“It’s always weird with Lex.”
“Sociopath,” Tessa huffs. “AJ, you could do so much better. Are you guys taking a break again this summer?”
We grab our phones from the basket in the foyer and head to the guest room where we left our bags. I beeline to the bathroom to change. “Yeah,” I say through the door. I keep my voice cheerful, but I let a few tears wobble down my cheeks. “You know, it’s easier that way. I mean, it’s not like it’s all Lex’s idea. I want to have fun over the summer, too.”
That’s partially a lie. I’ve tried the whole fling thing, and it doesn’t work for me. I think what I’d really like is to date a guy who wants to commit to me, but that’s not who Lex is. I don’t try to force him to be someone he’s not, and there’s no one else I want to be with.
“Lucky!” Harper yells.
I take a soft cotton ball from the crystal jar on the vanity and wipe away my mascara streaks. Today was supposed to be pure summer fun, but I’m just as exhausted as I would be after a long day of school and extracurriculars. I consider faking a stomach bug and heading home, but I check my phone and see I’ve missed thirty-eight texts from Marnie chronicling how unfair her life is and whining about our parents’ PDA. I know if I go home, she’ll direct all of her energy at me, and I definitely can’t handle that now.
I step out of the bathroom and smile at my best friends. I’ll go to Harper’s, carb out, watch movies, maybe steal a glass or two of Mrs. Johannsen’s boxed wine... It will be fine.
“How do you deal with going to a camp that’s all girls, Tessa? Don’t you miss being around guys?” Harper asks. Harper’s been chasing boys around the playground since kindergarten, so the idea of a no-boy summer is her literal definition of hell.
“There’s a boys’ camp across the lake,” Tessa blurts out, then blushes a little. She hesitates before the next sentence. “And there’s a guy who goes there. We’ve been meeting up every summer for the last three years, so...yeah. There’s that.”
“What?” Harper squeals, bouncing on the neatly made bed so hard, she sends a dozen velvety throw pillows flying. “You’ve had a secret boyfriend for three years?”
“Not everyone overshares every detail of their lives.”
“Is he a troll? Are you embarrassed about him?” Harper demands. Tessa bites her lip hard, and I wonder if she regrets opening up. “You are, aren’t you? What’s wrong with him? Is he ugly? Is he in 4-H?”
“Shut up, Harper.” I lock eyes with Tessa and nod toward the bathroom. She flies in and slams the door behind her. “What’s wrong with you?” I hiss. “You’re making Tessa upset. Just because you have diarrhea of the mouth when it comes to your crushes, doesn’t mean everyone does.”
“C’mon, you’re seriously blaming me, here? Tessa has kept her summer boyfriend a secret for three years.” Harper rolls her eyes. “That’s practically catfishing.”
“That’s definitely not catfishing.”
Harper ticks off on her fingers all the ways Tessa’s deception is unacceptable, and I half listen, wondering what she’d think if she found out about my secret family and life in Florida.
“Also, maybe he’s, like, trashy? Although, I guess if he can afford to go to a camp like Tessa’s, he’s probably not a total delinquent.”
“Do you mean trashy or just poor?” I narrow my eyes at her, but she refuses to feel ashamed of how gross she’s being.
“Is there really a difference? Really?” She pops her Lilly Pulitzer dress over her suit and pulls her top off through the armhole, like we’re in a middle-school locker room. “Don’t get all holier than thou. I just have the guts to say what everyone else is thinking.”
Before I can argue with her, Tessa comes out, and I can tell she used the cotton balls to sop up some tears, too.
“Don’t say a word to me, Harper,” Tessa growls, then holds up her phone. “Here. Robbie. Band geek, hippie, poet, dork, and maybe...no, definitely the guy I...love.”
Even Harper isn’t cruel enough to say anything stupid in response to that declaration. We all gather around and look at a gangly, long-haired, hippie-looking guy with a huge, goofy grin and eyes for Tessa and Tessa alone.
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Harper asks as she squints at the picture.
“Because... I’m not embarrassed. He’s just...he wouldn’t fit in here. I didn’t know what you guys would think of him or say about him. So I didn’t give you the chance to.”
“He’d be ten times cuter if he cut off that gross hair,” Harper sniffs, but when Tessa looks like she might lunge for her throat, she quickly adds, “But he’s definitely super cute. Good job, Tess.”
For a second it feels like the time might be right for me to share, too—
“Are you going to read us his love poems?” Harper cackles, and Tessa’s face falls.
“Forget it. I knew I shouldn’t have said anything,” she mutters. “Let’s bounce. I need some Advil and an Office marathon. Your place?”
I watch Tessa try hard to keep the upper hand, but it’s obvious from the way her shoulders slump that her feelings are hurt. In our crew, hurt feelings are something you rebound from, and you do it quickly. I squeeze her shoulder, and she gives me a half smile.
“I’m calling in an order to that Thai place you love. What do you want?” Harper asks Tessa, her olive branch too little too late.
Tessa accepts anyway.
“Larb. And lots of mango sticky rice for dessert.” Tessa and Harper head to Harper’s car, heads bent together over the menu on Harper’s phone, but I hang back when I hear Lex call for me.
“Hey, I’ve been waiting for you to come back out. We cool?” He ducks in for a kiss, but I pull back.
“We’re fine. I’m headed to Harper’s. Thanks for the party.”
“Stay.” He takes my hand and holds tighter when I try to pull back.
“No.”
“There will be fireworks,” he singsongs.
“I’ve had all the excitement I can take for one night.” I pull away. “Let go. Tessa and Harper are waiting on me.”
“Hey...” He rakes his fingers through his hair and blows out a long breath that echoes through the marble foyer. “Sometimes... I can be a real dick. Beyond my usual levels. Tonight, I was a big-time dick.”
I wait for him to say more, but apparently that’s it. He skids just short of an apology, and I just barely forgive him.