I try to smile, but my expression quickly flatlines.
Shaking my head, I rise to my feet and rest my hand on the cold concrete.
“Wish me luck. I have no idea what I’m going to find on my journey, but I really hope it helps me figure out how to keep going without you guys.”
The rest of my goodbye is sucked into a vortex of despair.
Fighting the tears, I race back to my car, the one I didn’t even want. Aunt Valerie made me sell both my parents’ cars and buy this practical sedan that’s puke green and has a five-star safety rating according to NHTSA. I scoff, slamming the driver’s door closed and racing out of La Jolla.
Stopping for breakfast at a small diner about ten miles from home, I get out a bunch of cash from the ATM across the street, hoping it’ll last me until I get to the East Coast. I’ve watched enough spy movies and crime shows to know how to make myself anonymous. You work with cash. If they somehow track my cards, I want the ping to come from the ATM across the street and then nada until I reach the other side of the country.
I seriously need to figure out which part of the coast I want to go to. Should I start in Maine? I could buy a copy of Evening on the way. Ugh, or would that be too painful?
My phone buzzes, the screen lighting up with a third text from my aunt.
This is ridiculous! Come home right now. You are not allowed to just run away!
I flip the phone over so I don’t have to look at it, my insides singeing with a touch of guilt. She’s been calling and texting for nearly an hour now. I put the phone on silent so the fact that I was ignoring her didn’t feel quite so blatant. After five unanswered calls, she gave up and started texting.
Her first message was almost sweet—We can work this out. The second was a little more urgent—Don’t worry us this way.
And now I’m getting the real emotion, her freak-out no doubt intensifying the more the minutes tick by.
But I can’t, okay? I just can’t!
I don’t want to talk to her or try to explain myself. She won’t understand where I’m coming from anyway.
I spent some time online last night making sure my phone can’t be easily tracked and they have no way of following my movements. The police can always put out a BOLO on my vehicle, but it’s not like I’m a criminal on the run.
However, since I hate my car, I’m not opposed to trading it in somewhere. For now, I just want to get distance between me and a family that doesn’t want me around.
Forcing down some scrambled eggs and bacon, I then head into the bathroom to brush my teeth and refresh my makeup.
Staring at the new Kena, I almost don’t recognize her. The scraggly, unkempt hair, the dark eyes and painted black lips. The old me would have never left the house looking like this, unless she was dressing up for Halloween or something.
But I’ll take anything compared to the girl I was before.
I need this.
It’s a fresh start.
A new beginning.
The first day of the rest of my life.
7
Breakfast Burritos
I don’t remember how I got to Jade’s house, but I wake up on the couch with a blanket draped over me and pudgy little fingers gently brushing my face.
Opening my eyes, I come face-to-face with an innocent brown gaze that makes my heart curl.
“Hey, little one,” I croak.
“You win?”
“I don’t think so.” I shake my head, my brain sloshing inside my skull as I struggle to remember the details.
I still feel kind of woozy, which tells me I shouldn’t have been driving last night. I’ve probably got a mild concussion.
Shit, I don’t even remember where I parked.
Resting my hand lightly on my forehead, I let out a soft groan.
“Dat’s okay, Dee Dee. Arwee still wuv you.” Arley rests her head on my chest. Her curls are a lion’s mane this morning, tickling my collarbone.
I brush them back, loving how soft they are, how sweet this little girl is.
My resolve to get her away from here only grows stronger.
For a second, I dare to imagine her at the ranch, riding a pony, running through the grass in little cowgirl boots. It’d be freaking adorable.
“Is Mommy still sleeping?” I murmur.
“Yep.” Her head pops off my chest and she looks at me, a mischievous glint in her eyes. “Can I wat TV?”
I narrow my eyes at her. “Are you usually allowed to watch TV before she wakes up?”
Her bottom lip sticks out and she dips her chin, shaking her head.
I snicker and sit up, taking her with me so I can kiss the side of her head.
Nestling her on my lap, I straighten her Doc McStuffins pajama shirt and tweak Mr. Rabbit’s ear. She snuggles the soft toy against her and kisses his head.
“I’ll tell you what…”
She looks up at me, the expectation on her face too damn cute.
“I’m gonna go and buy us some yummy breakfast burritos. Why don’t you stay here and draw me a pretty picture?” I point at her kid-sized art table by a wall that’s covered with pages of toddler scribbles—a proud gallery of crayon and rainbow colors. “And when I get back, if Mommy’s still asleep, then I’ll let you watch some TV. I’m sure she’ll be cool with it if I’m here.”
“And Mr. Wabbit too!”
“Of course Mr. Rabbit can watch with you.” I grin.
Her face lights with glee, and she jumps off my lap, running to the table, her soft pink blanket trailing behind her.
“Wat I draw?” She pops Mr. Rabbit on the table so he can watch.
“Uh… how about you draw a picture of your mom and you? She’ll love that.”
“Okay.” She pulls a crayon out of the cup and starts scribbling all over the sheet.
I chuckle under my breath and rise from the couch, taking a second to center myself before pulling on some jeans and my Converses. How’d my bag get here? I must have carried it in from the car last night. I don’t remember getting changed, which means I probably stumbled up to Jade’s house in my fighting gear.
Geez, I must have looked like a mess, no doubt covered in blood.
Poor Jade. She would have had to strip me. Clean me up. My stuff is probably soaking in the sink.
Zipping up my fly, I stare down at the faded, ripped jeans, grateful I had a change of clothes in the car. Snatching my brown leather jacket out of the bag, I ease it over my aching body and check that my wallet is still in the pocket.
“See ya soon, little one.” I walk over and kiss the top of Arley’s head. She’s too busy concentrating on her creation to say goodbye. Her tongue is poking out of her mouth as she scribbles blue over top of orange.
With a little snicker, I shut the door behind me and hobble down the stairs. The sun is starting to shine bright, and I have no idea where my shades are. Man, I seriously need to remember where I parked my car. They’re probably sitting on the dash.
Squinting, I shove my hands in my jean pockets and hustle to the gate.
My car’s not parked at the curb. I guess that’s a good thing. I was probably working on autopilot and parked a few blocks over.
Crap, I can’t believe I drove here and have no memory of it. I must have been seriously spaced out. That guy Julio really knocked me senseless.