During an intimate conversation late one night three years ago, she’d told him the exact opposite about herself. He’d been lying in the dark on his bed, staring at the shadowy ceiling above him. Her voice had been a bare, vulnerable whisper along the phone line.
“I have some ugly things in my past, Gray. I don’t just hop into bed with guys on a whim. Not anymore.”
“You won’t get any pressure from me, sweetheart. I’m quite happy waiting for you.” He meant that. He was an old fashioned kind of guy at heart, and he’d fallen for her. Hard. Maddie was worth waiting for.
“Thank you.” She drew a shuddering breath, a nervous tremor to her voice as she spoke again. “I was a lot more carefree in college. I went to a lot of frat parties, enjoyed my sexuality. But I got hurt. These days, I have to trust a man before I’ll even think about sex.”
Grayson shook off the memory, refocused on the computer in front of him and set his fingers to the keys. Fun and flirty was definitely the way to go. He hoped she’d understand how he meant his next comment, that he attempted to set her at ease.
BookNerd: No fair evading the question. ;)
MadHatter3000: Do you?
BookNerd: 5 days a week like a good boy.
Working out was where all his excess energy went. On days when he couldn’t forget her, when the need to storm her apartment and force her to listen made him crazy, because his life was empty without her, he went to the gym. Pushing his muscles to the limit left his mind blissfully blank. Nights and weekends, however, were harder. Even the pull of a good book lately couldn’t drag his mind from the fact that Maddie essentially lived right around the corner. Her apartment downtown was ten minutes from here, five in good traffic.
He typed in an additional message, aiming once again for a playful tease. Hell, it had worked so far.
BookNerd: Would you like proof?
MadHatter3000: lol No pictures. I’m new to this and that’s an aspect I’m not quite ready for. Yet.
He hadn’t meant it that way, but now he was curious.
BookNerd: May I ask why now?
MadHatter3000: Because I’m 28. I’m not getting any younger, and this is…safe. It’s been a while for me. A relationship ended badly. Christina was right when she told you I don’t trust easily. But I’ll admit I hate being alone. This is kind of a first step.
Grayson sat back, dropping his hands to his sides. His chest tightened with regret. That he’d hurt her had haunted him every day of the last three years. He hated knowing he’d hurt her to the point she’d shut down.
This time, his reply was a whole lot more honest.
BookNerd: You’re not alone there. It’s been a while for me, too. And for the record, I won’t be sending any of those types of pics. The first time you see a certain part of my anatomy I’d rather it be up close and personal.
MadHatter3000: Cock. You can say it. I’m a noob, not a virgin.
He could only shake his head. She was softness and strength, boldness and shyness all rolled into one dynamite package, and he was happily struggling to keep up with her. When she tossed comments like that at him—the bold ones—said part of his anatomy throbbed to life again. His cock happily reminded him how long it had been since he’d held a woman in his arms, let alone made love to one. Oh, he’d tried. The first year after their breakup, he was so hurt by the way she’d iced him out, he was determined to forget her.
Except no woman could ever measure up. Phone sex with Maddie was miles better than actual sex with anyone else. He’d given up attempting to date over a year ago. How the hell he was supposed to move on with his life when all he wanted was her?
His heart hung heavy, all those things he should have said to her a long time ago rising like a typhoon over his head.
Grayson sighed. How the hell did she want him to answer that? Playful was the way to go. If he didn’t, he’d be doing everything he shouldn’t. All unburdening himself would do was re-erect that wall between them, which would only serve to put him back where he’d already been—alone and without her.
BookNerd: All right, cock. Happy now?
MadHatter3000: That depends. Are you actually hard or just a tease?
He closed his eyes and forced himself to draw a shaky breath. Christ. She was going to kill him. He’d die a slow, painful death from lack of oxygen to the brain.
He opened his eyes and shook his head as he punched in a reply.
BookNerd: You’re killing me here, you know that? Both. I find you intriguing. You’re bolder than I expected. I expected you to shut me down by now. So I’ll admit I’m pushing my luck, because your reactions tell me a lot about you and what you expect. From me and from this.
That, sadly, was the truth. He’d also said it because he was dying to know how she’d respond. He’d missed this, the hot, intimate chats.
MadHatter3000: Maybe this is exactly what I want and why I agreed to it.
Ah, now they were getting somewhere.
BookNerd: You want to step outside your box.
MadHatter3000: I want something hot and frivolous that doesn’t end in heartbreak.
Grayson ignored the twinge of regret tightening in his gut and typed in a playful response. He had to play this cool. He was supposed to be a stranger to her.
BookNerd: Ditto. That was three questions, BTW. That’s going to cost you.
MadHatter3000: Ok. I suppose you earned it. Lay ’em on me.
BookNerd: Now it’s your turn. Are you aroused?
MadHatter3000: I’m getting warmer. Next?
He smiled. Damn tease.
BookNerd: That’s all I get? Just warm?
MadHatter3000: Sorry, cowboy, but you’re going to have work harder than that. ;)
Damn it all to hell. Now, he couldn’t resist. He ought to, but he couldn’t.
BookNerd: Tease. ;) Tell me what you’re wearing.
MadHatter3000: You aren’t going to ask what I look like?
Crap. He’d forgotten that. Think fast, Lockwood.
BookNerd: I already did and you didn’t answer. I took the hint. Whatever you’re comfortable with.
MadHatter3000: I’m a natural redhead.
And gorgeous. Maddie’s copper locks flowed down her back in thick waves. She had the complexion to match, smooth, creamy skin and freckles that dotted her nose and cheeks.
BookNerd: I’d rather discover the truth of that for myself, thank you. ;)
MadHatter3000: lol I’m not sending a pic.
BookNerd: Did I ask for one?
MadHatter3000: Next question, please.
BookNerd: What. Are. You. Wearing?
Grayson sat back, glancing over the fast-paced conversation, and grinned. Christ, he’d missed her. Playful banter like this was what had originally brought them together three years ago. They’d gotten to know each other as colleagues and slowly over the year and a half he’d worked undercover at Bradbury, an easy friendship had formed. A work-related e-mail had somehow blossomed. She’d toss a subtle flirt at him. He’d respond and send her one back. It had launched a million small conversations between them, each one bolder than the last.
Another lengthy silence followed. This one so long he feared he really had pushed her beyond her comfort zone. Insides twisted in nervous, highly aroused knots, he set his laptop aside and surged to his feet, pacing to the windows again. The night around him was as quiet and serene as the rocking of the dock the house sat on. This view was what had made him purchase this house. Only now it did nothing for his scattered nerves. Christ. By time the she was done with him, he’d need a cold shower.