I nod at him, not knowing what else to say or do. His openness is truly appreciated though, and I wish Alex could give me the same.
“If my son is keeping things from you, it’s because he doesn’t want to disappoint you,” he says. “He unfortunately learnt that from me.”
“Well, I’m not Margaret. Being kept in the dark is the exact opposite of what I thought our relationship would be like,” I tell him, sounding nearly like a vent, but the truth is, “I don’t want to fail in a marriage that hasn't even gotten started.”
“I understand,” he answers quietly, his lips offering me a pleasant smile. “If there’s one thing my marriage with Margaret taught me, is to be with someone who doesn’t shy away from your true self.” I nod and return the smile in appreciation, looking to the sea for a moment.
They say the older you are, the wiser you get. And Hendrik seems to be a perfect display of wisdom. I feel tempted to ask him further about his current relationship. Actually, in truth, a million other questions buzz around in my mind, but there is one in particular I can’t ignore. “Is there a reason why you never married Mona?” Hendrik can’t hide the shock in his face. “I mean, you have been together for quite awhile, no?”
“That’s a subject for another time, Ms. Van Gatt.” He then stands up and offers me his palm, which I accept to raise myself from the sand. “Now, let’s go have dinner.” I brush the sand from my legs and take his arm, and we slowly start pacing back to the house. “Have you ever tried a black truffle pizza?”
Chapter 2
Alexander Van Dieren
The last thing I need is for Petra to start insisting on knowing my past. And yet, what if she persists to a point that it starts to compromise our relationship? She’s so freaking stubborn and curious that I’ve got no idea how far she’ll go in order to know about that incident.
Sitting at the terrace table with Ryan and his legal team, who have been working all day long on a defense against the guardianship case that Tess brought up, I contemplate every aspect of telling Petra the truth or not. “Ryan, may I have a word, please?” I glance at his two colleagues, and Ryan gives them the okay to leave the terrace and work elsewhere. Once we are finally left alone, I ask, “What would be the legal implications of telling Petra what happened twenty years ago?”
“None,” he answers straight away. “At least, that I’m aware of.” He leans back in his chair, considering me. “You know what I think about this whole thing, right?”
I tilt my head to the side, my eyes squinting at him for answering with another question.
Ryan exhales loudly, pulling his chair closer to me. “Look, what you did is what we’d consider in New York a Class C violent felony. It was an accident, and that means it would’ve been easily resolved in court. You’d have paid a fine, maybe serve a year or two under house arrest, and that would’ve been the end of it.”
I nod at him, now remembering our talk dating back seventeen years ago when he became my lawyer for some random shit that happened with a model who tried to sue me. The case was settled pretty smoothly, and Ryan gained my trust from that point on. After all, his expertise in criminal defense and negotiating settlements is equal to none. “Maybe in the Netherlands it’d have been different, but I don’t think hiding the body and keeping quiet was the best decision in the long run.”
“The problem was not even with me but Roy, his job, his reputation…” I shake my head at how stupid I was for caring so much about him. “I mean, I didn’t want to cause more troubles in his marriage, plus he was my dad's protégé…” I tell Ryan, but it’s mostly just to reassure myself.
“I know it was messy,” he replies. “I understand that. If you want to tell Petra the truth, by all means go ahead, but remember, Roy did the same with Tess, and look where it led him—she is now blackmailing him.”
“Petra is not like her,” I snap instantly, my fist clenching out of reflexive defense.
“Not for now…” Ryan pauses, his gaze studying me for a moment. “But you are still giving away info that can compromise you. It’s a confession, after all—a confession she can always use against you one day or another.”
I remain silent, knowing all too well the number of people who have been in trouble for sharing important secrets with their spouses. After all, that’s how Mom managed to kick Dad out of his own company. And now Tess is doing the same with Roy. Yet twenty years ago, I truly thought they were the perfect couple—a true inspiration. Each time Tess would come to a social gathering, Roy would always have that glitter in his eye as he watched her speak. I genuinely thought they were meant to last through the tests of time.
But maybe that’s how every marriages starts… with a naive feeling of bliss and happiness. Until routine settles in, then comes the monotony, the boredom, the lack of excitement, the kids, and then having to live with the flaws of the other person–flaws that become more and more visible and unbearable. Since the divorce of my parents, marriage never looked appealing to me. Heck, even when they were together, they never seemed to be in love. To me, their union seemed nothing more than a charade, done for the sake of gaining power and the ability to influence the two families. Roy and Tess had restored my faith in the institution for a while until they also got a divorce. Well, at least my sisters seem to be doing alright, except that they don’t share any of the shit they do to their own husbands. As I come to think of it… Is keeping secrets from each other the recipe for a successful marriage? After all, if Roy had never confessed to Tess all the things he had done, maybe they’d still be together, who knows? Petra doesn’t have anything to do with my past in the first place. Fuck, we are not even married, and yet she’s constantly making demands. Demands for me not to hunt, demands for me not to eat meat when she’s around, demands for me to tell her secrets from twenty years ago that she can one day use against me…
“Dinner is served,” the butler announces, walking onto the terrace.
“Shall we?” I blink twice, my eyes landing on Ryan, who’s now rising from his seat and getting ready to go.
As we get into the dining room, I shouldn’t be surprised to find Petra sitting beside my dad and engrossed in his conversation. A laugh erupts from her, and she looks totally smitten while he is busy probably telling her one of his many stories from around the globe, stories which are infamously filled with adventures and mystery. He really can’t help himself, can he?
I pull a chair and sit in front of her, while Ryan and his team sit beside me. To my surprise, Mona isn’t here, but I don’t ask him why. They both have their days, and I will be the last person on the planet to ask him about the details of his relationship.
As we wait for our starters to come, I notice Petra and Dad are sharing a pizza like two teenagers and are ignoring pretty much everyone else. This isn’t a family dinner; they are basically having their own dinner while we are having ours even though we’re sitting at the same table. I roll my eyes as Petra continues chuckling while she takes another slice of pizza. I can’t help but look at how her eyes are pinned on my dad. I’m not sure what he’s telling her, but she is totally fixated on him. A true pity Dad wasn’t as attentive with my sisters and I when we were her age.