And when Colt is doing stuff for the ranch or the MC, either heading out or sitting at the table behind the laptop to enter information or putting the horses up for sale, it allows me the time to read. It’s a privilege to be here with him.
A tightness squeezes my chest. It’s not only a privilege but a longing too. To have this slice of heaven to last a lifetime. And yet there’s fear clawing inside my veins. All of this is almost too good to be true and I’m waiting for it to blow up in my face.
There are too many uncertainties, like the fact Colt hasn’t touched me in any way or my brother turning up to drag me to his clubhouse, or Cannon for that matter. Though, I feel Colt and I have grown close over the last couple of days. Spending many hours talking, cooking meals together, him teaching me how to ride a horse.
Cavier is going on my positive vibes list for sure. I love riding and have reached the point where Colt isn’t walking beside the horse but is giving me instructions from the middle of the paddock.
I seriously never want to leave this man or his horse. And I dread the day he’s either sick of having me around or someone bursts through that door to end the dream I’ve been living in.
“Hey, why the sad face? You did great with Cavier.” Colt turns the oven on where our previously prepared lasagna was waiting for us to bake.
Sad face? I wasn’t aware sadness entered my features. All of this is dragging me down. And I’ve never felt as powerless as I feel now and maybe it’s because of all of the uncertainties.
No. It’s about the no sex part where I have no clue what Colt is thinking. He was quite clear when he had me in his bed, but those following ten days he has gracefully shared his sheets with me. Correction; he says he’s sleeping next to me but there hasn’t been one morning where I woke up beside him. And the falling asleep part happens on the couch so he carries me to bed.
My frustrations and doubts have grown and I know this situation isn’t how either of us wanted to start out. And we might be getting along now but before he put his plan into motion, we were going head to head on a daily basis. While now all of a sudden, we’re like an old married couple. Because while we might have shared comfort between us…the sex is lacking. Completely nonexistent.
“Cavier isn’t the problem, I enjoy riding him,” I grumble, and add underneath my breath, “It’s you who doesn’t want to take me for a ride.”
“What was that?” Colt snaps.
“What was what, old man?” I snap, irritated by everything.
I stalk to the cabinet to grab two plates but I’m prevented from doing so when Colt’s fingers wrap around my upper arm as he spins me around. His large, muscled body is caging me in, pressing me against the counter.
“Old man, huh?” he snaps with a harsh tone. But then his whole face changes and a fat smirk spreads his face. “I am. But I’m your old man.”
“My old man?” I snicker. “If I had an old man my body would be aware of that little fact.”
His hands leave my arms and are now placed on the counter as he leans in but in no way is the annoying man touching my body. I’m still caged in but everything about that fact leaves me cold.
“Ah. The root of the issue.” Leaning closer he whispers next to my ear, “My old lady has needs.”
My whole body freezes. Did he call me his old lady? I thought he was joking with the old man comment.
“I thought you needed time.” He pushes off the counter and starts to pace the kitchen. “Fuck. I needed time. I’ve wanted you for so damn long and then to have you…I didn’t know if I could handle it long term. And you being a virgin. If I would have crossed that bridge right at the start...if we didn’t work out. Hell…if I couldn’t handle having you around because I’m no good at this shit, Kadence. I’m not a people person.”
“I know!” I snap, a little too agitated by his words and his anxious demeanor.
He takes two fierce steps in my direction. “The time I gave us was too much since I have no damn agitation or breach of privacy feeling when it comes to you. I fucking relish in the knowledge you can’t go anywhere but here. One glance and my eyes can find you. The restlessness rooted in my bones faded to the background and I can sleep for hours just by holding you.”
I close the distance between us and shove his shoulder. “Yeah? Then how come I never, ever, wake up in your arms or fall asleep in them for that matter?”
His forehead is pressing against mine when he says, “Because I hardly ever slept before you filled my bed. I never need more than a few hours but get double the sleep now so I’m an early riser. I make coffee and watch you sleep.”
I jab a finger in his chest to punctuate every word. “Creepy. Fucker.”
His head tips back and laughter rips out.
“It’s not meant to be funny,” I mutter, but am enthralled by the way this man is fully relaxed and offers me a genuine smile, freeing a flock of butterflies inside my belly.
This man has become the center of my world in rapid time and the mere thought of losing him threatens to shatter my heart irreparably.
I swallow hard and ask the very question that can squash my heart underneath the heel of his boot. “Do you still need time?”
“Fuck, no,” he growls as his hand flashes out to wrap his fingers around my nape and pull me close to crash our mouths together.
His tongue brushes against mine and all of my earlier insecurities fall away. I guess the both of us were working through personal issues and needed the time to take the next step. I lean against his body and allow the heat of this man to scorch my insides until he sets my soul on fire to merge with his.
Soulmates used to be a mere word to me, but I completely understand it now. When a person’s touch can seep through your body the moment of impact, lighting up every nerve ending to heighten the tingles spreading in your veins…I’d say I have found what most romance books write about.
A solid and unique connection. Understanding in more than just the need for sex or closeness. We have the time behind us to prove there’s more than lust, we have a foundation. Shared time is shared feelings which has eventually knocked down our hearts, causing us to simultaneously fall.
He’s kissing me as if he is in fact giving me his heart and soul. His hands start to roam and are now on my ass, lifting me up as he walks until he can place my ass on the counter.
I keep my legs around his waist while his hands reach for my shirt and before I can speak up–remembering the last time–he’s already gripping the fabric as buttons fly through the air. Some fumbling with my bra is the only hiccup he seems to have to set my breasts free.
His mouth surrounds my nipple, his teeth giving me a sweet erotic bite to make heat flash through my body until it settles between my legs. The throbbing of my pussy intensifies as he starts to suckle.
I can only squirm with pleasure. I swear this man can give me an orgasm just by spending all of his attention on my breasts. Yet, this time, I’m desperate to feel him closer; to feel him inside me.
My fingers pull at his belt in desperation. A growl rumbles through his throat and the man bats my hands away as he takes a step back. I’m about to curse his head off until I realize he’s quickly stripping away all his clothes until he’s naked in front of me.