Adjusting his patterned silk shirt, his dark gaze narrows in on me, and I force my lips to rise into a closed-mouth smile.
“What do you need?”
He sniffs, staring me down while clicking his fingers at Leo. The guy pulls out a cigarette and places it between Cruz’s lips before lighting it for him.
I turn my head to hide my eye roll.
He thinks he’s freaking Caesar. Loves that whole master-servant bullshit. Gets off on the power of it.
Man, I know the risk was high, but I’m so glad I got Jade and Arley out.
Every time I’m around this guy, I’m reminded of why I did it. Why this tension and the ever-present danger of getting caught is worth it.
Cruz would squash Arley’s pretty little soul to dust.
I can’t let that happen.
Damn, I really should think about getting them farther away from this place. Maybe I should get out, take them with me. We could leave California. Take them all the way to the East Coast.
Or Harborton.
The thought seizes me.
No. I can’t go back to that place.
But it’s safe.
It’s not safe! Dad managed to track us down.
Cruz knows nothing of your past. The ranch could hide you while you figure out another plan.
“Hey!” Cruz snaps.
I whip my head back to face him.
“You listening?”
“Sorry. Zoned out for a sec. I’m listening.”
He growls in his throat before blowing a stream of smoke in my direction. “I’ve booked you in for an extra fight tomorrow.”
My insides quake.
Another one?
I’m only just recovering from last night.
“It’ll be easy money.”
“Who am I fighting?” I lean back, trying to look unfazed by the news.
“Julio Delgado.”
I shake my head. I’ve never heard of the guy.
“He’s a skinny little peinabombillas.”
I don’t know what that means and glance at Angelo. He does a little hand signal, indicating the guy is a clueless idiot.
“You should beat him after one round. It’ll be a standard cage fight. The last one left standing wins.”
I force myself to nod like it’s no big deal.
Fighting’s in my blood.
It all started with Dad. The day he first punched Mom, something in me was ignited. I went after him like an alley cat, pummeling him with my scrawny fists and screaming that if he ever touched her again, I’d kill him.
He threw me across the room, and I blacked out. I don’t know what happened after that. The next thing I remember is waking up in my bed and hurting all over. Michael was hovering around me, pressing a cold washcloth against my skin.
Mom crept in later that night to check on us. She had a split lip and an egg forming under her eye. She sat on the edge of the bed, smiling down at me with tears in her eyes.
“You’re my little fighter, Deeks.” She sniffed. “And I love you for it. But don’t take on your dad. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
I grabbed her hand and gazed up at her, my voice shaking with conviction. “If he hurts you, I hurt him. That’s the way it has to be.”
She cried some more and gently hugged me. We rocked together on the bed for a little while, and then she left. I lay awake most of the night, thinking about her pretty face marred by bruises. A seed of hatred was planted, and it only grew. As the drinking got worse, Dad got worse.
I got worse.
Soon I was scrapping with anyone who pissed me off.
I nearly got expelled from school three times, but they kept taking pity on me, because Mom was sick by then.
And then Grandpa Ray came along.
“Go and see Dr. Reece before tomorrow night. I’ve told him to expect you.” Cruz stands, snapping my attention back to him. Dr. Reece has been on Cruz’s payroll for who knows how long. The guy’s an expert at patching up injuries, tricking the human body into thinking it can safely go another few rounds. “He’s gonna strap you up and make sure you’re ready to pummel this guy. I’ve got a lot of money riding on this, so don’t screw up.”
The way he glares down at me reminds me of my old man.
I hold his gaze, the constant anger bubbling in my belly starting to rise to the surface.
“You’re my best fighter.” Cruz points at me. “You make me proud and I’ll give you an extra ten percent of the cut.”
There’s nothing pretty about his grin. He flashes it at me, looking like a lion, before striding out of the room.
I stay where I am, staring out the window, my mind shifting from Mom to Arley.
Two precious souls I desperately want to keep safe.
I failed with one of them.
I won’t fail the other.
Maybe after tomorrow night’s fight, it’s time for me to seriously consider getting her and Jade as far away from the Diablos as I can.
4
Whatever. I’m Out.
The rain is a softer patter outside as I enter the building. I brush the drips off my face and pump up the volume on my phone. The noise-canceling headphones still aren’t enough to drown out the before-school chatter and buzz.
Tate McRae sings me a soft, melancholy tune, and I wallow in it.
I didn’t sleep much last night. I kept getting woken by dreams of my parents, then opening my eyes to a dark room and remembering how my aunt said she doesn’t want me. How my uncle did nothing to fight her on it, just called me an unrecognizable creature.
That’s what I wanted to be though, right?
After my world fell apart, I needed to be someone different, so I stopped cutting my hair, changed my entire wardrobe—my whole persona.
And it’s worked mostly in my favor. I’ve managed to repel everyone who used to “care” about me.
My old life has died, and now I’m living in this faux reality that I can’t make sense of.
Edward comes into my line of sight, and my eyes dart to the floor.
I haven’t been able to look at him since we slept together. It was about two weeks after my parents died, and he was trying to comfort me. I’d never had sex before, and I thought it might make it better. If my body was overtaken by some high, then maybe the pain would fade away.
But it didn’t work.
It wasn’t that he was unkind. I just felt so vulnerable, and afterward, I couldn’t explain that to him. So, I pushed him away, and he got all hurt. Then my friends got pissy with me, saying they couldn’t understand me.
“All we’ve done is be nice to you. We’ve tried to care for you, but you just won’t let us!” Tasha’s voice shook when she cried and pointed at me. “Edward was only ever good to you. And now you’re telling him you never want to see him again. That’s a really bitchy thing to say.”
“Yeah, Kena. Who the hell are you?” Sharon piped up, and all I could do was shake my head.
I didn’t know.
I wasn’t the girl I was before, so I became someone else, and they ditched me completely.
Edward’s sad eyes watch me as I shuffle past. I can see him out of the corner of my eye. His frown turns pitiful, and he shakes his head. I hunch my shoulders a little more, shoving my hands deep inside my pockets and praying graduation will hurry up already.