I was still back at the fact that Dell had been helping my dad, and I forced my head to catch up. “Okay. I think that’s a good idea. I’m still figuring stuff out here. There’s so much to do inside and out….”
Dell nodded. “Your dad has let a lot of things go, but he was fortunate these past few years, and with the price of corn, he’ll actually grow the farm.” He paused. “I know this is none of my business, but I think he’s doing all this for you.” He rocked closer, and I refused to let myself get drawn up into the old attraction. At least I tried, but it didn’t do any good. The guy I had wanted, had fantasized about, and had dreamed would love me was standing right in front of me, and there wasn’t a damned thing I could do about it.
“He and I have barely spoken since I left town,” I explained. It didn’t make any sense to me. “How is that possible?”
Dell leaned nearer. “I don’t know. But I think that he’s been working himself to the bone in order to grow the farm and make more money. Do you know how he got hurt?”
“Getting out of the tractor,” I answered, and Dell nodded. “I take it there’s more to the story.”
“Don’t go near the road!” Dell called, and Archie promised he wouldn’t, running to Rex to give him a hug, then throwing the ball. It only went about ten feet, but Rex was happy to chase it. Dell turned back to me. “What was I saying? Oh yeah…. Your dad hurt himself because he had been out working until almost nine at night and couldn’t see what he was doing. He’s been working himself ragged.”
“Daddy,” Archie yelled happily, and raced over. “I can throw real good.” He wound up and tossed the ball for Rex, grinning. It didn’t go far, but that didn’t seem to matter to either Archie or his daddy.
“That’s great!” Dell said, and Archie ran back across the yard, with Rex following behind. “I want to do better with him than my dad did with me,” Dell said, still watching Archie as he ran. “I’m determined to be there for him and to put him first. Dad is different with Archie than he was with me when I was growing up.”
“Did you ever get married? I know you didn’t marry Archie’s mother… but….” I was fishing and hoped I wasn’t too transparent.
Dell laughed. “No. After Angie, I had an epiphany. I could lie to myself and everyone else, or I could just be who I was and raise Archie honestly and truthfully. So I came out to my parents.” He paused, and I wanted to rub my ears just to make sure I was hearing what I thought I was.
“You’re gay?” I asked bluntly, and Dell nodded.
“It took a lot of soul-searching and being honest with myself to actually say it, but I am.” Dell took a step closer. “And I know that you are as well, and I think I should clear the air. I feel terrible about how I treated you when we were in school. I know that I ran hot and cold and that I gave you all kind of mixed signals.” He swallowed, and damned if my gaze didn’t zero in on that spot at the base of his throat just before it disappeared into his shirt.
“I see.” I lowered my gaze as my cheeks heated. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable….”
“You did and you didn’t. See, there were so many times I wanted to take you out into the woods so we could go camping, just the two of us, or get you alone behind the barn so I could kiss you and see what your lips really tasted like. But I was scared and worried about what everyone was going to think.” He glanced around.
“How many people know about this part of you?”
Dell grew wary, and I had my answer.
“I’m not in the closet, if that’s what you think. Mom and Dad know, and they were a lot better about it than I thought. I think it’s because they already have a grandchild, and from there, they were like ‘no big deal.’ Like I’d done my duty and carried on the next generation.” He rolled his eyes. “I haven’t been marching in Pride parades, which are a rare commodity out here anyway, but my close friends know too.”
“Okay,” I said cautiously. “Why are you telling me all this?” I crossed my arms over my chest. “I’m glad you said something, don’t get me wrong, but what do you want from me?” To take you to bed? Maybe pull off your clothes and lick you all over? Not that I said any of those things out loud, but a guy’s imagination sometimes takes over and there’s nothing to do about it.
“I don’t know. Like I said, I felt bad about how I treated you and—” He drew close enough that the air around us grew warmer. “—I had a chance to think about things after seeing you yesterday.”
“I see.” He came closer, and I wondered if Dell was going to kiss me. His gorgeous half-lidded eyes grew soft and he parted his lips, a hint of tongue. Damn, he was going to kiss me, and I wanted it bad. I had spent years dreaming of this moment.
“Daddy!” Archie called, and Dell straightened back up, the moment passing. I found myself wondering if it had actually happened. “Watch me.” Archie ran through the yard with his arms stretched out. “I’m a airplane.” Rex ambled after him, barking happily.
“I should probably get him home for lunch,” Dell said.
I checked the time. “You could stay if you’d like. I need to go in and get something for Dad.” I shifted my weight, wondering if I was doing the right thing. I had spent years hung up on Dell, and I needed to be sure I wanted to go down that road again. Dell owning up to how he had treated me was one thing, but…. Oh hell, it was just lunch, not an engagement, and the two of us were going to be working together to help Dad. I needed to keep my brains in my big head. Dell had a son who had to be the most important person in Dell’s life. Besides, I was here for a few weeks and then I’d go home. How much trouble could I get into in that amount of time?
“Do you want to stay and have lunch with Clay and his dad?” Dell asked Archie.
“And Rex?” Archie asked, making both of us chuckle. It was clear who the really important one was at the Kartwell farm.
“Yes. Rex will come in, but you have to promise not to feed him from the table. People food isn’t good for dogs.” Rex had been raised not to beg, but that didn’t mean he didn’t watch for anything that accidentally fell from the table. I knelt down to get closer to Archie’s eye level. “What sort of things do you like to eat for lunch?”
Archie put his fingers to his lips and did an impression of how he was weighing the solution to world peace. “Grilled cheese?” he asked.
“I think we can do that.” I had seen the cheese and bread when I was cleaning up the kitchen. I held out my hand, and Archie took it and lead me toward the back door. “You must be hungry.”
Archie nodded. “Is there ice cream for dessert?”
I could tell Dell was ready to scold him. “I don’t think so, but my dad has some cookies. Will those do?” Apparently from the nod and the smile, they would. I opened the door, and Archie climbed the stairs and went inside.
“Grampy Harvey,” Archie called at the top of his lungs. “I’m here to see you.” He dropped my hand and hurried through the kitchen to the living room. Dell and I followed, and you could have knocked me over with a feather at the way my dad hugged Archie. The smile on his face was something I hadn’t seen in a long time, and I was a little jealous that my dad didn’t smile at me that way. “I’m having lunch with you. Grilled cheese,” Archie informed my dad, who hugged him again.