I wanted to roll my eyes at myself, but I was one of those dads. And honestly, I didn’t give a shit what anyone thought about it. I loved my kid more than the billions my family was worth. More than all of the clouds in the damn sky and I’d tell anyone who asked. Even sometimes when they didn’t. I didn’t give a fuck what anyone thought about it.
“Come in. Sit down. Soraya put together some apps for us to eat on,” he said, stacking the last of his paperwork neatly on the coffee table.
I had just eaten enough pancakes for ten men, but my healthy appetite never failed me. “You know I’m always down to eat,” I said, leaning back on the couch.
Graham came back into the room and set a few platters on the coffee table that looked delicious.
“Soraya outdid herself,” I said, reaching for some meat and crackers that were laid out with fruit and cheese on a giant board.
Graham chuckled low as he settled onto the other end of the couch. “I see food is still at the top of your list of priorities.”
“Hey! Obviously Andrew is at the very top, but food comes a close second.” I shoved the cracker and meat into my mouth while Graham shook his head and smiled. “What? I’m a growing boy.”
“I hate to break it to you, Whit. But you are not a growing boy anymore. What you are is lucky that you aren’t the size of a fucking house.” He got up off the couch and headed for the kitchen again. “I’m gonna get a beer. Want one?”
It was only eleven o’clock and I didn’t usually drink much at all, but I was with an old friend. “Sure, I’ll have one.” I grabbed another cracker, this time covering it with some creamy cheese and shoving it in my mouth before Graham came back. I didn’t need his damn judgement.
It wasn’t like I was fat. I worked out every morning at five a.m. in my personal gym before Andrew got up for the day. I attributed that workout to the reason that I was, in fact, always so damn hungry. But I knew that was a lie. Some people ate to live and me? I lived to eat. I just fucking loved food.
Graham came in the room and I was still chewing my latest bite of cheese and crackers and I was enjoying the hell out of it. “Damn, did Soraya get this goat cheese from the fresh market? They have the best.”
He laughed. “Hell if I know, man. She does the shopping and I just enjoy it. Speaking of, when are you going to finally settle down?”
I swallowed hard, these cheese and crackers not tasting all that good anymore. So I took a long pull of beer, washing down what now felt like sawdust in my mouth. “What are you talking about? I’m settled. Andrew and I are great.”
I leaned back on the couch and laid off the crackers. I didn’t want to look like too much of a glutton.
“You know exactly what I mean. Are you dating anyone? What’s going on? Catch me up.” He popped a pepperoni in his mouth.
I rolled my eyes. “Did my mother put you up to this?”
Graham laughed. “Nah, man. I haven’t talked to Helen in years.” He shook his head. “But it seems like nothing’s changed.” He gave me a knowing look.
“Nope. She’s still riding my ass almost daily about finding a mother for Andrew. Same shit, new day.”
“Man, she means well. She always has. Your mom was always the coolest.”
She really was. My house was the one everyone congregated to and it wasn’t just because my mom fed us; she also let us be rowdy. My mother wasn’t old money. She married into it. We didn’t have maids, butlers, and drivers. We had her and she knew every one of my friends’ names and treated them like her own. She really was the coolest.
“Yeah. She’s still cool. She brings us food and helps me with Andrew a lot. I don’t know what I would do without her.”
He set his beer bottle on a coaster on the coffee table and grabbed a few more snacks off the table. “I’m sure she only wants the best for you, man. What’s so wrong with settling down anyway? I mean, I’m covered in poop and spit up about ninety-nine percent of the time and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. Maybe it’s finally time to move on and start something new.”
I mulled over his words while I took another sip of beer. I’d moved on. A long time ago. I just didn’t know if I was ready to start over again. To risk both my and Andrew’s hearts. He didn’t ask for any of this and he was so fucking happy, just he and I. Did we really need a woman?
“I bet you could find one that’s an amazing cook,” Graham said with a sly smile like he knew I was thinking about what he just said.
I tipped my beer to him and grinned. “Now that, I wouldn’t mind. You know the way to my heart is through my stomach,” I said as Soraya came into the room.
“Am I interrupting?” she asked, picking at the snacks on the table.
I shook my head. “Absolutely not. Graham was just giving me shit about women.”
Her eyebrows raised. “Oh, do tell.”
“Nothing to tell. I’m just a boring old dad.”
She giggled and finished chewing before asking, “There’s no one you’re interested in?”
There wasn’t any one girl who stood out to me, except maybe the girl I’d met at the coffee truck the other day. Well, that wasn’t entirely true because it wasn’t the first time I’d seen Grace from North Carolina.
No, I’d seen her a few days before in the park, chatting it up and having lunch with an old black man. I’d immediately noticed her and not just because she was beautiful.
She was one of those girls that you noticed because of the effortlessness of her beauty. It was her tinkling bell-like laugh and sweet but sultry voice that carried across the park that made me first look her way.
I’d been at one of my stores down near Central Park and decided to just take a walk and about halfway through my break, I’d noticed her. Just her laugh and voice at first and then I’d seen her. She was a showstopper for sure with her blonde hair blowing around her face. Her lipstick-free smile was wide and white. Genuine. You didn’t always find those kind of girls in the city. Especially in the nightclubs or bars.
And as I walked closer, her southern accent slipped over me as she spoke to the man beside her and I couldn’t help but smile and wink. I’d wanted to stop and talk to her but she looked so young and here I was, probably ten years older than her with a kid. So, I’d kept walking because I was determined that Andrew and I would never be someone’s burden. No, we were too good for that.
It had seemed like fate when I’d stepped into line behind her at Anil’s coffee truck and I’d heard her sweet almost husky voice again. I couldn’t see her face from the back but as soon as she’d spoken, I knew it was her. And when she’d tried to order a Frappuccino, I’d almost howled with laughter seeing Anil’s face. But I didn’t think that would go over so well and I’d really wanted to talk to her that day. So instead, I’d stepped in ordering her coffee for her.
I could tell at first it had upset her, which I somehow found only more endearing. I shouldn’t have but she was just so damn adorable. Her pouty lips. She was clearly trying her hardest not to be interested in me. Which was fine.
But I was the worst at pretending. And I realized by me offering her a ride, I came off as a creepy ass older man. She’d been so eager to get away from me, she’d almost headed to the wrong train. Who could blame her? Fucking hell, I’d come on too strong and that was where the problem lay. I had no idea how to date and I didn’t know if I wanted to do it again anyway.