Home > Lured into Lies (Blossom in Winter #3)(6)

Lured into Lies (Blossom in Winter #3)(6)
Author: Melanie Martins

I know relationships are not perfect––I know they require work and compromises even in the best scenarios––but damn, do I really want a relationship like the one Hendrik has with Mona? One filled with secrets? Is this the type of relationship Alex is really looking for? If that’s the case, then it’s very far from what I’d imagined our relationship would be like. I thought we’d be like a team, fighting in the same direction, for the same goals. But how can a team go in the same direction if I know nothing about the other team player? And while my body remains afloat, my heart is sinking from anger and frustration. I’ve always been an open book with him; he knows everything about me and even my past crushes! Not even Emma knows about so many details of my life. And yes, I lied about the pill, but it’s not my lie that is being used by my mother to compromise our present and our future. It’s not my lie that can land him in jail… Fuck, why can’t he trust me on this one thing? That’s what I really want to know. But how can I persuade him to tell me if he doesn’t want to?

“Petra! Can you come back inside please?” His loud voice startles me instantly.

Opening my eyes wide, I stop my relaxing hovering and put myself back on my feet. Despite the darkness, I can discern his figure standing onshore and slowly walking in my direction. The dark shadow of the sand kicking up from his angry footsteps alerts me that he’s closer than I’d thought.

“Stop it!” I yell, seeing him now entering into the water, most likely to take me back home. “Leave me alone!” I hear nothing from his side, yet he’s getting closer and closer to me. “I said stop!”

Alex finally stands still only inches from me, but in a quick move, he grasps my wrist, leaving me even more angry at him. I do my best to release myself from him, walking backwards while trying to pull my arm away.

“What a child you can be sometimes!” he chides, his hand still firmly holding me. “Can’t we just talk?”

“Leave me alone!” With rage consuming me, I clench my other hand and pummel his chest as hard as I can multiple times. “I hate you! Leave me alone!”

“Hey, hey, hey…” His tone is hurried but softer, his hand releases my wrist, but only for him to bring me into his arms. “I know you’re mad…” His soothing whisper doesn’t work, and I push him away.

“I’m fucking tired of your secrets!” I manage to spit out from the depths of my lungs. “Do you know how it feels to be excluded? Fuck! You don’t! You don’t!” I point at him in disgust.

“Petra, enough!”

Eyes on eyes, I don’t vacillate, I don’t tremble, I’m just too tired of his bullshit. “I’m not marrying someone who will keep secrets from me.”

“Oh, stop it…” he brushes it off like I don’t mean it, but I do. His grip loosens ever so slightly, but he doesn’t let me go.

“I’m not joking.” Alex sighs in annoyance and most likely also in disbelief. I roll my eyes in response, thankful that it’s too dark for him to tell. “I don’t want to be kept in the dark. I fucking do not.”

“Petra…”

I’m too furious at him to listen. “I left everything behind for you! Without questioning a thing! I love you to a point that is ridiculous,” I chuckle at my own stupidity. “And you know it.” Angry tears brim my eyes, but I push them back. “You know I love you to a point beyond rational, and you play with it! You like to push and push and push to see how far you can go.”

“You’re exaggerating.”

“I’m not.” I sniffle, tired of so many fights. “Your mom told me you are an expert in manipulating women to make them do what you want,” I fess out, tears gathering in my eyes. “And I thought it was only sexually, you know, like with the plugs and so on. But now…” I let my words trail off, before taking a breath in exhaustion. “Now I get it—you just wanted to keep them away from knowing your true self.”

Alex exhales loudly in return once again, but he doesn’t refute my statement. Instead he just says, “Why is it so damn difficult for you to trust me on this?”

“I could ask you the same,” I snap, glaring at him.

Nothing but heartbeats and loud breaths can be heard.

“I do trust you.” Alex glances around, uneasiness setting in. “I just…”

I wait a few more seconds for him to say something, and when he doesn’t, I mutter, “Just what?”

“What happened in the past is totally irrelevant. I did things I’m not proud of. That’s it.”

I frown in confusion. If it’s irrelevant then why isn’t he sharing it with me? Unless he’s scared I won’t react well. “Are you afraid I’ll judge you for it?” And before he can answer, I add, “Because I won’t.”

Alex lets out a sigh, tired at my insistence. “You aren’t gonna stop, are you?”

“I can’t…” I tell him, my tone just above a whisper. “It hurts like hell being excluded while everyone else knows.” As my words sink into him, Alex remains quiet, considering me. “If you are serious about us, then I can’t be kept in the dark. I know you’re upset about the pill thing, but you know I wouldn’t keep something from you like you’re doing to me. I just want to feel like you care.”

He rubs his eyelids tiredly before staring away toward the dark mystery that is the ocean. And as we stand here in total silence among the shadows, our bodies half dipping in the warm waters of the Caribbean Sea, I hope this time he’s taken me seriously enough to assess my request. I never thought I’d have gone as far as putting forth an ultimatum, but I can’t be excluded any longer. Not from him.

“Can we at least go somewhere dry?” His voice sounds defeated, but his anger has seemed to have faded all together.

My brows raise up at his question, giving me a glimmer of hope. “Oh, um, okay.”

As we walk back to the shores, Alex takes my hand, and the gesture feels so good and familiar that it warms my heart, comforting me. To my surprise, it now feels chilly outside, and I shiver as a quick breeze passes through us, leaving my wet skin with goosebumps. We go to the cabana where we had been earlier in the day, and I find two dry towels sitting inside. While I take one for myself, Alex puts the other one on my shoulders, rubbing my back to warm me up.

“Warm enough?”

“Thanks,” I mumble. The small gesture makes my stomach quiver out of excitement.

Then Alex sits on the mattress, and I do the same. I keep myself positioned so that my feet are touching the sand, while he props his entire body atop of it. While my feet start tracing a line in the sand, Alex seems to be taking in the surroundings. “It’s a beautiful night…” he fumbles out.

I follow his gaze and look at the moon and stars spread amongst the dark sky and admire how peaceful the beach is. Now that I’m drier, it’s actually pretty enjoyable outside, and the quiet of the night actually helps me relax. “It is.”

“If I tell you what happened,” he begins, sounding still on the fence. “Do you promise me to never ever talk about it with anyone? Not even Emma?”

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