I smiled as the women agreed.
Feeling the need to use the bathroom, I excused myself, feeling happier than I had in a long time. This dinner could be the turning point, where I finally found some people. The bathroom was divided into two sections. One was lit, and the other was in darkness. For some odd reason, I decided to go to the opposite side, shrouded in darkness. I used the toilet, flushed, and was washing my hands when I heard the giggling.
“Can you believe her?”
I recognized Amanda’s voice. I stepped back into the toilet stall. Who were they talking about?
“My face hurts from smiling so much,” Sofia said.
“Tell me about it. If Slavik wasn’t here, I would have been able to ignore her. Do you know what they call her?” Irina asked.
“No, what?” Sofia and Amanda asked.
“The fat Italian. Honestly. People feel sorry for Slavik. I don’t know how he puts up with her. He could do so much better. I know my dad tried to get me thrown at him, but Volkov decided the Fredo girl was more important.” The jealousy in Irina’s voice was clear to hear.
So, where I thought I’d made a connection with these women, it was all an act.
“Did you see the dress?” Amanda asked. “She looked like a cow. All Slavik has to do is say the word, and I’d do anything for him. I heard on her wedding night, Slavik had to cut himself because he couldn’t find her pussy through the layers of fat.”
It went on and on. Between them using the bathroom, washing their hands, and applying makeup, they continued to insult me. Once they left, I stepped out of the stall. It wasn’t the first time this had happened.
I stared at my reflection. My hair had been curled by the male hairstylist Slavik had hired. He’d wanted to cut my hair, but I refused, and so he curled it.
Tonight … I thought I looked pretty. I guessed I was wrong.
Tears shimmered in my eyes as I looked at my reflection, and my smile wobbled. “What did you expect?” I took a deep breath, calming down my nerves, and finally, the tears faded.
Time to go and play a role.
I stepped out of the bathroom and took my seat back at the table. My hand shook as I reached for the glass of water.
Amanda, Sofia, and Irina were back at the table, and I kept my gaze forward.
Slavik’s hand brushed mine. I turned toward him as I jerked my hand away from him. My entire body shook.
“What’s the matter?” he asked.
“Nothing. I’m fine.”
He didn’t need to know that another hope and dream had just been dashed. My pity party was my own.
My heart raced and I sat back. I ignored the women at my side and stared across the table. Ivan stared right back at me. I didn’t know what to do, and so I looked down at where a slice of chocolate cake waited for me.
It looked delicious with the dark frosting and the moist cake, but I felt sick.
“I ordered dessert for you,” Slavik said.
“Thank you, but I’m not hungry.” I sipped at my water.
“I don’t suppose you’ve got some news to tell me?” Ivan asked, silencing the table as he talked.
When he spoke, everyone else shut up.
Heat filled my body, and I made sure not to look at Ivan.
“No news.”
“So no little babies coming our way? The next generation of good strong men?” he asked.
Babies. We’d have to be having sex to have babies, and that wasn’t happening.
“No babies,” Slavik said.
“Aw, Slavik, you break this poor man’s heart. I want to see more children.”
This entire conversation was getting to me.
“May I go home?” I asked.
As I asked, I knew it was incredibly rude of me, but I needed to get away from here. I had to have a break and leave. The thought of staying here, well, I needed distance from the women, from Slavik, from duty.
Gazes turned from me to Ivan, and he nodded. “Of course, my dear.”
Slavik clicked his fingers, signaling Sergei, but Ivan tutted. “No, your wife is clearly feeling unwell. We’ll talk another time. Go with her.”
Ivan’s word was law.
So, together, we stood. I made my escape toward the exit. Sergei already had my coat, which I took, grateful.
Slavik came back and held out a small white card.
“Amanda said you needed to organize a lunch together.”
I stared at the card for several seconds before I reached out to grab it. Without question, I tore it up and threw it in the trash. I wasn’t going to make friends with people who talked behind my back like that. All my life I’d been alone, and I could continue to be so.
Wrapping my arms around my body, I stood outside, waiting for the car. Slavik stood beside me. He was so much taller than me. Muscular as well. From the glimpse I’d gotten of him on my wedding night, I knew he was heavily inked, and he clearly worked out a lot.
I gritted my teeth as the car came into view. Sliding into the back seat, I tried to hug myself against the door, but I couldn’t get close enough. Slavik was too close.
He pressed a button that raised the partition, separating us from the driver. We now had privacy.
“Do you want to tell me what is going on?” he asked.
“Nothing is going on. I didn’t need you to take me home. I was happy going with Sergei.” I sank my nails into my palm as I stared out the window.
Slavik wrapped his fingers around my wrist and tugged me close. “I don’t like being ignored.”
“You’re hurting me.”
“And you’re starting to piss me off.”
Tears filled my eyes. He could so easily break my wrist. I stayed perfectly still.
“I just … I wanted to leave.”
“You think I didn’t see a difference after you’d gone to use the bathroom? What was said? They went after you but came out first? Are you hiding a pregnancy from me? Tell me.”
He spat out all these questions, and I struggled to keep up. I was terrified, scared.
“What? No. I’m not pregnant. And … I don’t want to have anything to do with the other women.” I didn’t want to tell him the reason why, but when he insisted, I had no choice but to tell him what I heard. I told him every single word.
Afterward, silence fell between us, and I realized he’d released my wrist. I pulled away from him, holding my wrist against me, protecting myself against him. He … frightened me. There was no other word for it, and now he heard my shame.
“You will never be left alone with those women,” he said.
Not like I hadn’t already planned to ignore them. I wouldn’t invite myself to any of their parties, nor would I have anything more to do with them.
I’d wanted friends. Who didn’t? But there was no way I was going to impose my presence on people who didn’t want me.
My lip wobbled.
I hated this feeling. Gritting my teeth, I tried to ignore the pain. The loneliness. The desperate question of why people didn’t like me. It wasn’t like I did anything to incite it. At least I didn’t think I did. I guessed I was just one of those people others couldn’t stand.
“Are you sure you’re not pregnant?”
“I’ve been having my period,” I said. “It takes sex to have babies.”