Tonight, I’m using my precious hour to shower and get ready for a rare night out with the girls. Normally, I pass when Amelia and Star try to get me to go out with them. I just don’t have the kind of life that lends itself to regular evenings out with friends. My sister would be happy to watch Jacks, but I try not to ask very often. Tonight, however, is an exception. It’s Star’s birthday, and all she wants is a night out with her girls at Jackson Brews. How could I say no? I only do this a few times a year.
No one takes a shower as fast as the mother of a toddler, so in record time I’m clean, dry, and exiting the bathroom with a towel wrapped around my body and another around my wet hair. A glance at my phone tells me I can spend nineteen minutes on my hair and makeup.
“Damn, girl. Look at you.”
I grip the top of the towel more tightly and bite back my cringe. Landon, my roommate’s boyfriend, is standing in the hall.
Mostly, I like living with June. Mostly, I feel safe here. But then there’s the week every month or so that her boyfriend’s around.
He works on an oil rig in Texas most of the time, and when he’s in town, he spends more time here than I anticipated. He’s not slimy—not exactly. But any time June’s not around, his glances in my direction turn to leers. I’ve made it a habit to never be alone with him. But today, I forgot. “Hey, Landon.”
He drags his bottom lip through his teeth and stares so hard at my towel that I wonder if he’s attempting telekinesis or something.
I sidestep him, headed to my room, but he blocks me, standing in front of my door.
“I think it’s time we talk.”
“I’m in a hurry.” Dread makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I stare at his chest, unwilling to back down but uninterested in seeing what lurks in his expression. “I have to get dressed and pick up my son.”
“Ask June to do it. You know she would, and that would give us the time we need.” He lifts a hand, taking a stray lock of wet hair between two fingers.
I jerk back. “We don’t need time, and I have to get my son. We have plans.”
Landon chuckles low. “Come on, now. We both know you’re not scared of me. Stop pretending.” He licks his lips then follows my gaze to my bedroom. “If you were my girl, you’d have more than a little room to live in. I’d take real good care of you.”
“You’re with June,” I say, as if the reminder will do any good.
He lifts a shoulder in a lopsided shrug. “We’re casual. She knows I’m not too serious about her. Knows I’m keeping my options open.”
Bullshit. I squeeze my eyes shut and give myself until the count of three to be upset about this. This isn’t my first rodeo. The silver lining of a bumpy life is becoming a pro at recognizing garbage humans. Landon is trash, and part of me has always known that if anything screwed up my arrangement with June, it’d be him. When I open my eyes, he’s smiling, like my moment of weakness was some sort of win for him.
This time, I meet his eyes. “Get out of my way.”
“Sure.” His smile grows. “If you drop that towel.”
Garbage human. “No.” I set my jaw. “Get out of my way so I can get dressed.”
“Come on, Ve-ron-i-ca.” He pronounces the four syllables of my name as if they’re each their own word and closes the distance between us with each beat. I swing around him, lunging for my room and slamming the door behind me.
“Your loss, bitch,” he mutters in the hall.
I bite my lip, knowing anything I shout in reply will only drag this out.
A quick look at my phone tells me I have seventeen minutes before I need to get out of here.
I should call June. I should tell her what happened.
My gut clenches as I look around the little bedroom Jacks and I call home. It’s not much, but it’s a lot more than my sister and I had for most of our childhood. What if I tell June about what just happened and she blames it on me? What if knowing that her boyfriend came on to me is too much for her to handle? Nic would take me and Jacks in, but any space we’d have in her house would never be ours. We’d be visitors. Imposing. I don’t want to ask that of her. I spent most of my life dragging her through the mess I made. I’ll never drag her down again.
With a deep breath, I shove down the worry and lock it away. Sixteen minutes now. Sixteen minutes to do my hair and makeup and get dressed. The clock is always ticking.
Veronica
“May I have a hug before I go?” I call to Jackson, who’s already chasing his cousin Lilly into the living room.
He changes course, races back to me, and gives me a quick leg squeeze. I barely land a kiss on his forehead before he’s out of my grasp and turning toward the living room again.
“He’ll be fine,” my sister says, one hand on her growing belly. “Have a good time tonight. You deserve it.”
My son loves to spend time with his aunt Nic and her family, but I still struggle when I have to leave him. I know he’s fine. I know the time apart is good for both of us. But I also know that I’d do anything to make sure my kid knows he’s loved. That I’d do anything for him and give up anything to keep him in my life. Nic and I never had that.
I drag my bottom lip between my teeth and stare toward the living room, where Jacks has disappeared. “Call if you need anything at all. If he’s homesick or gets cranky or . . .”
Nic squeezes my shoulder. “He’s going to be fine.”
“Hey, Veronica,” Ethan calls from the top of the stairs, heading down. “Thanks for bringing Jacks over. Lilly’s been asking when she’d get to see him again.”
I cough to cover my laugh. That is such a typical Jackson thing—to do me a favor while somehow pretending I’m the one doing them a favor. There’s a reason I named my son after this incredible family—even if their perfection is a little hard to swallow sometimes.
“She’s doing the thing,” Nic tells her husband as he wraps his arms around her from behind.
“The thing?” he asks, sweeping a kiss across her neck.
“The guilt thing.”
“The mom thing,” I say.
“You’ll understand soon enough,” Ethan tells his wife, grinning down at her.
They’re so cute it’s sickening. Not only is their financial position enviable—they live in this amazing house but are in the middle of construction on their forever home—their marriage is the stuff dreams are made of. Love and lust and friendship all braided together in this unbreakable bond most of us can only imagine. Until I saw it for myself, I didn’t believe relationships like that existed outside of novels.
“Yep,” I say, backing toward the front. “Bye, you two. Call me if you need anything.”
“We’ll see you in the morning,” Nic says.
I force a smile before slipping out the door and jogging to my car.
I am so happy for my sister and the life she’s built with Ethan, but sometimes I long for what she has so badly it hurts. I’ll never have someone who looks at me like that. I’ll never have an equal partner in bringing up my son.
My sister’s been amazing since I moved to Jackson Harbor. I didn’t deserve her forgiveness or her help, and she gave it anyway, but that doesn’t change the fact that at the end of the day, it’s just me and Jackson. All I can do is hope like hell that I’m enough.