“I should probably go,” she finally said, reluctantly standing up. “Thank you for dinner. And for the brandy. It was exceptional,” she told him, handing him the glass.
For a long moment, she stood there, gazing up at him. He was so tall and so handsome. And she really wanted to know what it would be like to kiss a man like Derick.
As soon as that thought popped into her mind, she pulled back, terrified. “Well, thank you.” Then she was gone, literally running across the grass towards her house.
Once inside, with the doors locked, Carrie took several deep breaths, trying to calm her racing heart. “Don’t go there!” she whispered to herself. “Don’t even think about kissing him! You know where kisses lead and you’re not going to risk it again!”
She sank down onto the dusty floor, wrapping her arms around her legs, trying to keep herself from falling apart. “Not again!” she vowed. “Never again!”
Chapter 7
The next two days were rough on Carrie. She stayed out of sight until she saw Derick drive off to work each morning. Then she worked frantically on the various projects around the house, scraping her arm with the sander one day, slicing her thigh with a chisel the next. Carrie ignored the pain in her arm and her leg, pushing as hard as she could to finish each project she’d assigned herself before six o’clock. Which was generally the time Derick arrived home from work.
Every evening, she cleaned up her project and turned off all of the lights and watched. She wouldn’t allow herself to speak to Derick again.
No, the dinner hadn’t been the problem. It had been after dinner. Her reaction to his proximity and the desire to touch him. After that night, she’d gone straight to her duffel bag and pulled out the envelope. The pictures within were a vivid reminder and she’d cried herself to sleep that night. Cried for all the things that she’d lost. Her dreams and her hopes were shattered. Until she’d met Derick, she’d accepted that. So why was he stirring all of those desires up again?
She was strong and powerful! This might not be the life she’d wanted, but it was the life she had. Carrie reminded herself that she was safe. That was much more important than feeling a man’s strong arms around her. Much more important!
That night, after all of the lights in Derick’s house went out, Carrie slipped out of her house and curled up on the corner of her porch, staring up at the stars as tears streamed down her cheeks. She had a cup of tea in her hands, but she didn’t drink it. She wanted…more.
“What did I do wrong?”
Carrie jumped, spilling tea down her front at the sound of Derick’s voice breaking through the silence of the night. Thankfully, the tea had cooled enough she didn’t burn herself. But the sight of Derick, so close and so handsome and so…mysterious…bothered her far more than the spilled tea.
“I’m sorry?” she asked, keeping her voice down in deference to the peaceful night.
He stepped closer, but didn’t come up onto her porch, keeping his distance. “What did I do wrong?”
Carrie uncurled her legs, not wanting to appear small. She already felt too venerable.
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Derick.”
“Then why have you avoided me for the past several days?”
Standing up, she looked at him, the moon illuminating his skin but making his features dark and indistinguishable.
Several answers came to mind, and she set her cup down on the railing and moved closer, her bare feet sinking into the dew-covered grass. “Because you scare me, Derick.”
He moved closer with her words. “I’d never hurt you,” he replied. “Never.”
She closed her eyes, wishing that she could believe him. But her past had proven that trusting a man was dangerous. “You’re very strong, Derick,” she replied, not agreeing or disagreeing with him.
He moved even closer and she could smell him, his masculine scent and the slight bite of sweat that should smell bad, but on Derick, it was wonderful. Tempting.
Stepping down from the porch, she sighed. “I can’t…”
“We’re attracted to each other, Jolene. Tell me the problem and I’ll fix it.”
She smiled up at him, wondering if she could have one night. Just one. One perfect night and then she’d go back to being the recluse.
Reaching out, she touched his chest, running her fingers over the soft cotton shirt. “You’re very handsome.”
He moved closer, not touching her, but nor did he pull her hand away. “Is that the problem?”
She laughed softly, shaking her head. “No.”
“Then what?”
Carrie closed her eyes, her fears slipping away as desire for this man washed over her. “Would you…?” she paused looking up at him. “Would you kiss me?” she whispered, almost fearful that he’d deny her request. And terrified that he would agree.
“Yes,” he replied, his voice rough with emotion.
Still, he didn’t touch her and Carrie appreciated that. Instead, he lowered his head, his lips brushing against hers. Back and forth, testing her lips, feeling her trembling response. Over and over again, he kissed her, not doing anything else and Carrie knew she had fallen in love with him right then and there.
Pulling back, she looked into his eyes, not moving away from him. In that moment, she made a decision. Just one night, she told herself. Just one night in his arms.
“I don’t have a bed,” she whispered.
In response, Derick scooped her into his arms and, in what seemed like only two steps, carried her across the yard to his house and up the stairs. He wasn’t even breathing heavily when he shouldered his way into his bedroom.
“Derick!” she gasped when she felt his hands on her waist. “Please, I’m sorry but…would you mind if…if I was on top?”
He hesitated, then kissed her again. Another gentle, soothing, coaxing kiss. “If that will make you more comfortable, then yes.”
She nodded, then moved closer, needing just a moment in his arms. A moment to savor the feeling of being held, the warmth of him, and the tenderness in his hands. This moment would be enough, she told herself. Sex was fine, but this…snuggling was even better.
His hands moved over her back, diving into her hair. After several breathless seconds, he turned her head up and kissed her. This time, his tongue slid over her lips, coaxing her to open for him. She did, and gasped when she felt his tongue in her mouth, moving around, tasting her. Exploring her.
Somehow, her tee shirt had come off and she stood in front of him in only her panties. Dollar store panties that were a bit threadbare, but thankfully, he couldn’t tell in the moonlight streaming through his open windows.
Carefully, he laid her down on the bed and pulled her panties down, taking in all of her in the dim light.
“You’re so beautiful,” he growled, his eyes and fingers skimming over her nakedness.
He started to lean over her, but she squeaked, feeling nervous. So, he shifted until he was lying on his back. He quickly pulled his tee shirt off, tossing it away. Quickly, Carrie moved so that she was over him, her hair coming out of the band to form a curtain around them as she moved her mouth from his shoulder to his chest, kissing and exploring, feeling her way since there wasn’t enough light to see as much of him as she’d like.