suddenly too tired to keep fighting this man. She climbed into his truck and sat down, her body pressed against the side of the door as soon as he shut it.
Maverick tried talking to her more on the drive back to her place, but she didn’t respond. The day had been too exhausting and she had nothing left in her.
When they reached her apartment, she didn’t even question the fact that he knew where she lived. It had been nearly a year since Stormy’s wedding to Maverick’s brother Cooper.
Lindsey had fallen hard for Maverick and had spent an amazingly passionate night making love to the man. He could really make love like nobody’s business. It had been the greatest night of her life. But she’d known in the morning that it couldn’t continue.
Stormy was like a sister to her and Lindsey would see Maverick at too many social gatherings for them to have a casual affair or, even worse, get in a relationship that could end very badly.
So even though the man had pursued her, she’d resisted. Now, she didn’t want anyone in her life—ever again.
“Lindsey—”
“Please just respect me enough to leave me alone,” Lindsey told him as they reached her front door.
A flash of different emotions ran through Maverick’s eyes, but Lindsey was relieved when resignation settled on his face.
“I’ll give you some time. But I know you need me. I’ll be back.”
He stood there as she entered her empty apartment and shut the door. She leaned against the door as his footsteps retreated. Lindsey sank to the floor as the day settled in on her, and she wept into her hands.
Time would do nothing for her. Lindsey didn’t think there was anything that would ever sew up the wounds in her soul—not even Maverick Armstrong.
CHAPTER TWO
One year later
Lindsey knew she needed to move. She couldn’t allow fear to define her. But even knowing this, she sat in the bright window seat as the sun continued to rise higher in the sky, its piercing summer rays mocking her dark mood.
Soon she would find joy in life again. She’d had plenty of time to recover, but the thought of just going on as if nothing had ever happened didn’t appeal at all. She wasn’t yet ready to face the real world. Heck, she could barely face the guesthouse and the hospital she dreaded going to. Even after a year had passed, each night before bed she roamed the small cottage triple checking that all the locks were securely in place before she attempted to fall asleep. The lights were never turned off.
She wanted—needed—to feel normal again, but she wasn’t quite sure how she was supposed to accomplish that. Trusting people and venturing back out was something she knew she needed to do, but she couldn’t quite manage to talk herself into living life normally again.
There was a knock on her door before she heard the key in the lock and then watched as the knob turned. Even though she knew it was Stormy, since she was the only other person to have a key to the cottage, her heart still thundered as she watched her barrier against the world begin to push open.
“I have donuts, coffee, and homemade granola bars just to add a healthy kick to the meal,” Stormy said as she walked into the room carrying a tray.
Her heart still thundering, Lindsey gave her best friend a smile, or at least the shadow of a smile, which she hoped was at least somewhat convincing. She slowly began to calm down.
“Thanks, Stormy. You know you don’t need to keep waiting on me hand and foot,” Lindsey told her as she accepted the cup of coffee and curled her legs up under her on the window seat.
“Showing up with snacks isn’t waiting on you. It’s being a good friend,” Stormy assured her as she settled on the next cushion.
“Well, you do bring good snacks, but I feel bad when I take you away from the baby so much,” Lindsey said with a sigh.
“I love having you here, and you never take away time from my family because you are a part of it,” Stormy told her. “And I’m trying to give you space. You know I would much rather you stayed in the main house, but at least you’re close enough that I can sleep at night,” Stormy continued as she reached out to pat her hand.
Without meaning to, Lindsey flinched back, instantly feeling terrible when her best friend’s eyes shone with hurt, yet understanding.
“I’m sorry,” Lindsey mumbled.
“Don’t apologize. I get it,” Stormy said.
But the reality was that no one could understand what she was going through. Not even another victim of assault. Each woman’s experience was unique. Lindsey considered herself a strong person, but since the attack, she couldn’t stand to be touched.
Lindsey didn’t say anything else to assure Stormy she was okay, because what else could she say? Nothing.
“Are you feeling okay today? You seem a bit paler than normal,” Stormy said, but this time she didn’t reach for her, thankfully.
“I’m fine. I promise,” she said, a bit too loudly and with false enthusiasm. She winced at the patient look on her best friend’s face.
“We should make your doctor’s appointment. Last week you said your side was hurting,” Stormy said, and Lindsey could see her friend’s fingers twitching as if she wanted to reach out again.
“I don’t want anyone looking at it anymore. Even the doctor looking at the ugly scars . . . I hate it,” she said more quietly as she set down her mug on the tray and got up, pacing the room.
“I just need to do something—anything,” Stormy said.
“No. Please just drop it, Stormy,” Lindsey begged.
“Lins, it’s just me. I’ve seen the scar, and it doesn’t take away even an ounce of your beauty. You’re the strongest woman I’ve ever known. Those marks just prove what a survivor you are,” Stormy said, but she stayed where she was and allowed Lindsey time to try to get her breath.
“Stormy, it hurts for me to even look in a mirror,” she admitted.
It wasn’t easy for her to say. Really, the scaring wasn’t that bad. She was a nurse; she’d seen far worse. The biggest one was about four inches long and less than a quarter inch wide. Then there were a few smaller scrapes near it, but the doctor had done a great job. The problem was that she knew they were there, and they were a reminder of what had happened. Every time she was reminded, she found panic once again choking her.
“Lins, I’m not just saying kind words to hear myself talk. You honestly are beautiful inside and out. And strong—so very strong. If the roles were reversed, I guarantee you, I wouldn’t have made it out of that room alive.”
Lindsey looked at her best friend and saw the truth shining from her eyes, but it didn’t matter. No matter how many times she was assured the world was still spinning, it didn’t help her feel okay. She was beginning to feel that nothing would ever be okay again.