My nostrils flare as I turn on my blinker. “Is there a reason you’re calling?”
“I’m calling because I’m your little sister who also very recently found out she’s an aunt, and I plan on taking the auntie job very seriously, my dear brother. So tell me. How is she? Is she so cute? Do you love snuggling her?”
“I haven’t snuggled her, Reese.”
“Why the hell not?” she challenges.
I grit my teeth but don’t reply. I don’t have time for this. I gotta get to work. I gotta get away from all the shit going on. I gotta get back into my element where things aren’t so messed up, where things make sense.
“Milo,” Reese scolds. “You told me you were going to give this thing a real shot. You always said if you were going to be a dad, you were going to be a damn good one, remember?”
“Get to the point.”
“My point is, if you haven’t even held your baby girl, you’re doing a pretty crappy job of being a good father. It’s not like you don’t know what to do. You practically raised me. What’s holding you back?”
“I gotta go.”
“Liar. I’m tracking your location on my phone, and I have a solid three minutes until you get to work.” I can hear the triumph in her voice.
“Stupid iPhones,” I mumble, my knuckles tightening around the steering wheel.
“You don’t like my nitpicking,” she surmises. “Which I get. But I know you, Milo. If you hold yourself back from getting to know your baby girl, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. So the question is, what’s holding you back? Is it Em?”
Em.
Maddie.
Whatever the hell her name is.
My jaw tightens, but I stay quiet.
“It’s her, isn’t it? Milo, you don’t know why she kept her pregnancy from you. She was probably scared.”
“She didn’t have the right to be scared.” Not when she’s the one who left.
“Try to put yourself in her shoes––”
“Maybe she should try to put herself in mine,” I counter, my frustration boiling over. “She fucking lied to me, Reese.”
“Yeah, but are you sure giving her the cold shoulder is going to fix––”
“I don’t care about fixing shit.”
I care about forgetting her. Keeping her in the fucking past where she was supposed to stay. She’s been haunting me for months, and now what? I’m supposed to welcome her with open arms? I want to make her hurt. I want to make her feel an ounce of the torture I’ve been living in since the moment she left.
“That’s a lie,” Reese whispers. “And we both know it. You do care about fixing shit. I might not have ever met her, Milo, but I’ve heard the stories. I’ve heard you cared about her before she left. Maybe you should stop looking at her presence like it’s a curse. Maybe it’s a second chance.”
“And maybe it’s all bullshit, and all I need is to get laid.”
“By her? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure she’s supposed to wait a little longer. But, hey, if she’s willing, I say go for it.”
Ignoring the memories assaulting me at the idea of Em lying naked beneath me, I scoff. “Not a chance in hell will I touch her again.”
“Oh?”
“You’re pissing me off, Reese,” I warn her.
“Someone’s touchy.”
“Stop being a little shit.”
“Stop living in denial.”
“You’re making me regret selling my bike,” I grumble.
She laughs. “Why? You don’t like chatting with your little sister while on your way to work?”
“Maybe.”
“Come on. I’m a delight, and we both know it,” she teases, unflustered by my frustration. I guess she’s used to it by now.
“But,” she adds. “I can see I’ve breached a sensitive subject, and I’m going to back off because I know you.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, when push comes to shove, you’re the most stubborn person I’ve ever met, and you aren’t afraid to dig your heels in, even if it means screwing yourself over to prove a point. Remember, you’re allowed to be hurt by her actions. You’re allowed to still care about her. And you’re allowed to give yourself some time to figure out what you want.”
“What I want is to get my dick wet, and it won’t be with her.”
“Ew! Milo!”
Turning into the parking lot of Etch 'N Ink, the rough brick pulls me in like a homing beacon. “Check your app. I’m at work. I gotta go.”
She sighs. “Fiiiine. Just…maybe go home early tonight. Pick up dinner. Maybe watch a movie together? Only you, her, and Baby Boo. It could be good for you.”
“I’m hanging up now.”
“It’s merely a suggestion. I love you, Milo.”
“You too.” I end the call and park my car in one of the furthest stalls from the entrance, leaving the rest for customers. I’m two hours early for my shift, but I couldn’t handle being in the same room with her anymore. I can’t even think of her name without a shot of adrenaline coursing its way through my system.
Maybe I really do need to get laid. Maybe it’ll help set the boundaries I need to get through this. The idea of playing house and following through with Reese’s suggestion is a bad idea.
A very bad idea.
Balancing the pizza box in one hand, I shove open the front door and head down the short hallway to the kitchen. It’s empty. Curious, I set the cardboard box on the counter and head up the stairs near the front door. They creak under my weight as I take them one at a time, convinced I’m a giant pussy for actually following through with Reese’s suggestion earlier. But I couldn’t help it. They’ve been running through my head all day.
Em.
And my kid.
Em’s soft voice filters through the crack in her door as she tilts her head to one side, pinning her cell between her shoulder and ear while cradling Peanut to her bare chest.
She’s nursing.
“Uh, huh. Funny, Gibbs. Are you guys having a good time?”
I rock back on my heels, my chest tight.
Fucking Gibbs.
She still talks to him?
Sonny’s one of my best friends. He’s like a brother to me. But Em––Maddie––definitely put our friendship to the test. We’d shared plenty of girls before her. And it was fine. No drama. No feelings. Nothing more than a few solid orgasms and a good time we enjoyed repeating until one of us got bored and we decided to move on.
But she was different from the very beginning.
I met her when Sonny and I needed to pick up his half-brother, Fender, from his dealer’s house. I don’t touch drugs, thanks to my parents and my shitty upbringing. None of us do. However, Fender’s a loose cannon. He always has been. But he’s a good guy, and when he needs help, he knows he can rely on us.
If I’d known the shitstorm to come from the night we met, I might’ve left him to fend for himself.
When I close my eyes, I can still see her standing on the porch in a pair of barely-there shorts and a dark blue crop top showing off her toned stomach. Her smirk was sexy, confident as she held my gaze from the front lawn. When she gave the same smirk to Gibson as he climbed out of the car, I knew if I ever wanted a shot with her, I’d have to share.