THE STORM IS GETTING WORSE.
Lightning slashes across an angry black sky, soon followed by the crash of thunder. Waves pound against the ship’s hull as I grip the wooden rail with white knuckles. Fierce gusts of wind tug my hair free from its braid, and damp brown strands whip at my face. I don’t dare let go to brush them away.
Instead, I keep my eyes on the sea. Looking for her.
In some ways, I’ve spent my entire life looking for her. And tonight, my journey may finally come to an end. Unfinished. Unfound.
Ahtohallan. Please! I need you!
Perhaps she never existed at all. Perhaps she was simply a myth. A silly song to lull children to sleep. To make them feel safe and secure in a world that’s anything but. Perhaps I was a fool to think we could simply go and seek her out. Learn the mother’s secrets.
I do know something about a mother’s secrets.
Another wave sweeps in, bashing against the ship’s hull, sending a spray of icy seawater splashing at my face. I stumble backward, momentarily blinded by the salt stinging my eyes. A strong pair of hands clamps down on my hips; a solid chest at my back keeps me upright.
I turn, already knowing whom I’ll find standing tall behind me. The man who has been with me almost my entire life. The man who has made me laugh—and cry—more than anyone else in the world. My husband. The father of my daughters. My enemy. My friend.
My love.
Agnarr, king of Arendelle.
“Come, Iduna,” he says, pulling me around to face him. He reaches out, clasping my hands in his. They are as warm and strong as mine are cold and trembling.
I look up, taking in the sharp line of his jaw. The fierceness in his leaf-green eyes. If he’s frightened, he’s not showing it. “We need to go below deck,” he says, shouting to be heard over the furious wind. “Captain’s orders. It’s not safe up here. One rogue wave could knock you overboard.”
I feel a sob rise to my throat. I want to lash out, protest the orders. I’m fine. I can take care of myself. I’m not some silly girl frightened by the elements.
But what I really want to say is, I can’t leave. I haven’t found her yet.
If I go below, I may never find her.
And if I don’t…
Elsa. My sweet Elsa…My dear Anna…
Agnarr gives me a pointed look. I sigh, untangling my hands from his, and begin stumbling toward the stairs that lead to our cabin below, on legs unaccustomed to rough seas. I’m almost there when the ship suddenly pitches hard to the left and I lose my footing, grabbing on to the railing to save myself. I can feel a few of the crew watching me with concern, but I push forward, keeping my head held high. I am a queen, after all. There are certain expectations.
Once below, I push open our cabin door and move inside, letting it bang shut behind me. The captain has given us his cabin for the journey, which I insisted wasn’t necessary, but I was overruled. It’s the only cabin suited for a fine lady, he protested. Because that’s how he sees me. That’s how they all see me now. A fine lady. A perfectly poised Arendellian queen.
But now, at last, Agnarr knows the truth.
I ease myself down on the bed, reaching to grab my knitting needles and my half-finished project. An inappropriate task under the circumstances, but perhaps the only thing that might steady my hands—my pounding heart. I can hear Agnarr push open the door, his strong, solid presence filling the room. But I don’t look up. Instead, I start to knit as the ship rocks beneath my feet. It’s dark down below, too dark to really see the delicate yarn, but my hands are sure and true, the repetitive motions as natural and familiar to me as taking in air. Yelana would be proud.
Yelana. Is she still out there, in the Enchanted Forest, still locked in the mist?
Only Ahtohallan knows.
Suddenly, I want to throw my needles across the room. Or collapse on the bed in tears. But I do neither, keeping my attention on the unfinished shawl. Forcing myself to let each stitch lull me into something resembling comfort.
Agnarr pulls out a wooden stool from the captain’s desk, sitting down across from me. He picks up a corner of the unfinished shawl, running his large fingers across the tiny stitches. I dare to sneak a peek at him, realizing his eyes have become soft and faraway.
“This is the same pattern,” he says slowly. And I know what he means without asking. Because of course it is. I hadn’t even realized it when I started, but of course it is.
The same pattern as the shawl my mother knitted me when I was a baby.
The shawl that saved his life.
“It’s an old Northuldra pattern,” I explain, surprised how easily the words leave my mouth now that the truth is known. “Belonging to my family.” I pick up his hand and place it on each symbol in turn. “Earth, fire, water, wind.” I pause on the wind symbol, thinking back to Gale. “It was the Wind Spirit who helped me save your life that day in the forest.”
He gives a low whistle. “A wind spirit! If only I’d known,” he says, reaching up to brush his thumb gently across my cheek. Even after all these years, his touch still sparks a longing ache deep inside, and it’s an imperative, not an option, to drop my needles to return the gesture. To run my fingers against the light stubble of his jaw. “It would have made my stories to the girls so much more interesting.”
I smile at this. I can’t help it. He has always found a way to help me find sunshine amidst the gloomiest of days. It’s strange, though, to realize he knows everything now. After a lifetime overshadowed with secrets, it should feel freeing.
But in truth, it still scares me a little, and I find myself glancing at him when he doesn’t know I’m looking. Trying to see, trying to know whether the truth has changed his feelings toward me. Does he resent me for keeping so much from him for so long? Or does he truly understand why I did it? If we survive this night, how will things change between us? Will the truth bring us closer together? Or tear us apart?
Only Ahtohallan knows….
I reach out and take Agnarr’s hands in mine, meeting his deep green eyes with my blue ones. I swallow down the lump in my throat that threatens to choke me, and force another smile.
“I will never forget that day,” I start with a whisper, not sure he can even hear me over the tempest outside. “That horrible, wonderful day.”
“Tell me,” he whispers back, leaning in close. I can feel his breath on my lips. Our faces are inches away. “Tell me everything.”
I swallow all the words that threaten to jump out of my throat in a hurried rush, throwing myself back on the bed, staring up at the wooden-beamed ceiling. After I breathe calmly, I say, “That might take all night.”
He crawls onto the bed, lying down next to me. He reaches out and curls his hand into mine. “For you, I’ve got forever.”
I swallow hard, tears welling in my eyes. I want to protest: we don’t have forever. Or even all night. We may not have an hour, judging from the way the wooden beams of the ship are creaking and cracking. But at the same time, it doesn’t matter. It’s time. It’s long past time. He deserves to know everything.
I swipe the tears away, rolling to my side and propping my head up with my elbow. “You have to tell your part, too,” I say. “This story isn’t only mine, you know.”