Home > My Next Play (On My Own #3)(3)

My Next Play (On My Own #3)(3)
Author: Carrie Ann Ryan

That thought just made me blush harder, and I did my best not to think about exactly what was hard and where it was on him. I would not think about that. That would send me down a path to destruction and make me feel as if I were losing my damn mind. I had already fallen down the rabbit hole of falling for someone I shouldn’t.

I did not need to make it a problem again, where I fell for someone who just so happened to be nice to me.

I wasn’t that pathetic.

Yet, those glasses? They did things. Warm things.

Perhaps one beer was enough, after all.

“Oh, I like them. Anyway, thanks for catching me since I probably would’ve tripped over my feet turning the corner so quickly.”

He swallowed hard, and I did not look at how his neck moved. I did not. “I ran into you, too. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s your house.”

“It is my house. That means I get to just run into everybody?” His cute brows furrowed.

Cute? How could brows be attractive? Was I placing my crush from Pacey onto Miles? That was the only explanation. And…I was an idiot. A pathetic loser idiot who needed to go home and write her paper and pretend that I had my life under control.

That would make much more sense.

“I guess I’m going to head home.” I hadn’t meant to say that aloud.

“Did I hurt you?” He pushed up his glasses as he studied my face.

Why was I watching his forearms as he pushed up his glasses? What was in that beer?

“No, I just have a lot on my mind. And homework. And I should probably stop at one beer.” Not a lie.

“I thought you were on your way to the kitchen to get more. You don’t need to leave because I ran into you.”

“It’s not about you. I promise.”

His cheeks blushed, and I wanted to kick myself. Why was I such an idiot? Every word that came out of my mouth felt as if I was kicking him. I didn’t know why. “I didn’t think that. I should go.”

I reached out and gripped his forearm. His thick forearm. All muscle. The muscle I wasn’t going to think about. “Sorry, I’m having an off night.”

Or an off life at this point.

“I can see that. I’m having one, too. I am sorry that I ran into you.”

“You don’t have to be sorry, and not just because you live here. We were going around blind corners. I’m surprised it doesn’t happen more often. Anyway, it was nice to see you, Miles,” I said, very proud of how I sounded—like an adult without issues plaguing them.

He let out a breath. “Have a good night.”

“You, too, Miles,” I said, feeling his gaze.

I couldn’t let on that I knew. That I remembered kissing him.

I didn’t know if he’d kissed me back. Though perhaps I didn’t want to know. I needed to stop thinking about dating within the house pool. I needed someone new. Somebody who made me smile and laugh and didn’t live at the same address as Pacey, Dillon, Miles, or Tanner.

There were many guys at school. They existed; I knew they did. I didn’t need to think about Pacey. Or now Miles, it seemed.

Miles looked at me again. “Sure.” Then he headed over to a group of people I knew shared his major. Since we were all starting our senior years, most of us ended up in groups of people we studied with.

English majors were a little different because there were enough of us, like the business majors, who ended up in our own little worlds, usually alone. I had my roommates. I didn’t need anyone else.

I ignored my earlier thought about another beer and once again considered going home, but then I would just be running, wouldn’t I? Also, I didn’t want to be a liar.

My phone buzzed, and I pulled it out of my crossbody bag and frowned.

Dad: Just checking in on you.

My eyes burned, but I didn’t cry. I didn’t do anything. I didn’t have a lot of feelings left. Or maybe the problem was that I had too many.

Me: Everything’s good. I love you, Dad.

Dad: I love you too. Just miss you.

Tears nearly fell again. I blinked them back. I did not need to think about my home life. I didn’t need to think about anything beyond school.

It was just Dad and me now. Cancer had finally taken Mom after a hard and painful fight. It was only the two of us left. He was the man I needed in my life—no one else.

He was alone tonight, and so was I—even surrounded by people.

Me: I love you. I’ll call you tomorrow?

Dad: I’d like that. Stay safe, buttercup.

I snorted at the nickname and then smiled.

Me: Always.

I put my phone back into my purse, grateful I hadn’t cried in the middle of the party. Tanner was off in a corner, his harem of people around him. I didn’t know if he was in a relationship or not since the triad he had been in had blown up because of cheating—though not by Tanner. He had rules. And if you broke them, you were out of his life.

He met my gaze over the throng of people and raised a brow. I shrugged, threw a little wave, and headed towards the door. Natalie and Elise were off in another corner with Dillon and a couple of people I didn’t recognize, but they didn’t notice me walk by. They were all having an animated conversation. I kept moving, not wanting to intrude, especially with the dark cloud above my head.

I didn’t know where Pacey or Mackenzie had gone, and I did my best not to look for them. I would text everyone that I was headed home so they wouldn’t worry.

Even if I felt alone in a crowd of people, my roommates and the guys would always make sure I was safe. I had them in my corner, and I had to remember that.

Closer to the door, I ran into another person. My shoulder ached, and I winced. Tonight was so not my night.

I looked up at the man with blue eyes, blond hair that curled over his shoulder, and a smile that had two dimples peeking out of his cheeks.

Okay, then. Swoon.

A nice guy. One smiling at me and giving me a very come-hither look. And he did not live at this address.

“I’m sorry,” he said, smiling down at me. “I didn’t mean to bump into you.”

I smiled back. “I’m sorry, too. I seem to be clumsy today.”

“You, clumsy? Oh, I don’t think so. Maybe it was just meant to be that I knocked into you.” He winced. “Wow, that was possibly the worst line I’ve ever used. I could have said something about, ‘Did it hurt when you fell?’ but that would be going too far.”

I laughed, shaking my head. “I’m glad you didn’t start with that.”

“Are you heading out?” he asked. “I hope not.”

“Another line? A little smoother this time, at least. As for leaving, I’m not sure yet.”

“I’m Xander. You should come and have a drink with me. To say sorry for knocking into you.”

“I’m Nessa. You know what? Maybe a drink is okay.”

“I like the sound of that, Nessa.” Xander held out his arm. I linked mine with his and laughed.

Tonight had not gone exactly as I’d wanted it to, but Xander seemed nice. At least for a beer and a laugh.

He didn’t live with Pacey, he wasn’t Pacey, and he wasn’t a guy with glasses that I seemed to have imprinted myself on, one I had kissed when I was at my lowest. A guy who’d been so sweet to me, I was afraid that I would hurt him unintentionally by being myself.

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