I shrugged. “Not any different from dating a regular guy. It’s not like he talks about how much money he has all the time. And I told him I don’t like fancy places, so we get sandwiches and stuff. Honestly, it doesn’t feel any different.”
“Doesn’t he have yachts and second and third homes?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never asked.”
She chuckled. “I bet he’s so glad he found you. I think ninety-five percent of women would be obsessed with his wealth, and you seem to forget about it.”
“All I care about is the man underneath the suit. So, yes, I think I do forget about it.” He didn’t need the money to compensate for any shortcomings. He would be the perfect man even if he were broke.
I knew Kat was in a tough place in life right now, and it meant a lot to me that she was still happy for me. That was the kind of person she was, somebody who thought about others instead of herself. That was why this was so much harder. “So, how have you been doing since…you know?” Since Charlie acted like a cartoon with his tongue hanging out and drooling over Denise as she walked by.
Her mood immediately dropped as if a bulldozer had knocked her over. “I mean…it’s been hard. I’m better now than I was that night, but it was still scarring to see the way Charlie was so hung up on her. I remember when he used to look at me like that…” Her eyes faded away, like she was living in the past, thinking of a cherished memory when they were happy together. She eventually came back to me. “But I guess I have to let that go.” She swallowed the lump in her throat, and her eyes watered slightly. “But it’ll pass. He’ll find somebody else, and then that’ll be it.”
At the beginning of her statement, I had high hopes for this conversation, but then it took a nose dive. “What do you mean?”
“Charlie will meet somebody else and forget about Denise. The man is gorgeous, and I’m sure he’s been with so many women since we broke up.”
I had to handle this delicately, so I tried to choose my words carefully. “Kat, I’m having a hard time understanding why you’re okay with him seeing other women…just not Denise. Do you have a problem with her?”
“No, not at all.” She shook her head. “Just that I actually know her. But with these other women, I can always tell myself they aren’t as good as me, stuff like that to make me feel better. But with Denise, I know exactly who she is, and that just makes it weird, you know? Your sister is great and everything, but I don’t see much of a difference between us. So if he wants to be with her, why not with me? It’s just uncomfortable. I thought Denise was a friend, so how could you be happy for your friend when they’re seeing the man you thought would be your husband?” She released a sigh as she shook her head. “This isn’t just some old boyfriend. He’s the love of my life.”
I could understand that last part easily. I talked about my relationship with Dax openly to everybody, and everyone else did the same when they were seeing somebody. It would be hard to hear Denise talk openly about how happy she was with the man Kat wanted first. But Denise would never do something so cruel.
“He’ll find somebody else. It’ll burn out.” She grabbed the burrito again and took a bite, but then she stared down at the inside of it like she wasn’t even hungry, she just wanted something to do to make her feel better.
The silence continued for a long time.
And I let it.
My heart palpitations were starting to make me sick. I didn’t get scared for any reason; I looked death in the face and didn’t blink, but this was terrifying. I was about to deliver the harshest news ever. “Kat…”
She looked up from the burrito and stared at me.
I almost chickened out. The trust in her eyes made me feel like shit, because the one person she felt the most comfortable with was about to shatter her entire world. But it was better to come from me than Charlie. “I don’t want to be the one to tell you this, but I think it would be better coming from me and not Charlie.”
Her hand lost its grip on her burrito, and it slipped onto the paper plate, bits of rice getting everywhere.
Fuck, where did I start?
“What are you talking about?” she whispered.
“I know you don’t want Charlie and Denise to be together, for valid reasons. But I think you need to understand that it’s not just some fleeting attraction between two people. It’s deeper than that.”
“Oh my god…they are already seeing each other. They’ve been seeing each other this whole time—”
“No,” I said quickly. “Nothing has happened between them. They’ve just been friends. But Charlie feels really strongly toward her, and while he doesn’t want to hurt you, this is what he really wants. This is what he’s always wanted…”
The look of death settled on her face, making her skin pale as milk, her lips white like she’d been drained of blood. “What are you trying to tell me, Carson?”
“He’s felt this way about her for a really long time…”
She started to breathe hard and then even harder. “How long?”
I didn’t answer her because I didn’t need to.
She knew.
“Oh my god…” Her palm rubbed against her chest, and she dropped her chin as she braced herself for the blow. She closed her eyes when she knew the painful truth, when it hit her like a bus. “That was why he broke up with me…” Her eyes filled with tears, and she cupped her mouth to silence her sobs and her shock.
I felt so fucking sick.
She worked through so many microemotions—pain, anger, even briefly…calm. It was a lot to process in one sitting, and she continued to rub her chest as she tried to calm herself down. Then she looked at me again as if she’d had an epiphany. “You knew…”
I could just lie and say I didn’t know until recently, but I didn’t like to lie; that wasn’t who I was. “You have to understand that I’m in the middle of this because I’m friends with both of you. This is why I didn’t want you guys to go out in the first place—”
“I can’t believe you knew this entire time and you didn’t tell me. You made me look like a fucking idiot! I’m sitting here telling you I’m still in love with him and I hope we get back together, and you knew he dumped me for Denise while I went on and on… What the fuck, Carson?” She dragged her hands down her face, trembling. “I didn’t even have the opportunity to keep some self-respect. You think I would have pouted over him and whined to you like that if I’d known the truth?”
This was why I didn’t want to do this. “Everything you told me, I never shared with him. And everything he told me, I didn’t share with you. I tried to stay as neutral as possible, so please don’t be so angry with me. Don’t focus on me, just on the message I provided to you. Charlie was the one who made that decision, he’s the one who hurt you, not me. He was going to tell you himself, but we both agreed it would be better to come from me. I knew it would hurt less.” I truly had good intentions, truly looked out for her more than she realized.
“It would hurt less that both the love of my life and my best friend lied to my face?”