“Give me a chance, sweetheart. Give me one night to prove to you that I’m a good bet and I swear you won’t regret it. What’s the worst that can happen? We spend one night giving each other mutual pleasure, and if you don’t want more, I’ll disappear.”
I shouldn’t. This is all wrong and way too risky to even contemplate, but instead of turning away and leaving the blonde bad boy in my dust, I find myself placing my hand in his and following him, my entire body caught in the thrall of the promise shining in those blue eyes.
I can’t say why I do it, only that I can’t resist the chance to do something I’ve never done before. I’m always busy, aware of what I need to do to achieve my goals, and always conscious of never doing anything that in any way detracts from my calm, orderly existence.
I get in his car and let him take me away because I want one night, maybe more if I’m lucky, to collect on the promise in those eyes and experience every thrill I’ve denied myself.
“Trust me, sweetheart. I’ll give you what you need.”
Famous last words, I think, staring into his eyes, as he leans forward to seal his mouth over mine.
Chapter One
Shaw
“You can’t stay here no more Shaw! I’m not putting up with your shit and looking after your bastard brat. You have tonight to get yourself sorted out and then I want you gone.”
My stomach roils as my mother’s words wash over me, and I swallow back tears, closing my eyes against the hopeless dread that’s settled into my bones since I’d found out I’m pregnant and alone.
Robert, the father of my child and the asshole I’d fallen for and trusted to be here for me, has of course vanished and left me holding the bag. Our one night together had not materialized the night we’d met because though I’d been half insane with need by the time we’d reached his hotel and ready to do something I’d never have contemplated, it turned out the guy was a gentleman.
He’d taken me to a late dinner and spoken to me about everything and anything, from my studies to my plans for the next year. I’d learned a lot about him, too. Or so I’d thought when he’d told me about his job and family and the brother he hated more than anything in the world.
The next day he called me while I moved from my dorm—amid death stares from a still peeved Linda—and then we’d had dinner again and spent the night unpacking my boxes and setting up my ancient TV.
I’d spent a week falling for him before falling into bed with him, my only thought for the pleasure we’d share and the closeness that would come from giving him my virginity.
I’d woken the next morning alone, and I’ve been alone since, having long ago accepted that Rob was one of those guys who used his charm to get what he wanted before leaving to get to the next conquest.
I’d been okay after a week of cursing him to hell and back because I had plans and I would never let something as silly as a broken heart ruin what I spent years working for.
And then I’d found out the one thing that had the power to mess with every well-laid plan I’d made.
I’m knocked up. Bun in the oven. Joey in the pouch.
Not the end of the world, right?
Wrong!
I’d been asked to leave the internship—yeah I got it!—after I’d puked all over a T-Rex fossil that had cost the museum more than I’ll make in a lifetime of hard labor, and with the economy the way it is, I’d been forced to give up my apartment and move back home.
That artery’s been looking great lately.
I have no money but for the seventy bucks in my account, and now, now the woman who gave birth to me is kicking me out.
“Mom, please I—”
“No. This isn’t no charity house, and I’m not letting Earl waste his hard-earned money supporting you and your kid. Call Alec, he’ll help you,” she mutters from her perch at the kitchen table, her cigarette dangling from her pursed lips.
“You know he can’t help even if he wanted to. He’s at school.”
Tulane to be exact and miles away from New York. I wouldn’t call him even if I wanted to, because even with as much trouble as I am in now, I would never allow my brother to give up his scholarship to save my stupid ass.
He’d worked hard to earn that scholarship and even harder to keep himself fed and clothed when Mom had refused to help him out with start-up money to get there.
Alec is and always will be my number one guy, and no matter what, I won’t let him know what’s going on because the fool would drop everything and get a dead-end job to fix my mistakes.
“Well, you’d better find someone who will ‘cause you have tonight. And then I’m going to start throwing your stuff out onto the street,” she growls, coughing and wheezing through a cloud of smoke.
I know why she’s doing this and it’s got nothing to do with Earl because, ironically, Earl and I get along great. He likes me and treats me like the kid he never had. It’s Mom’s jealousy that’s the problem.
“Fine. I’ll be out tomorrow morning.”
***
“Here, darlin’. Take this.”
I’m almost sick with terror when I stand at the front door, as Earl reaches into his pocket and glances around, checking for Mom, before shoving a roll of cash my way.
“Earl I—”
“Now don’t argue, darlin’. It’s only a hundred, what I could sneak out of my sock drawer before the wicked witch could catch me, but it’s enough to keep you fed for a bit. Take it. Please.”
I take it, not only because he feels bad about what’s happening and I don’t want to make him feel worse, but also because I have no other choice. Pride won’t keep me fed and off the streets, no matter how I wish it would.
I need this money. I need a job. I need a place to stay. And I need to find a way to contact Robert Stone so that my kid can have more to look forward to than social welfare and a crappy start in life.
“Thanks, Earl,” I say in a choked whisper. “And thanks for taking some of my stuff to storage. I’ll come back and get it as soon as I can.”
“No worries, darling. Now you remember what I said and go find that man. I’m sure once he knows about the sprout, he won’t leave the mother of his child out on the streets.”
I hold back the snort that threatens to escape and kiss him on the cheek before dragging my bags out onto the porch and starting down the road. No money means no cab, and it’s a long way to the subway from Mom’s crappy little shoe box.
It starts drizzling about halfway to my destination, and I groan at the thought of going to St. Mary’s Shelter for Women in this state.
I look bad, like really bad, since I’ve been sick most days and have lost a considerable amount of weight. Ironically, all of my clothes are too big for me, and I envision never having to buy any maternity gear if this keeps up.
First time in my life that I’ve been bordering on skinny, and it’s not from a diet or any real effort on my part.
I take the train all the way to the middle of downtown and then grab a bus. When I get to St. Mary’s, I get lucky and run into Sister Francine, a nun I’d known in those rare days that Mom would let me go to church on a Sunday instead of hanging around to cook for her flavor of the moment.