Though, they were exclusive and had been for over a year. He went out of his way to make time for her, get to Phoenix to see her.
Meg?
Not so much, but to be fair, her job didn’t allow her to.
Still, not so much.
She was a reporter for a local station. She was aiming to sit behind the desk as an anchor, and after she achieved that, she wanted to move on to bigger and better things.
Or, he should say, stand on the set and talk at a camera, something he did not get why it was the thing. Judge thought when newscasters did that they looked like the awkward folks at a party, standing around not knowing who to talk to. It was his opinion, when you listened to the news, you needed to trust that the person giving it to you was taking it seriously, not gabbing while waiting for a tray of hors d’oeuvres to be passed around.
Needless to say, Meg did not share this opinion.
Judge ran an outreach program for a massive outdoor store that had over seventy locations in the US. A program aimed to get urban kids out into nature.
He hiked with the kids…a lot.
He also hiked by himself and did other things outside…a lot.
But most of his job was about raising money, ditto awareness of the issue, and the profile of the program, as well as managing the logistics that included hundreds of volunteers in dozens of cities doing hundreds of hikes a year.
He wasn’t paid enough to afford a BMW. But even if he was, he wouldn’t buy one.
He also wasn’t homeless.
But they were here, at a bar, and Meg was ending things with him, when they’d committed to each other over a year ago. They regularly, if not all the time, slept at each other’s sides. They’d gone on vacations together. And they’d met each other’s families.
Or, she’d had dinner with his dad.
His mom?
Absolutely not.
“Though, a lot of men and women would want to hike for a living,” he went on. “Around fifty million people in the US alone regularly hike.”
“Judge—”
He wasn’t done.
“You’re not an outdoors person. That’s cool. I don’t care because you’re smart as hell and goal oriented. You’re interesting. You’re funny. You’re sweet. And you’re beautiful. I want you to have what you want. I want to support you in your goals. I want you to be happy. What I don’t want is for you to mold me into who you think I’m supposed to be to fit into your life.”
Right.
The real honesty?
This had been an issue.
It being one right then, he wasn’t blindsided by it.
She’d said some things. There had been more than a few looks when he’d been with her and shared with others what he did. She’d done some suggesting, urging and downright pushing.
He just thought she’d get over it when he didn’t bend and definitely didn’t break.
Her expression had softened when he’d told her all the things he found attractive in her, because Meg liked compliments. She told him her love language was words.
So he gave her words, because that was what she needed and she was upfront about it, even if he wasn’t a flowery speeches kind of guy.
She also thought what he said opened a door for her, and even if it didn’t, she tried to stroll through.
“You can get involved down here. In Phoenix,” she said. “There are a lot of charities you can work for. On the whole, there are just tons more opportunities down here. And truly, Judge, you’re wasted up there. You’re whip smart, and when you talk, people listen to you. You’re a natural leader. You should be with a bigger program. You should be seeking new challenges. You should be reaching for something higher.”
“Organizations that pay more, have advancement opportunities and don’t require me to travel,” he filled in what she left unsaid.
She opened her mouth.
But this shit from Megan wasn’t the only pressure Judge had about this same subject.
And if he didn’t put up with it from the other source, he was not going to put up with it from his girlfriend.
“Meg, no,” he cut her off before she could use it. “I love my job. I love what I do. I love it. I’ve told you that. More than once. Does that mean nothing to you?”
“Do I mean nothing to you?” she retorted.
Uh.
No.
“I could ask you the same thing,” he returned. “And your answer would be rougher, babe, because it isn’t me breaking it off with you because you’re not what I want, and you won’t adjust your life to make yourself into that. So the only answer you could give me is, not much. I don’t mean much to you. You’re seeing the wrong man. And now, it’s over because you’ve either figured that out, or you’re cutting your losses before you invest any more time with me.”
She appeared insulted. “Judge, I love you.”
Okay.
That totally pissed him off.
“And you’re ending things not because I’m a dick to you. Not because I lie or cheat or steal. Not because I flirt with other women in front of you. Not because we fight. Not because we have differing opinions we believe in strongly and we can’t get around those differences. But instead, because you think I have no direction or ambition when I do have direction and ambition.”
He saw her start to intercede.
But he was far from done.
“I want, and I’ll add that I work very hard, to get kids moving their bodies. To show them how extraordinary nature is. Introduce them to vistas that don’t include concrete and asphalt. Where the air is fresher, and the stars shine brighter. I want to explain to them how important it is we guard these things, keep them safe and pure, and what it’ll mean when we don’t. Because they’re going to be in the positions soon where they have no choice but to do something about it, and they need to start thinking about that now.”
She again tried to say something.
But he hadn’t even gotten to the most important part of it.
So he didn’t shut up.
“And above all, just to let them know they aren’t forgotten. There are people who give a shit about them and what they experience and want to broaden those experiences, their minds, and bottom line think they’re worth spending time with. And I don’t know, Meg, if that isn’t good enough for you, then you’re right. Though I wouldn’t take you to a bar to dump you after we spent over a year of our lives together. But that makes no difference. You’re right. We’re wrong. And it’s time to end it.”
With that, and her staring at him, he slid off his barstool, pulled out his wallet, opened it and tossed enough money on the table to pay for their drinks and the food that had not yet been delivered.
“I gotta get home,” he said. “Text me when I can come to your place to get my shit. I’ll pack yours up and bring it when I do that.”
He started to leave, but she caught his forearm.
“Are you really just walking away from me?” she demanded.
He stopped and looked down at her. “Sorry, did I steal your exit?”
She took her hand from his arm. “There’s no need to be a dick.”
Unh-unh.
No.
“Hang on a second, you told five minutes ago, in all honesty, that you thought I had no direction, no drive and that I didn’t know what I wanted or how to go after it in a preamble to dump my ass. And I’ve given you what you want. We’re through, and I’m walking away because I’m not real hip on sitting here after you’ve kicked me to the curb and watching you pick through a plate of tater tot nachos because eating two expends your allotment of calories for the day. And I’m being a dick?”