Dad frowned. “Just do it. It’ll help all of our nerves.”
I sighed and nodded. “I can do that.”
I hugged my parents, messed with Aaron’s hair just because I could, and then watched them drive away. I loved my family. There was no stopping that. And they might want different things than I did, but they had always been there for me, even when my mistake had changed everything. Only, as Aaron had said, maybe I needed a life. Or at least a girlfriend.
As if I had conjured her from thin air, I heard her laugh.
I looked up as Nessa walked across the parking lot, a guy who looked somewhat familiar by her side. They weren’t holding hands or even touching, but they were walking close enough that I knew it was probably a date. An afternoon outing at the same diner I had just eaten at. Nessa didn’t notice me—she never did.
I was always only the roommate, the friend. The guy she had kissed one night and didn’t remember. I wasn’t going to be the one to remind her. She wouldn’t have done it if she had been in her right mind, and I hadn’t kissed her back. I wouldn’t have. She had been drunk, and it would have been stupid.
That didn’t mean I had forgotten it. At all.
Now, Nessa was out with someone, clearly over Pacey. Even in her busy schedule, she’d found time to have a life. My little brother was right. I did need a life. And I needed a girlfriend.
Someone who wasn’t Nessa.
Chapter 3
Nessa
Books made everything better. At least, that’s what I told myself after the week I’d had. I looked over my shoulder to make sure nobody was watching before I gently sniffed the book in my hand, inhaling that new-book smell. Everything felt better when I had a book in my hands and near my soul.
“Are you smelling the books again?” Everly asked as she walked over to me, a broad smile on her face. She’d tied her hair back and had on a cute, flowy top over leggings. She was gorgeous. One day, I wanted to be her.
“Maybe…” I blinked innocently, and the other woman just grinned.
“We at Beneath the Cover believe that sniffing your books is the best way to start your day.”
“I’m glad I’m working at the right place.” I winked, and Everly laughed.
Beneath the Cover was a small bookshop in downtown Denver that the owners had rebuilt after a fire years ago. It had been my favorite place to come when I was in high school, somewhere my mother and I visited often before she got sick. When they rebuilt it, and quickly thanks to Everly’s husband’s family business, the place had thrived.
When I wasn’t at school or studying, I was here, at this bookshop or across the street at the café I liked to visit. That was also part of Everly’s family’s business somehow. I also visited a little boutique and even a tattoo shop where I had gotten my first and only tattoo—a little bumblebee on my wrist.
My dad had rolled his eyes and shook his head when he saw it. The ink had been for Mom, so he had gotten a bumblebee, as well, on his forearm that blended with his other ink. Montgomery Ink had taken care of us, and now, I was working at their family’s bookshop.
I knew that Dillon’s family was somehow connected to them, too, though every time I tried to think about it, my eyes crossed. But I knew that the Montgomerys were everywhere. However, what mattered to me right now was this bookshop and that Everly was always here for me.
“I’m almost done stocking the fantasy section.”
“Good, you’re doing a great job of it. I love the display you did up front.”
“I do, too. The color cascade worked out well.”
“It’s like in a library when people say, ‘I don’t remember the title, but the cover was blue.’” Everly rolled her eyes. “We have an ombre blue section now. Perfect for our needs.”
“I saw it on a meme.” I shook my head. “I didn’t make it up.”
“I’m pretty sure I saw the same one but in yellow. We do what we can. Business is going well.” Everly winced and knocked on a wooden bookshelf. “That means I need to go in the back and get some work done.”
“No problem. I’ll work up front.”
“You’re not alone, but I’m delighted that you’re here.” She reached out and squeezed my shoulder before walking back to her office. Everly had been through hell, though I didn’t know much about it, just rumors and things she had let slip. She was so strong. Marriage, family, and having her own business had done well for her. She knew where she was and who she needed to be. In contrast, I felt as if I had no idea what my plan should be.
My phone buzzed, and I looked around. Everly didn’t care if I responded to a text as long as there weren’t customers waiting for me and I got my work done, but I still made sure no one was watching.
Xander: Just making sure you’re having a good day. Will I see you tomorrow for our date?
I bit my lip and tried to feel that warm feeling, the little buzz in the gut that told me this was the guy for me. Only, I wasn’t sure. Xander and I had gone to the diner for our date, and it had been nice. He was pleasant, the food was decent, and he’d made me laugh. There was just no zing.
My problem was that I had felt a zing twice now with two people I shouldn’t. That meant I probably shouldn’t trust my zing.
Still, I would go on another date and wonder what zing I should be looking for and ignore the ones I’d already felt for the wrong people.
Me: I’ll be there.
Xander: I had a good day. I hope you did too.
Me: Totally. Only now I’m working. Talk to you later?
Xander: No problem. Call when you get home?
I frowned but shrugged.
Me: Maybe. Got to go.
After one date, I wasn’t sure I was comfortable telling him where I was at all times, but I understood that he wanted to make sure I was safe. It would be after dark in downtown Denver for the drive south to the campus area where I lived. Our campus wasn’t downtown like a few of the major ones were, but it was close enough. Just a quick jaunt down the highway. And, thankfully, it would be after rush hour. Although, I sometimes felt like rush hour in Denver was every hour.
I slipped my phone back into my pocket and returned to work. I helped a few people check out, found books they wanted, and then went to my other display in the kids’ section.
There was more staff on hand. Miley worked up front and was hyper and bubbly at the register. People were usually drawn to her, which meant I could do more stocking, arranging shelves, and making recommendations. I liked that part better, anyway. In the end, my to-be-read pile went insane. As if it’d multiplied when I wasn’t looking.
The bell above the door rang, pulling my attention from a stack of books about a fox that liked to play with a deer. I looked over my shoulder and smiled as Mackenzie, Elise, and Natalie walked in. My roommates gave me a quick wave, said hello to Miley, and then headed my way.
“Hey, there.” Natalie smiled at me and hugged me as Mackenzie and Elise moved around to do the same.
“I didn’t know you guys were coming in today.”
Mackenzie shrugged, a smile on her face. “I had that seminar at UCD, so I was already here. And Elise was visiting with Dillon at the family’s brewery. It just made sense for us to come.”