Once I had the tank top on, he lifted the robe. “Put this on. We’ll go get some food for you. Luca ordered once we got here.”
“How long was I in there?”
“The shower?” Shawn asked. “We showed up thirty minutes after you got here. I came to you as soon as we did.”
I’d lost thirty minutes to the shower? No wonder it had been ice pricks on my skin. “You’re soaked,” I murmured. He’d hauled me out of the shower fully dressed, and afterward, I’d stuck to him. He might as well have showered fully clothed.
“I can take care of me—after we get some food in you.”
The thought of eating while my stomach was so knotted made me cringe. There was no way I could eat at the moment, and yet I had no idea how long it’d been since I had eaten. “I’m not hungry.”
“Then sip on broth, but whatever they gave you will flush out of your system quicker if you’re hydrated. Once you’re ready, we need you to tell us what happened, from your point of view.”
Oh God. How had I forgotten? I grabbed his arm and shook him. “Charlie—how is she? Is she okay?”
He pulled me to his side and kissed my temple, walking us back toward the living room. “She’ll have a minor concussion. That’s all. She’ll be back to work in a few days, and she says to tell you hello. None of what happened is your fault, so don’t take that blame on your shoulders.”
He was wrong. Everything that had happened was all my fault because it had everything to do with me. It would be pointless to say it though.
“Who’s Luca?” I asked instead of voicing my true thoughts on the matter. There’d be time for that later, and I’d do it with Charlie face to face.
“I think he’s a guy you seriously do not want to mess with and who owed Jaxon a favor and knew the Mancussos. I’m just going to be thankful for all that instead of thinking about sitting in a room with a guy who’s probably killed more men than prisoners held in a Kansas prison.”
A rough, strangled laugh clawed its way out of my throat. “Thank you.” I leaned into Shawn and squeezed him. “For making me laugh. That was quite the visual you gave.”
“And I wasn’t lying.” There was a teasing gleam in his eye that vanished when he blinked. We’d reached the living suite where a half-dozen men stood. Jaxon I recognized, and as soon as he saw me, he pushed off a wall. Dressed in his uniform of black cargo pants and a black t-shirt that might as well have been painted on him, his knuckles were white, hands at his hips. He wore a frown that could make many cower in a corner.
“You okay?”
“As good as I can be, I think.”
His dark eyes narrowed, lips pursed. “You’re good. Strong. You need to talk to someone, let me know. We’ve got psychs available for any of my team.”
It took me a second to realize what he was talking about. Talking to a therapist? I couldn’t imagine ever telling anyone what I’d seen. The very idea of talking about it made bile rise up from deep in my throat. Still, I knew what was expected when that was offered. “Thanks. I’ll think about it.”
“See that you do.” He leaned in then, lowered his growly bear voice, and bent low enough that we were eye to eye. “There is no shame in needing help. What you’ve been through would rock the strongest and bravest of people. You need help processing that, moving on so it doesn’t haunt you—it only shows more strength to reach out for hands willing to help, Addi. You understand that?”
My chin trembled and my vision turned cloudy. I nodded, unable to speak. He’d seen my lie for what it was and called me on it, building me up in the process.
He was good at what he did. My back straightened and my shoulders pulled back, strengthened by his words and that look.
Jaxon saw it then, flashed me a quick wink, and stepped back, resuming his post at the wall.
“I need to sit. And some soup really does sound like a good idea now.”
4
Shawn
Addi clung to me, a trembling, quaking mess, but I’d have held her forever if I had to. For the first time in twenty-four hours, my world was right again…despite her being drenched, despite finding her huddled in the shower, crying and clawing at her scalp like she was trying to claw memories out of her head.
A terrible, sick taste had balled in my throat at the sight of her. We’d done this to her. We had put her out there. Jaxon had allowed her to be used…hell, she’d chosen it, and still with all our protections in place—
How in the hell had they gotten the jump on us like that? It was the question that still made my teeth grind together. I couldn’t stop replaying the moment I saw Charlie, the SOS call. My teammates were trained, for God’s sake. We anticipated every move. And still, they hadn’t just been a single step ahead, but leaps ahead of us.
Terrifying as fuck to think I couldn’t keep her safe even if she was now here, curling into me and still crying while she talked to Jaxon, her body shaking with fear and cold.
Thankfully, for the most part, she was unharmed, and she was in my arms, clinging to me like she needed me to help her settle.
If anyone ever touched a hair on her head again, it was going to be my gun they ended up on the wrong side of. Like I’d told Addi that first night I walked her home from Dreammaker’s, I’d have absolutely no regrets.
I tried to push down all my frustrations and the fear that had overtaken me over the last day. She was in my arms again, and everything inside of me wanted nothing more than to hold her there, keep her against my body where she could lean on my strength. I would have that, as soon as she ate and took some time to not think about what she’d been through for a little bit.
I could close my eyes and still see the hole I’d made in the wall with my fist once we saw Charlie passed out on the bathroom floor, and I hated the guilt Addie felt about Charlie getting hurt trying to help her.
None of this was her fault. It was the Johannsens’ and the Mancussos’, and as soon as we finished what we’d started with them, I would smile the day I was able to take down Daniel.
After Jaxon gave her his pep talk and therapist recommendation, something I’d bring up to her at a later date, I escorted Addi to the table where there was food set up for her.
“We’ll need to talk about what happened, but that can wait until you’re ready. Right now, take whatever time you need to eat and relax. Get something in your stomach. Rest. Okay?”
She peered up at me with her face pale and exhaustion rimming her eyes. Her shower and shakes had taken a toll. Plus, whatever they’d drugged her with was most likely still in her system. She needed food and rest. “I still don’t understand how you knew where I was.”
“That was Luca. We’ll explain that as well. But for now, think of you, and eat, okay?”
“Right,” she mumbled, right as a yawn hit her. She covered her mouth, pink flaring on her cheeks.
Once she turned to the food and picked up a bowl of chicken noodle soup, I headed toward the suite’s kitchen where Luca stood with one of his men. It was a large open space, allowing me to keep an eye on her but stay far enough away to finally spend some time talking to him.