God, I hated him for who he had become, but when I watched him be like this with someone else, I also missed him. And I hated the deep ache in my stomach at the thought.
“Beck can’t help you.” He lifted Josie into the air, her body wiggling and trying to get out of his grip the entire time, before he tossed her in the air and to the deep end of the pool. “What are you two looking at?” He turned to me and Frankie. “Any comments you all would like to make this morning?”
“Nope.” Frankie leaned against the back of the pool. “But it’s not our fault you act like a prick before anyone has even had their coffee.”
He dove for her before she even got the last few words out, and she squealed as he tried to grab ahold of her. “Say you’re sorry, and I won’t throw you.”
“Not happening.” Frankie laughed, and Carson caught ahold of her hand. His hand brushed my leg as they horse-played, and I tensed at the contact. I hadn’t touched him in forever. His gaze met mine, as if he felt that brush as strongly as I had. It was only for a moment.
But it felt like a lifetime. I held my breath until he looked away from me. My stomach ached, my chest ached, and if I was being honest with myself, my thighs tightened from that one look alone.
“All right, Frankie girl. It was your choice.” He lifted her in the air like he had Josie just moments before and threw her too.
I expected him to swim away, to not say another word to me since he didn’t currently have anything to insult me about, but he didn’t. He turned back in my direction, crossed his arms over his chest, and stared at me.
“What?” I asked consciously. I wished he would look anywhere but at me.
“You have anything that you’d like to say?”
“Absolutely not.” I shook my head and gripped my fingers harder into the pool edge.
“You don’t think I’ll throw your ass into the pool too?” He cocked his head to the side, and I knew he was challenging me.
“I didn’t think you even knew I existed when there wasn’t another guy talking to me.”
He jolted back as if my words shocked him, and I guess they probably did. I rarely ever said anything to him, let alone anything to defend myself in any way. Hell, before I became friends with Josie, I tried to avoid him at all costs.
“I think we both know that I’m well aware of the fact that you exist.” He moved closer to me, and I straightened. What was he doing?
“Do we?” I looked behind him to where Olly was pulling Frankie to the shallow end of the pool. She was staring daggers at Carson’s back, but he had no idea. His attention was all on me.
Nothing in this world scared me more.
The only time Carson paid me any attention was when he intended to hurt me, to berate me, to put me down. I couldn’t handle any of those things right now. Not after the conversation I just had with the girls. The memories of who Carson and I used to be were still fresh in my mind, and I didn’t want them tainted by this guy who stood in front of me now.
“Come on, Allie.” He was less than a foot away from me. “Get in the water or I will drag your ass in.”
“No.” I shook my head and started to climb from the pool’s edge, but he reached his hands out and grabbed ahold of my legs before I could. His hands held on to me just behind my knees, and I felt paralyzed by his touch.
“Carson, don’t.” My words were a whisper, only for me and him to hear, and I knew that he could hear the emotion in my voice that I had tried to hide.
“Why not?” His fingers tightened around my skin. “We’re just having fun.”
I looked down at him, and I couldn’t help staring at his chest or the way it rose and fell with each of his breaths. His body was perfect, chiseled through athletics and years of surfing, and it felt so sinful to look at. There wasn’t an innocent thought that ran through my mind as my gaze skimmed over his golden skin.
“You and I don’t have fun anymore, remember?”
He chuckled and his stomach pressed into my shins. I couldn’t remember the last time we had been this close, but it felt good. It felt so damn familiar. The warmth of his skin, the smell of his leftover cologne.
He was like the warmest of memories mixed with the harshest dose of reality.
Past and present. Then and now.
They were so different yet so familiar, and I couldn’t keep my head on straight when the two of them became so clouded.
“I’m well aware, but honestly, I don’t remember you being much fun back then either.”
I knew he was trying to get a reaction out of me. That was what he wanted. “You’re such a liar.” I tried to pull out of his hold, but his grip was relentless.
“You’re right.” His truth shocked me. “Get in the water and remind me how fun you are.”
“It’s not happening. Let me go.” His touch felt like a brand, burning me, consuming me, and I knew it wasn’t meant to be. He was simply touching me, playing another one of his damn games, and I wasn’t capable of having these stupid, insignificant moments with him. Every word, every look, every touch, it all meant too much.
“All right, Allie. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He pushed between my thighs before he wrapped one of his arms around my back. He lifted me to him like I weighed nothing, and even though I didn’t want to, I grabbed onto his shoulders to stop me from falling.
“Carson, put me down.” My words were breathless in his ear. His hand tightened behind my back, his fingers relaxing before contracting again against my skin. My legs were wrapped around him, and I caught everyone watching us out of the corner of my eye.
“I’ll make you a deal.” Carson stopped in the center of the pool and looked straight into my eyes. “If you’ll agree to go out on a date with me, I won’t throw you.”
“What?” I jolted backward, but his hands held me in place. “Have you lost your mind? Did you hit your head last night after we left the party?”
“No.” He chuckled. “My head is perfectly clear.”
“Is this a joke then? Are you trying to prove some point?” I squirmed in his arms and tried to put some space between us. “I’m not going to say yes, so you might as well go ahead and throw me.”
“You wound me.” He lifted me higher against him and readjusted his grip. I knew that I was about to be thrown into the water at any moment. “Can’t a guy just be interested in his old friend?”
“Not you.”
“I guess you would think that, huh?” He spun me in his arms until he was cradling me.
“Have you given me any reason to think differently? You hate me, Carson, and I don’t think that fact has suddenly changed in the last few hours.”
He stared down at my mouth before bringing his gaze back to meet mine. “I don’t hate you.”
Before I could take in his words or think of a response, he threw me. I flew through the air before hitting the water, and I let myself sink as the water surrounded me. I had no idea what the hell he was doing or why he was doing it, but I no longer trusted Carson Hale.
I knew that fact above all others.
But his words still shot through me like an assault. I don’t hate you. They messed with my head and my heart, and I knew that was what he wanted.