“Marissa,” I say, but I have no idea what else to follow it with.
She closes the distance between us and hugs me. “When they told me you were dead….”
She starts sobbing against my shoulder, and I rub her back in comfort. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to say. I can feel Ember’s eyes on me, but I don’t have the courage to meet them.
“What happened?” she asks but doesn’t pull her head away. “How did this happen?”
“A sick man knocked me out, kidnapped me, and made it look like I died. It’s a long and twisted story I don’t even know how to tell, to be honest.”
“All that matters is that you’re back,” she mumbles against me, tightening her hold. “You’ve come back to me.”
“Marissa,” I say again, swallowing down the awkwardness I’m feeling, knowing I have to take this situation by the balls whether I want to or not. “I need to introduce you to someone.” I break the embrace and take a few steps back so that I’m closer to Ember than I am to Marissa. “This is Ember. She was with me in Hallelujah Junction. We were held there together before we escaped.”
Marissa looks at Ember and offers a weak smile as she wipes at the tears on her cheeks. “Ember, it’s nice to meet you. I’m so happy Christopher didn’t have to be alone while there.”
“She’s my wife,” I blurt, not knowing how to say it gently and in a way not to hurt Marissa. I have to rip off the Band-Aid. She deserves to know the bitter truth as soon as possible.
Marissa takes a stumbling step back as if I just punched her in the face. She scans Ember from head to toe and then looks at me. “Your wife? What are you talking about?”
“The man—Richard—who held me captive forced me to marry Ember. He considered Ember his daughter and… well, I was kidnapped with the intention for me to marry his daughter.”
“Christopher was forced to marry her,” my mother chimes in. “He had no choice. He was chained to a wall, and after that, he was chained to this girl.”
I still can’t look at Ember. I should. I should stand by her side and hold her hand in solidarity, but at the same time, the pain that is now on Marissa’s face is killing a piece of me slowly. I don’t want to hurt her. Hell… I don’t want to hurt anyone. But there is no way I can walk away from this situation without someone’s heart getting decimated.
“You’re married now?” Marissa asks in disbelief. “Why would you…? Married?
“Not really. Not legally,” my mother tries to reassure as she looks at Ember with a level of disgust on her face I’ve never seen before. “He was kidnapped. He had to do what he had to do to survive.”
I finally look at Ember, who is staring at Marissa with just as much confusion and shock as Marissa has painted on her face.
“What about us?” Marissa asks. “What about me?”
“I know this is hard,” I begin, trying to find the right words. But what the fuck can I say? In Marissa’s eyes, I died, I came back to life, and now I’m married. All without a formal breakup or closure.
Do I break up with her?
Isn’t the situation obvious?
I run my fingers through my hair as my head spins. What is the fucking situation? I don’t even know it myself.
Ms. Evans tries to cut through the awkward air. “Can I get anyone anything to eat or drink?” I don’t blame the woman one bit for wanting to flee to the kitchen.
“No, thank you. I think Ember and I need to go get showered and some rest,” I say, knowing I too want to flee this room, but I understand I can’t just run from my problems. “Marissa… I understand this is a lot to take in. I wish I had all the right things to say, but I don’t know what they are. All I know is that right now, I have to take things one minute at a time. I need to shower. I need to process. I need to breathe. I also understand that you have questions. Lots of questions. But can we discuss this all tomorrow? It’s been a really long day after months of even longer days. Can you give me that?” I look to my mother. “Can you both give me that?”
“I’ve prepared your old room for you, Christopher, and I also prepared the guest room for Ember,” Ms. Evans says.
“No need for the guest room. We’ll both be using mine,” I inform everyone.
“Christopher!” my mother says with a loud gasp as she takes a step toward Marissa in a sign of camaraderie and loyalty. “I think that’s far from appropriate. I think Ember will be perfectly comfortable in the guest room.”
“I’m not going to leave Ember alone right now. I made a promise, and I’m going to stick to it.”
I know I’m hurting Marissa. I know I’m upsetting my mother. But as I take Ember’s hand to lead her upstairs, I also know I have a responsibility to Ember… to my wife.
“Christopher,” my mother calls to me as we are at the top of the stairs. I prepare to spin on my heels and snap her head off. I’m losing patience, and I am in no mood to have her argue with me as to where Ember’s going to sleep. “I’ll give some of my clothes to Ember until we have a chance to go shopping. We look like we are close in size. I also had some of your old belongings boxed up. Ms. Evans pulled the clothes out for you.”
Surprised by her act of kindness to a woman who I can clearly see she dislikes, I look over my shoulder and give her a smile. “Thank you, Mom. I appreciate that.” I glance at Marissa, who has tears in her eyes and a blotchy face. “We can all meet and talk it out tomorrow. Goodnight.”
When we enter my room, I release a deep breath I didn’t realize I must have been holding. It’s odd to see my old room, not that it really was my room from my childhood. My mother completely remodeled it when I went off to college, so it’s really just another guest room with a queen-sized bed, dressers, and nightstands imported from Paris. She was so proud of the room, but it wasn’t my taste at all. I much preferred clean, modern lines over the antique feel, but it made my mother happy.
When I close the door, Ember speaks for the first time. “Who is Marissa?”
Jesus, I need sleep and don’t feel like talking anymore, but I also know Ember deserves her questions answered. “She was my girlfriend before.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“There’s a lot about me and my life prior to meeting you that you don’t know, Ember. You have to understand that. But should I have told you I had a girlfriend? Yes. And I apologize. I should have prepared you for this—although, in all fairness, I didn’t think she’d be waiting for me the minute I arrived home. I thought I’d have some time.”
“You had a girlfriend? But you married me?” she asks softly, and although I’m growing frustrated with the situation—it’s not like any of this is my fucking fault—I try to keep my calm. Ember doesn’t deserve my wrath.
“I didn’t have a choice in marrying you.” The minute the words leave my mouth, I regret them.
Ember nearly wobbles to the edge of the bed and sits down, looking down at the oriental rug. She kicks off her shoes and wiggles her freed toes.
“I understand that,” Ember says as she then looks up at me. “But we’re married now. I know your mother says we aren’t. But I believe we are. Under God, we are. In my heart and soul, we are. How do you feel?”