Home > The Retaliation You Deliver : A Dark Bully College Romance(3)

The Retaliation You Deliver : A Dark Bully College Romance(3)
Author: Tracy Lorraine

When I finally managed to get to my feet, the only place my shaky legs took me was up to my room and to my bed.

But my room here didn’t provide the comfort I craved.

I needed safety, security, and this house has never provided me with either of those things.

I always thought of it as the house of horrors, and the events of last night only go to prove just how right I was.

Sucking in a deep breath, I force my eyes open and sit up.

They burn, the skin around them sore from all the tears I shed last night, and I’m sure if I were to look in a mirror, I’d find them red and bloodshot from my lack of sleep.

Every single time I closed my eyes, I saw him. That poor little boy at the hands of my uncle. The monster.

How did I not realize it was him?

Now that I know, it’s so freaking obvious.

The image of him on that desk is clearer than ever, his green terrified eyes as they locked onto mine. His full parted lips as they silently pleaded with me to help him.

The tears start all over again despite thinking I must’ve already run out after all the crying last night.

Silently they run down my cheeks, dropping to the sheets beneath me with quiet dull thuds.

My head spins with everything as I try to get a grasp on how I really feel.

Anger surges through my veins keeping my muscles pulled tight. Betrayal tastes bitter on my tongue.

But that’s not it, because despite everything. I understand.

I get why he felt the need to do what he did, and a part of me hates myself for it because I know that I should be hating him.

He’s the one who played me, who hurt me, who used me. All the things I feared he was doing right from the start.

But the broken little girl inside of me recognizes the broken little boy in him and all she wants to do is pull him into her arms and make everything better.

Damn her, naïve little child.

My muscles pull as I climb from the bed and pad toward my bathroom.

With every move, his scent hits my nose and that along with the slight ache between my legs, ensures that I never forget that last night really happened.

I brush my teeth without looking at myself, too scared to discover what kind of devastating state I’m in after he left me behind.

The second I spit the toothpaste out, I turn to the shower, strip off the shirt I slept in last night and step under the burning hot spray.

I usually can’t stand it scalding, or at least I haven’t for a lot of years but today, I need it.

I need the pain, I need the burn, I need to remember that out of all of this, something good has to happen.

Lifting my hand to my chest, I recall Leon throwing the welcome pack from Acorn Lodge down on me.

I knew it was what he wanted. The second I pieced it all together in my head, it was obvious that my uncle was his intended target. I guess I was just the added bonus and collateral damage to his endgame.

He must hate you, a little voice says in my head.

I fall back against the tiled wall, not even registering the cold.

How good of an actor is he to have made me believe he really wanted me? The things he said to me, the way he touched me. How could he do that when I’m sure all he wanted to do was hurt me?

For the ultimate pain.

Make me fall and then pull the rug from beneath me.

I slide down the wall and curl myself into a ball, wrapping my arms around my legs and resting my head on my knees.

I want to chastise myself for being so stupid that I fell for it. But I knew it was coming. I told myself time and time again that it—that he—was too good to be true yet I continued to see him, continued to fall, and allowed him to shatter my rules and my well constructed walls.

I made it so easy for him.

Was he laughing at me the whole time?

He told me that I was different. But really, I’m no different than all of them.

It only took him days to get into my panties. And this weekend, whether it went the way it did or not, we’d have taken that final step together, of that I have no doubt.

I’m no different to all the jersey chasers I hate, falling for the player almost without a second thought.

I have no idea how long I sit there under the stream of water, but eventually my skin is pruney and my tears have once again dried up and I know it’s time to move.

I haven’t fought my entire life to crumble to pieces because of a guy.

He’s not just any guy though, is he?

Climbing to my feet, I go through the motions of washing up but I’m completely moving on autopilot.

It’s not until I walk back into my room and the sound of my cell vibrating in my purse fills my ears that everything comes crashing down around me once more.

Sitting at my vanity table, I rummage around in my purse until I find it.

That silly little girl inside me hopes for it to be him. For him to apologize and tell me that he never really hated me, that he understands that I had to do what I did back then.

But I already know it’s not.

There’s no way he’s going to forgive me that easily, or ever.

I left him to—

I swallow down the lump in my throat, unable to even think the words let alone acknowledge what happened to him inside that room that day.

And how many times after?

Lowering my cell, I heave at the thought of what he’s been through. The abuse I helped subject him to with my inaction.

I’m out of the chair before I even register I’ve moved and in seconds, I’m on my knees in front of the toilet, emptying my stomach into the bowl.

Tears once again cascade down my face as I fall back on my ass and breathe in and out, counting each breath.

It’s a move I haven’t had to use for years in order to get control of myself and I hate that I’ve got to revert back to it.

Once I’m stronger, I brush my teeth once more and go back to find where I abandoned my cell.

I find it face down on the floor between the vanity and the bathroom.

Turning it over and waking it up, I find what I was expecting.

The call wasn’t from Leon but an unknown number.

And there’s not just one call but eight.

Curious, I open the one voicemail and put it on speaker as I press play.

“M-Macie? It’s Peyton, Luca Dunn’s girlfriend.” My heart pounds against my ribcage as her words flow through me. “We… um… we just wanted to check that you’re okay. If you could call me that would be great. T-thanks, bye.”

All the air rushes from my lungs.

Do they know?

Something tells me they don’t. I have a sinking suspicion that there are only three of us who do know the truth.

Needing to at least attempt to find some strength before I return her call, I drag on a clean set of clothes and blow-dry my hair.

I tell myself that I’m not putting it off any longer. I have no idea what Peyton knows about last night, that we’re even in Miami. But the fact she’s even calling means she must know something.

My stomach drops into my feet as a thought hits me.

What if something happened to him? He was so angry when he left last night. He could have—

As I dial her number, the ringing is loud in the room. My pulse is thundering through my entire body as I wait for the call to connect.

If something has happened to him, I’ll never be able to forgive myself for allowing him to storm out the way he did.

“Hey, can I call you back in ten?” she asks the second the call connects.

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