Less than a minute later, she passed through the lobby area in search of the private elevator. Jonas had mentioned it when he hired her and it was used for access to the family suites and offices, something off-limits to guests.
Jonas insisted the photos reflect the real people. Lifestyle was the way he’d put it. Photos of how we are when we’re not with customers.
The Elk Lodge was a massive building, and it had space for two family suites—one for Elin, their grandmother, and one for visiting family when they preferred to use the penthouse rather than their own homes. Not to mention, Jonas’s offices were up here next to his grandmother’s suite.
He opened the door before she could knock, ushering them in and shutting it tightly behind them. Scott’s non-stop chatter had more than likely alerted him to their arrival.
“Hi,” Scott said, using one of the few words he’d learned early on.
“Hi, there.” Jonas’s face softened. He pushed a hand through his hair and blew out a breath, meeting Rachel’s eyes. “I was hoping we could talk about our situation.”
“Okay. Do you have a room that’s safe for Scott to play in where we can keep an eye on him?”
“The sitting room should be good. We’ll both be in there with him and I don’t think there’s anything dangerous. The fireplace has a gate on it.” Jonas led the way from the reception area to the sitting room attached to his actual office.
Rachel loved the panoramic view of the ski hills, the afternoon light golden on the snow. Her hands itched for a camera, except now wasn’t the time for photographs.
“How’s this?”
“It’s good.” She let go of Scott’s hand, and he made a beeline for a leather sofa, squeezing one of the arms to test it before crawling up to investigate.
Jonas hadn’t acted this flustered the first time she’d met him. He’d been in control in a way that soothed her. Rachel’s life had felt very out of control at the time, what with the called-off wedding. That trip to the Elk Lodge was supposed to have been so she could reconnect with her ex-fiancé. Something that hadn’t worked out as planned.
Rachel edged closer, sitting down on the sofa so she could be close to Scott. She also wanted to be close to Jonas. It was hard keeping her eyes off his tall, muscular frame, dressed impeccably in charcoal pants and a button-down with the neck open enough for her to see a hint of flesh. A shiver of desire moved down her spine, as she remembered more than the hint.
With his breathtaking blue eyes and model-handsome face, no wonder she was still attracted. No wonder she still felt like she might catch fire. Rachel hadn’t been with anyone since Jonas. Not out of a sense of obligation, but more because no one could compare to the memory of a time she considered perfection.
More deep breaths. Now wasn’t the time to develop a massive crush on the father of her child—or admit that the crush had existed all this time, in an abstract way. She’d thought about him often at night. But that didn’t mean this visit changed anything. Scott was her priority in life, and she wasn’t going to get distracted by a relationship. Period.
No one has said anything about a relationship, a small voice warned. “So,” she said, doing her best to bat the thoughts away. “Let’s talk.”
Jonas sat down on a loveseat across from her. There was plenty of open carpet space, and Rachel bent to put one of the toy trucks she’d brought with her on the floor. It would hopefully keep Scott occupied as soon as he was bored with the creases on the leather couch.
“We have to make some decisions.” Jonas leaned forward, elbows balanced on his knees. “This will come as a shock to my family, and it will be best if we can contain the damage.”
Defensiveness roared to life in her. “You’re talking about my son,” she said, more sharply than she intended. “He’s not damage, whatever your relatives might think of him. And I won’t let you refer to him that way.” She should stop, but she couldn’t. “I won’t let anyone talk about him like that, especially his father.”
Jonas cleared his throat. “That’s not what I meant. I think it would be best if we made any further decisions together.”
Heat skimmed along her back, and she couldn’t tell if it was from anger or desire or both. Why did it have to feel so complicated? “Nobody makes decisions for me. If you’re worried about people finding out—”
“I’m not worried about people finding out,” he insisted, an edge in his voice. “I don’t think he’s a mistake.” Jonas’s eyes dropped to his son, who had crouched down to play with the truck on the carpet. “I feel terrible that I didn’t know.” He looked into her eyes again, and she saw confirmation of all the guilt that must be twisting him up inside.
She hadn’t known who he was, but now she wondered if she should have worked harder to find out. It was only that the baby had seemed like a kind of miracle, and she hadn’t wanted to bring the real world crashing in to tarnish it. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t know who you were.” Her throat went tight. “But now we do, and we can—we can go forward from here.” She swiped at her eyes, wiping away the press of feelings in her chest. “I’m assuming your family won’t be happy?”
“It’s not that,” he said.
Scott made zooming sounds with the truck, rolling it back and forth on the rug, Jonas following the action.
“My grandmother is quite ill.” His eyes landed back on her, and Rachel saw the pain—something raw and real. “That’s why I was so insistent on getting the photos this year. She might not have another Christmas. My fear is that I would be a huge disappointment, and I don’t want to upset her. Or give her reason not to trust that the lodge is in excellent hands. Responsible hands.”
“And having a child destroys that trust?”
“Because of the accident part. And the not knowing part, and for letting you struggle by yourself without any help from me. How old is he?”
“He just turned two.” She had the urge to go and fold herself into Jonas’s lap, wanting to be held. But that was out of the question. They weren’t together. He was the sexiest man she’d ever seen, yes. And he was the father of her child. But none of that changed anything. He was more off-limits now than ever before.
“I’m worried about my grandmother,” Jonas said. It was clear from his expression that he was struggling to find the way forward.
Her heart squeezed for him. “You don’t have to tell me what’s wrong, but—”
“Cancer.” The word sounded insidious, which of course it was. “Aggressive.” He rubbed both hands over his face. “I wasn’t prepared.” Rachel got the feeling he wasn’t only talking about cancer. “My only concern is that the shock would create a physical reaction for her. That is my only concern,” Jonas said, a hint of authority returning to his voice. It was one of the things she’d admired about him the first time they met. “I have to protect her. But I don’t want you to go.”
“You don’t have to protect me, you know. I’ve done a surprisingly good job of that myself the past couple of years.” It wasn’t always true, but she got an A for effort.