I’m done trying to be good, or even trying to be understanding. I’m not perfect, but I don’t deserve all this shit either. I take her hand, ignoring the shriek from Stephanie. Her loud cursing in my direction is lost on me.
Stephanie’s right. I’m bad luck, but I don’t care. I drag Skylar across the street, my head swimming with music. It starts soft, and by the time I have Skylar pushed up against the back door of my house, it’s pounding and vibrating through my head.
I take her lips. This is what I am, and I’m done feeling guilty about it.
I might be the worst, but at least I own my shit. I should have a warning tattooed on me. Because they all deserve better.
I thrust my tongue into Skylar’s willing mouth and groan at the large barbell that twirls and fucks my mouth.
I pull back and look at her flushed face. “What?” She cocks her head and smiles.
I lean down to murmur in her ear. “I’m gonna fuck you.”
“Okay.” She shudders, excitement radiating off her.
“Then after I’ve blown my load…” Her chest is rising and falling in somewhat of a pant. “You’re gonna pierce my cock.” She puffs out some air and looks down at my erection. Reaching to grab it, she rubs it hard.
“Absolutely.”
GIA
Past – Eighteen years old
UC Berkeley, California
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Julianna, my roommate and bestie, flops down on her bed and looks at me.
“What are you talking about? This is the opportunity of a lifetime.” I pivot and reach up for a pile of jeans, then toss them into my suitcase.
“I can’t believe you actually pulled this off.” She lies down, resting her head on her hand as she watches me pack.
“Jul, I’m kind of insulted that you doubted me.” I shoot her a glare as she laughs, falls onto her back, and stares up at the ceiling.
“Rhys Granger. The Stuffed Muffins. This is crazy.” Her long blond hair covers most of the pillow, and for one small second, I’m grateful that I’m the only one going. Not that I think Rhys would be into her, but Julianna is beautiful. What’s wrong with me? I never feel like this.
“Hello? Gia?” My eyes focus and I realize she’s holding my cell phone, which is playing “Lost in You,” the Stuffed Muffins’ latest hit.
Dread flows through me as I snatch it out of her hand. “Don’t answer it.” Her horrified face should make me pull myself together, but I’m slightly off right now.
“Geez, Gia.” Julianna shakes her head at me as I frantically decline the call. I look at her and back at my phone before sinking down to sit on the edge of my bed.
I need to think. This might be nothing—just my mom wanting to tell me to be careful and that she’s excited for me.
“You okay? You’re starting to worry me.” Julianna’s big blue eyes show concern. I must look as bad as I feel. And I feel like I want to puke.
“I thought you said your mom was fine with you going on tour with them over winter break.” She cocks her head, and the kindness in her voice makes me want to cry because I’ve worked so hard, and if this phone call is what I think it is…
“I did.” I jump up and pace in our tiny dorm room, which is so limited on space that my giant suitcase takes up a big portion of the floor.
“Shit.” I make my brain think. Julianna was right. It’s a miracle I’ve pulled this off. It all boils down to the fact that both my photography and English professors are giant Stuffed Muffins fans. So much so that I was pretty much given a guaranteed A. All I have to do is an exclusive interview that my professor, Mr. Berry, can submit to Rolling Stone for me and provide some recent pictures, and it’ll probably put me on the map. Over the years, I’ve stayed in touch with Nuke, their drummer, and if his drunken phone calls complaining about how the band is not in sync are any indication, Rhys absolutely needs me. I mean, who else knows him like I do?
The time is now. I’m already late—this is the tail end of their tour.
Six weeks.
Six weeks to make Rhys realize what I have always known. That we’re soulmates. It doesn’t matter that I haven’t seen him in years. Or that he has become one of the biggest stars in the world. What matters is us. He needs me. It’s why I’m so determined to get out of here. They’re playing tonight in Seattle. Nuke was a bit fuzzy on how long they were staying.
My phone starts singing again and I take a deep breath. Might as well deal with it because I’m absolutely going to do this.
Exhaling, I toss my hair off my left shoulder. “Hey, Mom, what’s up? I’m super busy, so if it’s not an emergency, I really need—”
“Gia, you need to stop and listen to me,” my mom yells through the phone, halting my rant. Damn it, I had hoped I could talk right over her.
“You need to call your brother.” And those are the last words I ever want to hear out of my mom’s mouth.
“Why?” I almost explode at her. Why the hell did she tell him?
“He’s not happy,” she says flatly.
I huff. “Axel’s never happy.” Taking a deep breath, it’s hard not to go off on my mom, but I hold back. I glance over at Julianna who sits at the end of her bed looking like a Disney princess, except for her gross and annoying habit of picking her nail polish off. I almost swat her hand, but I need to focus.
“Look, sweetheart, I know this is through the university, but Axel has some concerns.”
I go to open my mouth but she continues. “Call him. You know he’s only looking out for you. If he says yes, then by all means go, and do the best job in the world.” She says the last part as if she’s on a talk show. She’s so phony and completely see-through. God, I can’t believe I felt guilty because technically this has nothing to do with Berkeley. But now I don’t. Of course, she’s trying to make Axel happy. That’s what everyone does. It’s all about not upsetting Axel.
Pathetic.
All but me—screw that. He’s my brother but I can see his flaws. I take another deep breath.
“Fine.” I huff. “I’ll call Mitchell, but just for the record, I’m eighteen, so I don’t need permission from either of you.”
The line goes silent. “Hello?”
“I’m here.” Her voice is loud and clear. “Call your brother, young lady, if you want to continue using your credit card.” And then the line really does go dead.
“Goddammit.” I toss my phone on the pillow. “Goddammit.” I jump up and pace.
“What?” Julianna tries to follow, her blond hair slapping me in the face as I turn quickly.
Sighing, I look up at the dull white ceiling. “I have to call freakin’ Mitchell.” I clench and unclench my hands.
“Who’s Mitchell?” Julianna’s voice goes up. She gets flustered easily.
“Axel. Mitchell is Axel,” My eyes flash at her. “Never mind.” I wave my hand, already rehearsing what I need to say.
Hey, big brother. I’m going to spend my whole winter break with the Stuffed Muffins. Why? Because I need to convince Rhys Granger that we are destined to be together. So, deal with it and don’t stand in my way. Somehow that’s not going to fly. In fact, he might lock me up. He and Rhys are not close anymore.