1
Letty
I sit on my bed, staring down at the fabric in my hands.
This wasn't how it was supposed to happen.
This wasn't part of my plan.
I let out a sigh, squeezing my eyes tight, willing the tears away.
I've cried enough. I thought I'd have run out by now.
A commotion on the other side of the door has me looking up in a panic, but just like yesterday, no one comes knocking.
I think I proved that I don't want to hang with my new roommates the first time someone knocked and asked if I wanted to go for breakfast with them.
I don't.
I don't even want to be here.
I just want to hide.
And that thought makes it all a million times worse.
I'm not a hider. I'm a fighter. I'm a fucking Hunter.
But this is what I've been reduced to.
This pathetic, weak mess.
And all because of him.
He shouldn't have this power over me. But even now, he does.
The dorm falls silent once again, and I pray that they've all headed off for their first class of the semester so I can slip out unnoticed.
I know it's ridiculous. I know I should just go out there with my head held high and dig up the confidence I know I do possess.
But I can't.
I figure that I'll just get through today—my first day—and everything will be alright.
I can somewhat pick up where I left off, almost as if the last eighteen months never happened.
Wishful thinking.
I glance down at the hoodie in my hands once more.
Mom bought them for Zayn, my younger brother, and me.
The navy fabric is soft between my fingers, but the text staring back at me doesn't feel right.
Maddison Kings University.
A knot twists my stomach and I swear my whole body sags with my new reality.
I was at my dream school. I beat the odds and I got into Columbia. And everything was good. No, everything was fucking fantastic.
Until it wasn't.
Now here I am. Sitting in a dorm at what was always my backup plan school having to start over.
Throwing the hoodie onto my bed, I angrily push to my feet.
I'm fed up with myself.
I should be better than this, stronger than this.
But I’m just… I'm broken.
And as much as I want to see the positives in this situation. I'm struggling.
Shoving my feet into my Vans, I swing my purse over my shoulder and scoop up the couple of books on my desk for the two classes I have today.
My heart drops when I step out into the communal kitchen and find a slim blonde-haired girl hunched over a mug and a textbook.
The scent of coffee fills my nose and my mouth waters.
My shoes squeak against the floor and she immediately looks up.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to disrupt you."
"Are you kidding?" she says excitedly, her southern accent making a smile twitch at my lips.
Her smile lights up her pretty face and for some reason, something settles inside me.
I knew hiding was wrong. It's just been my coping method for… quite a while.
"We wondered when our new roommate was going to show her face. The guys have been having bets on you being an alien or something."
A laugh falls from my lips. "No, no alien. Just…" I sigh, not really knowing what to say.
"You transferred in, right? From Columbia?"
"Ugh… yeah. How'd you know—"
"Girl, I know everything." She winks at me, but it doesn't make me feel any better. "West and Brax are on the team, they spent the summer with your brother."
A rush of air passes my lips in relief. Although I'm not overly thrilled that my brother has been gossiping about me.
"So, what classes do you have today?" she asks when I stand there gaping at her.
"Umm… American lit and psychology."
"I've got psych later too. Professor Collins?"
"Uh…" I drag my schedule from my purse and stare down at it. "Y-yes."
"Awesome. We can sit together."
"S-sure," I stutter, sounding unsure, but the smile I give her is totally genuine. "I'm Letty, by the way." Although I'm pretty sure she already knows that.
"Ella."
"Okay, I'll… uh… see you later."
"Sure. Have a great morning."
She smiles at me and I wonder why I was so scared to come out and meet my new roommates.
I'd wanted Mom to organize an apartment for me so that I could be alone, but—probably wisely—she refused. She knew that I'd use it to hide in and the point of me restarting college is to try to put everything behind me and start fresh.
After swiping an apple from the bowl in the middle of the table, I hug my books tighter to my chest and head out, ready to embark on my new life.
The morning sun burns my eyes and the scent of freshly cut grass fills my nose as I step out of our building. The summer heat hits my skin, and it makes everything feel that little bit better.
So what if I'm starting over. I managed to transfer the credits I earned from Columbia, and MKU is a good school. I'll still get a good degree and be able to make something of my life.
Things could be worse.
It could be this time last year…
I shake the thought from my head and force my feet to keep moving.
I pass students meeting up with their friends for the start of the new semester as they excitedly tell them all about their summers and the incredible things they did, or they compare schedules.
My lungs grow tight as I drag in the air I need. I think of the friends I left behind in Columbia. We didn't have all that much time together, but we'd bonded before my life imploded on me.
Glancing around, I find myself searching for familiar faces. I know there are plenty of people here who know me. A couple of my closest friends came here after high school.
Mom tried to convince me to reach out over the summer, but my anxiety kept me from doing so. I don't want anyone to look at me like I'm a failure. That I got into one of the best schools in the country, fucked it up and ended up crawling back to Rosewood. I'm not sure what's worse, them assuming I couldn't cope or the truth.
Focusing on where I'm going, I put my head down and ignore the excited chatter around me as I head for the coffee shop, desperately in need of my daily fix before I even consider walking into a lecture.
I find the Westerfield Building where my first class of the day is and thank the girl who holds the heavy door open for me before following her toward the elevator.
"Holy fucking shit," a voice booms as I turn the corner, following the signs to the room on my schedule.
Before I know what's happening, my coffee is falling from my hand and my feet are leaving the floor.
"What the—" The second I get a look at the guy standing behind the one who has me in his arms, I know exactly who I've just walked into.
Forgetting about the coffee that's now a puddle on the floor, I release my books and wrap my arms around my old friend.
His familiar woodsy scent flows through me, and suddenly, I feel like me again. Like the past two years haven't existed.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Luca asks, a huge smile on his face when he pulls back and studies me.