He nodded and let her continue.
“As I see it, we have several cons. Children would require one of us to stay at home at all times or take them with us if we go to the ranch like Tori and Jacob do. Traveling together would be impossible, and I’m not sure I’m happy with that. However, I can do my job from my office and I don’t really need to travel; others can go in my place. But I don’t want to give up my job. Tori still works part-time, but I want to work full-time. I like what I do.”
He nodded when she looked at him. She didn’t need his input right now. She was working through the scenario she had in her head, and if he interrupted her, it could take weeks or months before the topic could come up again. He was very interested in knowing her thoughts on a family.
“The biggest con is that I would make a horrible mother.” She linked her fingers behind her neck and stared at him.
“I don’t believe that for a second.”
She spread her hands out. “I forget to eat.”
“You take excellent care of me,” he countered.
“Huh?” She blinked at him.
“You take excellent care of me.” He stood and walked to her so she was looking up at him.
She narrowed her eyes and asked, “How?”
“Babe, you schedule everything for me. I know what to do and when to do it because you make sure I know. I wouldn’t be able to accomplish half of what I do if you didn’t prep me for it and clear most of the obstacles before I even know they’re there.” He placed his hands on her waist.
“But that’s work. That makes sense to me.” She dropped her hands. “I don’t know how to take care of a baby.” She dropped her eyes and whispered, “But I want to hold our child in my arms.”
Zane blinked at the honest, raw emotion. He tipped her chin up so he could see her eyes. “There are classes, all kinds of classes, and books where you can get information. Your mother raised eight children; she wouldn’t let you fail. Tori lives on the other side of town, Faith is even closer. Sweetheart, you will be a fantastic mother, but there is help if we need it.”
She dropped her eyes and nodded. He could imagine the gears in her mind making a shift to accept the additional information. “What are you thinking about?”
She shook herself slightly. “Ahh… we’ll go to the classes and read the books. When I have enough information and I understand more, maybe then we can try to have a baby?”
“Absolutely. But for now, how about we just practice?”
Jewell flashed a fabulous smile at him. “We want a perfect baby, right?”
Zane slapped a serious expression on his face. “Of course. Absolutely perfect.”
“Then we must practice.” Jewell placed her hands on his shoulders and jumped up.
He caught her legs and bounced her higher, grabbing her under her ass. He strode into the bathroom and dropped her in the middle of the double vanity. Their kiss lasted until they were both breathless. Recovery comprised the time it took to open the shower door and turn on the water. Turning back to her, he unwrapped the layers of clothing from his woman. Somewhere under the hoodie, the sweater, t-shirt, leggings, and two pair of socks was the sexy body he wanted to touch. “How in the hell aren’t you sweating buckets?” He pulled off the last sock and glanced at the pile of clothing she’d wrapped herself up with.
She shrugged. “I don’t like being cold.” She leaned forward and looked at him. “Take yours off.” She reached behind her and unfastened her bra. He stayed kneeling in front of her, waiting for that piece of fabric to find the mound of castoff material, but she smiled and then laughed. “Not until I see some flesh.”
He stood and moved between her legs, stripping out of his t-shirt as he rose. Her hands released her clasp, and she shrugged off the lace. The only thing that barred his way to a very naked wife was a wisp of fabric. He smiled at her and grabbed the material at both hips and––
“Damn it, Zane! They were a matched set.” She groaned and picked at the fabric that no longer circled her waist.
“I’ll buy you more.” He shucked his sweats and grabbed her off the vanity.
“You always say that.”
“I do, don’t I?” He stepped into the shower and walked them directly under the water. “I’ll be saying it when I’m ninety.”
“I’ll be a wrinkled old woman.”
“You will always be sexy to me. Always.” He shut the shower door behind them and let her legs slide down his. Her mind was a thing of beauty, her body was sexy beyond belief, but it was her heart that won him over. He’d seen it bleed for so many people for so long, there was no doubt in his mind that she would make a fantastic mother.
Chapter 8
Drake carried Jillian’s suitcase and stowed it in Gracie’s underbelly. The old girl was going to get a flying workout in the next couple days, but she was a solid aircraft and they’d just had her overhauled last year.
Jillian waited for him at the stairs to the aircraft. “You know they are going to be late, right?”
Drake grabbed his wife’s hand, and they boarded together. “Who? Keelee and Adam, Mike and Taty, or Dixon and Joy?”
“Your brother. I went to ask Joy if she was ready to go and by the sounds of the way the headboard was thumping against the wall, it could be quite a while.”
Drake turned to look at her and laughed at the deep red blush on her face. “Jilly, you realize other people do what we do after dark, right?”
“I’m not a prude, it’s just… Things you can’t unsee even if you imagine them, you know?” She dropped into one of the leather loungers. “Did you know Joy wants to have a baby?”
“What?” Drake glanced around the empty plane as the echo of his shout died down.
“Yeah, that was the response of everyone at Maliki’s wedding. She got really quiet and I think our shocked response… ah… hurt her feelings.”
Drake sat down across from his wife and made a pained face. “It is quite possible that woman doesn’t have feelings unless it involves Dixon.”
“No, she does. She just hides them from everyone. But yeah, she said she wanted a baby.” Jillian cleared her throat. “We’ve never really discussed children other than, you know, commenting that maybe, someday…”
Drake rubbed his face with both hands and blew out a stream of air. “Yeah, well, you know what a fucking bastard my father was.”
She nodded. “So, you never want kids?”
“Ah, well…” Drake checked the open door to make sure there was no one around before he continued, “Honestly, I’d like to be a dad, but I don’t want to father children.”
Jillian blinked at him. “What?”
He leaned forward. “I know it is an irrational fear. My father was the worst kind of evil; my mother wasn’t much better. I don’t want those people’s genetics to run through my children’s veins. It terrifies me that in some cosmic genetic lottery our son or daughter might end up mentally ill like they were.”
Jillian covered her hands with his. “I understand completely, and to be honest, I don’t think I’d do well with an infant. I know my limitations, but I love older children. Their curiosity and the way they search for answers. I’m amazed at how easy they assimilate facts and adapt to novel ideas. I guess it’s too bad we can’t just skip the first couple years, yeah?” She chuckled and then snapped up. “Wait. We could adopt. There are a lot of older kids in the system.”